very low and tearful

constable

I know there are a lot of people on here that have a lot more problems than me but I just want to off load. Recently I cant stop crying feeling very low indeed. I have my 6 week post op on friday, that I am not looking too I still have swelling which keeps popping up, and I am getting awful pain from the knee down on the outside. Still cant sleep on my side which I am used to. But sitting and laying on my bed at bedtime is a challenge for me. Recently only getting about 3 hors sleep a nice, my back is hurting so much.

My husband is still far from right, he doesn't think the new implant is working for him, so he cant do much at all, between us everything is piling up and I cope with it. Beginning to wish I had never had this operation done.

I've kept leaving this because I couldn't see the keyboard to type, eldest daughter is still being bullyed at school and taking it out on us, in the morning more so on me so with the tiredness I'm crying in front of her.

I am sorry but I needed to do this.


Karen xx

daylily

Hello Karen,
I'm sorry you are feeling so low and things are piling up on you.
The 6 weeks 'sleeping' on my back was the worst aspect of the hip job- couldn't get comfy, hardly slept and yes it made me depressed and tearful.
Hang in there, the 6 week post op should have some good news for you, hopefully a bit of normality.
It sounds sooooo easy sleep on your back, but it's not it's horrible.
Take care and good luck for Friday.
xx

coco67

kAREN Im sorry you are going through this and feeling so low, lack of sleep does not help when it comes to coping with life, maybe they will find out why you are so sore on friday and be able to sort something out for you, im also sorry your daughter is being bullied, kids can be so cruel, have you been in touch with her school. i realy hope things pick up for you all soon and in the mean time, were here so off load all you need, hugs xx

julie47

Oh dear karen, you did right to write down your feelings. I hope it has helped a little. Sounds like your whole family are having a tough time. It must be hard for you.
I hope that when you have your post op on friday they can give you either advice or meds to help with your discomfort. Lack of sleep will not be helping matters either.
Is it still early days at 6 weeks? sorry I don't know what the recovery time is estimated. Perhaps you just need a little more time, and in a few more weeks you will be glad you had the op.

I hope your husband can get sorted too and as for your daughter being bullied, do the teachers know and are they helping?. I feel so sorry for her (and you) please give a her a cuddle from me and I hope the bullying stops.

Take care
Hugs (((())) to you too
love juliepf x

Ria

Karen,

I haven't had any surgery yet so can't comment on that, but a year or so ago my daughter was in an abusive relationship and basically used me as an emotional battering ram. I know they can't help it but i think all the stress may have contributed to my recent flare up. I think, if you have reported it to the school and done all you can then just try to be there for her even if she's being hurtful. It's really hard, I know, people say that kids hit out at the one's they love most and know we have unconditional love for them....although at times they push it!!!
Hang on in there.... and for the record I used to break down in front of her because sometimes I felt I couldn't take any more abuse. it's well known that kids being bullied then bully us!! Let her see how much she's hurting you too, after all yr only human.
Good luck and lots of best wishes

prefabkid47

Hi Karen
Sorry that you are so down at the moment.As to sleeping on your back,you are so right it's very uncomfortable (having to do so at the moment since have to keep my legs elevated).
It might not seem so at the moment but guarantee having the knee op was the right decision.Six weeks post op is no time at all considering what you have had done.
Also sorry OH is not too well,but if you both support each other (as I'm sure you do),problems never seem quite so bad.
I'm sure things will sort themselves out,they always do.
Thinking of you.
Ron xx

dreamdaisy

You have had major surgery Karen, it takes a while to get over. The impression given by surgeons etc is 'We'll do this and you'll be running around in no time.' Not true. They 'do' you, wash their hands and move onto the next patient - what they actually mean is 'We'll do this then we'll be running around in no time. You, meanwhile, will still be recovering.'

You are only six weeks post-op and you had a very rough time in thre early stages. The benefits of such a major procedure take a while to come through, months even. You do what you can to keep on top of things and if you can't, no matter. Chores will always be there, perhaps friends or family could help more than they are. You still need to be resting and recuperating, I think your expectations on how things would be were far too high and the reality is very distressing. You were inadequtely prepared for this on all fronts, I think your docs etc have really let you down. It took months for me to recover from my first synovectomy: OK, it was a big op but not in the league of a joint replacement.

I hope your six week check-up goes well and that they are pleased with the progress you have made. If they are not point out that it's their fault, not yours, you have had problems with leakage etc and you were not given anywhere near enough information about how to cope and what to expect. Be politely belligerent if needs be! I wish you well. DD

hileena111

Hi
I found the 6 weeks after my hip operation the worse bit of it.
No sleep at all {hardly} and it really does pull you down. Make your list before you go to see him and make sure you tell him everything.....its so easy to forget things when you are there.
I'm due my 12 month check up {except its 16 months now :roll: } on Friday.
Lack of sleep is the worse thing.....you can cope with most things if you have a decent nights sleep.
Why are you not sleeping....can you not get to sleep? Are you waking up with pain?
Dont forget the relaxation tecniques and distraction tecniques......at night pain can be bad ....nothing to distract you.
Love
Hileena

constable

Daylily,Coco,Julie,Ria,Ron,DD,Hileena,

Thanks for your replies, I will get back on top, maybe speak to my doctor about sleeping tabs, just for a while, as said just cant pick myself up at moment.

Karen xx

roses1

Hi Karen,

So Sorry to hear you feel so down, Just wanted to send you some (((((((hugs)))))) i have not had experience of an op so no help with that. We all get really down at times and i have been so very low and in tears so much it just wouldnt stop. It will get easier! Please be kind to your self just accept that jobs that need to be done sometimes cant be they will have to wait. In other words **** the house work it will wait until you are more able, i know it is very frustrating but if you and your hubby are not well it will just have to wait , it is important to get better! If you ease your stress you will sleep better.

How old is your daughter and what are the school doing to help? It will soon be sumer holidays and you will be able to relax more which in turn will help with recovery. I hope i have been some help and i have been bullied at school so if you want to pm me dont hesitate!

This is what we are all here for offload as much as you like! ((((hugs))))
Take care
Rose x

stickywicket

You are being beseiged on all fronts right now, aren't you? I feel very sorry for your daughter and for your husband but, if you don't make yourself your first priority right now, you won't be much help to them.

Post op sleeping on your back is - pardon the pun - a nightmare. I hate it. Not only do I not sleep well on my back but loads of other niggles kick in too. It just has to be endured, I'm afraid. Big op: long recuperation period. The surgeon does his bit but then it's up to us to make these implants work and trying to get too much out of them too early is a recipe for disaster.

Don't fear the 6 week appointment, Constable. It's here where they can help to get you back on course. Just tell it how it really is, how you really feel and what you've been trying to do. If everyone concerned can work together on this it'll be much better for you.

Hope it goes well.

bubbadog

Karen, You are very brave to open your heart and type it all down, I hope it gave you some relief. Obviously the upset is abit of everything, and it's built and built and it's all overflowed like a dam. With your Daughter all you can do is be their for her and she will open upto you when she is ready. I Hope you start to feel better with everything soon, and you know we are all here for you. Amanda/bubbadog.

traluvie

Hi Karen..

Just wanted to send you big hugs ((((((X))))))..
Hope you feel better soon ..
Sorry for short message.. am thinking of you though and i hope things ease up a bit soon.. were all here to help if we can..xx

dachshund

Hi Karen
i'm sorry when you cant sleep everything gets on top of you and all the worries come out and your head goes round and round .
i know what its like to lie on your back not good when i had my thr i turned over in the middle of the night i didnot know till i woke up.
try not to worry things will sort themselves out.
take care joan xx

jojo03

Hi Karen

I had my knee replacement the day after you had your hip, so time-wise, I'm at the same stage as you - although my first appointment is at 8 weeks, not 6.

I've had so many of the same feelings as you, I've been in tears, and wondered if I should have had it done. It's hard to voice that feeling though when everyone is telling you how wonderful it will be afterwards! What you don't realise is that the first few weeks are very hard, you're just not prepared for it, and even now I keep wondering why I'm not more mobile yet, why I'm still using crutches, why I've still got swelling, why I still can't sleep or just sit comfortably. I feel like I'm crawling towards recovery, when I thought I'd be running towards it.

It doesn't help when there are other factors going on in your life. I've come to realise that some depression is normal after the op, and we have to accept the bad days and trust that our minds and bodies will pull us through it.

Best wishes to you, I really hope you feel better soon.

Jo x.

liesa

Hi Karen
been there bought the cap and the t.shirt etc...

i had a total replacement knee 4 years ago next week, worst thing i ever done, still painful, and kind of been left to just get on with it, i take maximum dose amytriptiline at night time and since then i sleep much better, also invested a few weeks ago in a memory foam matress topper, heavenly, so soft and comfy, nights are better but not 100%

bullying at school, 2 years ago my daughter was bullied by her old best friend, a girl she had been best friends with all through primary school, the girl we took away on our family holiday to florida and paid for her to swim with the dolphins, yes that same girl had my daughter destroyed!! my daughter was absolutely beside herself one day, snitchy bit** told me my daughter was smoking and stealing drink from my home, the drink was a lie but she was getting strangers to buy alcahol and cigarettes to keep up with the bullies, my daughter then sent me a soaking wet with tears stained letter telling me and her dad she felt like suicide was the only option to get away from them.... we were absolutely beside ourselves.. we called the school for help and the one person who shouldve been there for my daughter was rude to me on the phone and hung up, i felt the school was completely ignorant of my daughters problems, i was then told by friends to write to the chair of Governors.... well that made them wake up!!!!
so you try them... your daughter is taking out on you cos she doesnt know what way to turn to, if she will listen to reason, (have brought up my own 6 kids as teenagers so i know theyre far from easy when upset, they put a big front on it) contact the chair of governors they have to help you as the school HAS to answer to them!!

ask your Dr for amytriptiline, they interfere with signals to the brain regarding pain signals.... i so hope you get it sorted

i know i dont know you but think you can see there are many of us who you can turn to for a chat to get it off your chest, sometimes this alone helps greatly
goodluck xxxxxxxxx

constable

Rose, Stickywicket,Amanda, Traluvie,JoanJoe and Liesa

Thanks to you too, I am going to the doctors tomorrow, we can ring 8.30 in morn for an appointment that day. See if I can get something to make me sleep. Thanks to all of you, I do really appretiate it.

Karen xx

Turbogran

Oh Karen I'm so Sorry you are feeling so low at the moment I feel for you It's not nice is it?. Have not had surgery on knees but have a friend who has had Tkr and she was the same as you describe. its good you are going to the Doctor maybe she can set your mind at rest. also hopefully they can tell you more at the hospital it's the unknown that get's to us. On the matter of your daughter as has been said they always seem to pick on the one's they love and know they love them in return to vent thier frustration on. I would speak to the school and above all let your daughter know that she can talk to you about it without her getting at you. This comes from someone who's 2 daughters and grandson suffered bullying at school feel free to Pm me if you want.
Take care

tkachev

Sorry Karen I have only just seen this. I don't think I can offer any good advice apart from don't sleep on your side. i had to sleep with a pillow between my legs for at least 6 weeks to prevent crossing them and I'm sure it is 12 weeks before you can attempt to cross legs due to the possiblility of displacing the hip. As it is more likely to happen accidently if you sleep on your side.
I am sorry your daughter has issues at school. I must say it is a horrible situation for her to be in. As she likes one aspect of clothing she will always get comments from those that dress in an other fashion.We have the same problems in our area so each group sticks together. Some schools are not very good at dealing with this problem and don't like to get involved. The stress is probably not helping you.

At your 6 week check I hope you feel able to tell them how you feel.
Sorry I'm not always around to chat due to children hogging the laptop but I will try and be there for you.Feel free to message.
Elizabeth

frogmorton

Hi Karen

i am so sorry.

you sound pretty poorly and down at the moment.

l am glad you have your 6 week check just now - l am convinced they are set for 6 weeks as it takes at least that long to even start getting over the ops.

If things are not right they need to know.

As for your daughter....l wish l had a wand to wave, but having three teenagers at home (all girls :shock: ),l can at least sympathise with you.

anything l can do please let me know

Love

toni xx

woodbon

hello I'm sorry your so down. Sounds like a lot on your plate and its hard for you to see your daughter bullied.

I've not had the sort of surgery you've had, but I have had a fair few things done! It does take a longish time to feel back to normal and its quite usual to be depressed afterwards. Six weeks is still early days, I think. Hope you soon feel better. lots of love Suexxx

traluvie

Hope your trip to doctors goes well tomorrow...

Let us know how you get on..

constable

Carol,Toni,Sue and Traluvie

Thankyou for your replies, it's very much appreciated. Doctors today at 10.45, so Hubby will run me up there.

Re my daughter we've been up and up to the school, even withheld her and her sister, till we were listened to, but they don't want to know. So she knows she can off-load to her dad, but it is still hard going.

Karen xx

coco67

good luck at the drs today karen, as for your daughter try doing what i did, i wrote to the board of governors listing times and details of bullying and details of my contact with the school and on the bottom of my letter i put ........a copy of this letter has also gone to................(name of local mp)

i did send them a copy and got a good response, might be worth a try. i hope it gets sorted out as being bullied is awful .

hileena111

Hi Karen,
You're probably getting sorted out ready to go to the docs now....Good Luck and make sure you tell him everying.......think of i as telling us
Let us know what happens when you get time

Love
Hileena

valval

the doc is not a mind reader and if you do not tell them they will not know so even if you do not feel it important tell them good luck val