Sorry I dont know which way to turn

barbara12

Sorry about this, I went to see my GP last week, well he sent for me, has some of you know, I should have had my first THR by now, but partly me being chicken, and partly because they cant say how much of the pain is coming from my back.
To cut a long story short, they now want to do surgery on two disc in my back, my head is swimming, how on earth could I agree to that , when I haven't even said I will have a THR.
Sorry If I am confusing you all, if I thought this pain was all from my hips then they could do it today.
Please forgive me Im am really down today, but tomorrow is another day, I feel better now I have typed all this.
Thankyou for listening
Barbara xx

keith1971

Hi Barbara,

Sorry to hear you're feeling confused & frightened by all the decisions placed at your door.

My advice would be to follow your surgeon/doctor's advice. I don't think they're in the general habit of performing operations just for the fun of it so if they're suggesting you have surgery it must be to improve your condition & surely that's the ultimate goal when someone's in pain or sick.

Try not to focus on the operations themselves, try to think about how positively they'll affect your life a few months down the line.

x x

stickywicket

Oh Barbara, I think you're poor head is not so much swimming as drowning in all this unexpected information.

To me, what it comes down to is this - do you trust the person/people who first seemed to say you needed a THR and now seem to be saying you need 2 discs replacing. (Is that before the THR or instead of?)

If you believe they know what they're doing then go for it. If you're not sure, talk it over with your GP, taking someone with you for moral support and also for remembering exactly what was said. (It's amazing how my husband & I remember different things.) When confronted with an unplanned op I think I'd be so gobsmacked I wouldn't remember clearly anything that came after that.

It must be really scary but if the pain is really coming from your discs there'd be not much point in doing a THR. Plus, it'd be very annoying to have had one only to find you were still in as much pain. I hope you're feeling better about it soon.

bertyboy

hi Barbara i am not surprised your head is in a whirl , its a lot to take in but i think a few questions need to be ask as to who has made these decisions and how , i so hope it all becomes clear and you know whats on the cards and why x

tkachev

Yes I agree you need time to think things through and more information before making such an important decision. Take your time Barbara, don't be rushed.

Elizabeth

dreamdaisy

Step 1. Pour yourself a large glass of white wine.

Step 2. Drink it at any rate you like.

Step 3. Pour yourself another.

Step 4. Drink that at any rate you like.

Step 5. Finish today as you would normally do for a Monday, albeit as
little more unsteadily than usual.

Step 6. Wake up tomorrow morning, and do what you would normally do on a Tuesday, but make sure to include some quiet time to sit and think about it all. Ignore the siren call of the wine.

Step 7. Come Wednesday, repeat as for Tuesday, including the ignoring part.

Step 8. Come Thursday, do the same again, ignoring etc etc.

Step 9. It's Friday, get rid of the day then come and join me and cherrybim in the den. We will pour the white wine.

Step 10. Once the panic has subsided (and it will) and a clearer view can be taken (and it can) then and only then decide what you want to do. Meanwhile talk to us. We're here. DD

elainebadknee

Hi Barbara

Well you know its a lot to take in and pretty scary too id imagine back surgery....
Human instinct (well im talking about people i know and myself) want to put off things such as surgery as its damn frightening so youre not chicken just normal.
Im not surprised that youre down but i guess you digest it, consider it, and make a decision thats right for you and your health....

Hope you are okay, have something nice today, cup tea, cake, treat yourself for one day?

Elaine & Sol

xx xx

barbara12 wrote:

Sorry about this, I went to see my GP last week, well he sent for me, has some of you know, I should have had my first THR by now, but partly me being chicken, and partly because they cant say how much of the pain is coming from my back.
To cut a long story short, they now want to do surgery on two disc in my back, my head is swimming, how on earth could I agree to that , when I haven't even said I will have a THR.
Sorry If I am confusing you all, if I thought this pain was all from my hips then they could do it today.
Please forgive me Im am really down today, but tomorrow is another day, I feel better now I have typed all this.
Thankyou for listening
Barbara xx

elnafinn

Aw Barbara, you poor love, I can feel your panic and upset in your thread. What I do not understand is, have you seen a surgeon who is suggesting a back op and also a surgeon who is willing to do a hip operation? It is not the same surgeon that has said you now need a back op, that offered the hip one, is it?

The ball is in your court, Barbara, no one can do anything until you sign on the dotted line. Take your time, it is your body and you need to be sure of what is going and get some facts from the medics, if you have not already received them.

Thinking of you, my lovely,

Love
Elna x

coco67

i cant add to what has been already said but i can send you these (((((HUGS)))))

roses1

HI Barbara,

i have no idea what you are going through but i would just like to offer my support and ((((((hugs))))))

follow DD'S 1- 10 theres a plan to start with.
you take your time in whatever decion you make , do some research, talk to drs, surgeons etc

You have all the time you need.

Rose x

Turbogran

Hi Barbara
I cannot offer any other advice than what has already be given. and I know if it was me I would be very confused as you are now. all I can say is ask for all the facts and take your time before deciding after all it is Your Body and your decision.
Sending lots of {{{Hugs}}}}

rugbygirl

Hi Barbara

I cant offer any advice although it would be great if someone could wave a magic wand over us all.

Anyway I think the best thing to do is just take time, breathe, and relax. Follow DD's 1-10 and then make your decision. Dont just do it because they said so. Understand the facts and risks (there always are risks) then go from there. Dont be hasty and if possible try to speak to someone who has had the same procedure.

Look after yourself and have a huge (((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))

julie47

Barbara, no advice from me either cause this is your decision. I too am scared of operations so i can understand your dilema.

I just want to send you a hug (((((())))) and say I am right behind you.

Take care
Juliepf x

dachshund

Hi Barbara.
i'm sorry you have this problem but i know you will do the best for you.
i think you need to mage a double app at your doctors and talk it over with him till you get it straight in your mind what is right for you.
if you need both he should know what is the best one for you.
take care. joan xx

lindalegs

Hi Barbara,

What a dilemma for you, I'm sorry they've put you in this situation.

Could you ask for a second medical opinion?

You need time to get your head round this.

tillytop

Hello Barbara

I can't offer any wise words, but I am thinking of you and sending you love and (((()))s.

Tilly xxx

skezier

Hi Barbara,

its a bit of a shock for you to say the least but if it helps I had back surgery and it made so much difference tome.

The removed all the disc from L2 down, chipped away some bone growth and widened the spinal canal to take all the pressure off the spinal cord.

It was terrifying but in my case so was the consequences of not having it done. ( I was in my 20's and could face the op easier than what was a guaranteed alternative)

It was ok as op's go. I think it was 6 hours in surgery as I remember and they did a lot of work. My only thing that bugs me is the scar...... Its huge and jagged and it looks like the stitches were put in with a skewer....

That's my only criticism. I went in there hardly able to walk, in real pain and electric shocks all over the place and came out on m,y feet and walking. It was that good

So although its a shock it might be worth going for it flowwer. They would take very good care of you and you will be fine if you have it done. If you don't... well I have shift discs and they wont operate on me now and they really hurt but if they would remove them it would be so much better.

That's to try and say Barbabra that surgery can really help you and in my case they did such a good job its still holding over 20 years later, and I have abused it big time!

Yu hang in there and maybe call the consultants secretary to get the letter better explained and the reasons he is proposing this one cus the might help you to decide.

Love and a ((((( ))))) and a cuppa Cris xxx

barbara12

Can I just say a big thankyou to you all....I promise I have read all your post, and I am sorry for passing this on to you all of you.
I am under two NHS trust , and neither of them will talk to one another, one wants to operate on my back and my hip man says my hips are worn away but , he is not sure if the pain is coming from them.
I think the shock of them saying I need more surgery on top of what I haven't had yet has really shocked me.
I will be off the forum for a while, but I will be back with some answers ...I hope
Please take care of yourselves
Love
Barbara xxx

skezier

Hi Barbara,

Keep in touch with us please flowwer.... we would so miss you. More ((((( ))))) and hopes for you. Cris xxx

barbara12

Hi Cris., dont you go worrying about me, I will just take some time out, to contemplate things...
Thanks for being there.
Love and hugs back
Barbara xx

frogmorton

Hi Barbara

of curse you can ask for a second opinion....back pain can REALLY mimic hip pain though for sure. Hileena nearly had hip surgery which was cancelled due to it may be being her back - she might tell you more...

If the decision is to go ahead with the surgery then check how they are planning to do it....l know there are less invasive methods available these days. maybe even keyhole.

What l can say is l am here upright and a survivor of back surgery myself as is Cris and a few others too. If it is needed as keith said they don't do it unless they need to, we will be here with you.

Love and huge hugs

toni xx

suzygirl

Barbara, what a dilemma. (((hugs))) you really need to take time to think this through and get more info.

I was told I needed surgery on my back, but chickened out and went to a pain clinic instead. There is a bit of a debate as to what is actually causing my pain. Both surgeries are so major though, that you need to be sure.

Sending you plenty of calm and relaxing well wishes x

ironic

Hi Barbara,
Wow flower no wonder you are taken aback, I would be too. This certainly needs to be clarified for you.
I am so sorry that you have had such a shock and it very understandable that you want to know if the back is causing you the hip problem.
Take your time and get the information that you need. Maybe if you haven’t already done so a Private specialists appointment or a 2nd opinion would help?
Gentle hugs,
Lv, Ix

mp1952

Hi barbara

Gosh, you've had some shocks over the last few months! I can't really offer any advice, only to say that I do know people who have had back ops and they have really benefitted from them.

Tis a pity the two hospitals don't talk to each though!

Good idea to take some time out to contemplate ..

Take care

Marion x

skezier

Hi Barbara,

It takes a while to get your head round things and you must have the timeout you need but laving some ((((( ))))) in case you look in. Love Cris xx

dreamdaisy

I am thinking of you. DD