Whats happening lately

mig · 11. Oct 2011, 06:50

I dont understand whats going on these days,sounds like there is some sort of cyber bulling on,it shouldnt happen on a site like this,we are all affected by this arthur in one form or another we should be pulling together not apart.It must be stopped.Mig

valval · 11. Oct 2011, 06:56

it sounds as though it taking place else where but this is a place of help and any one not wishing to help others and suport each other should not cause problems .any one is welcome ok we all have a bad day from time to time and post with out thinking but on the whole it a lovely place to be and the mods do great work val

angie1973 · 11. Oct 2011, 08:36

I've seen this too often on forums. The problem is for a lot of new people, is that when you join there are always going to be members who are already well established and have a bond because they know each other well.

So the newbies often feel a bit alienated and when they try and 'join in' sometimes they might feel a bit of an outsider.

It's not to say people on here don't make everyone feel really welcome, but there is a core group who are regulars and some people can feel threatened by it.

So those odd few who take offence or even some who have been here a long time but don't feel part of what they see as a clique can get ruffled and start trouble.

It's happened a lot, and people move on, get banned, start somewhere else.

It's so easy to hide behind a keyboard and monitor. It's a shame like you said, because it's a good site, with good people, and good moderators. I do the same thing myself on a site, and the nasties I have dealt with have been shocking.

Eventually though, the bad eggs leave and find elsewhere and the people who want to be on here to support each other will be.

tkachev · 11. Oct 2011, 08:57

a very nasty message was sent to an ex member of AC see Constables thread. It was totally unprovoked. The other forum was set up by some AC members. I joined because I wanted a different style of chat as is my right. This message accused members of that forum of spying on AC. There were also very nasty comments made to a member of the other forum mocking him and on a day he had attended a funeral.

Nuff said!

Elizabeth

elnafinn · 11. Oct 2011, 09:25

mig wrote:

I dont understand whats going on these days,sounds like there is some sort of cyber bulling on,it shouldnt happen on a site like this,we are all affected by this arthur in one form or another we should be pulling together not apart.It must be stopped.Mig

I don't know what exactly is brewing at the moment, Mig, but it is not the first time and unfortunately will not be the last.

The launch date of this forum was in June 2006. I joined sometime in early 2007 if I remember correctly. I have seen many changes over that time, some good, some not so good, in my humble opinion and also many regulars come and go, for whatever reason.

I use this forum to help, support and comfort others and when I have needed the same I have asked and have always been overwhelmed by the response. There have been blips on the forum, more lately than there were at the beginning, but that is probably because the forum is much larger and there are now more zones. I have never felt that I should leave (I have kept away from certain members and some threads when seeing which way they are going). I have never been in a cliche, I flit around.

We all use the forum for different reasons, that is evident, but no other forum member(s) will stop me from taking part on here.

Elna x

cloud9 · 11. Oct 2011, 09:48

Well said Elna. As my OH always says, "keep the moral high ground". I don't get drawn in on touchy subjects and, even if I have an opinion, I keep it to myself. I have received phenomenal support from these forums and truly appreciate it. I'm another one who will not be pushed away.

elnafinn · 11. Oct 2011, 09:55

Thank you Sue. That makes two of us.

Elna x

tjt6768 · 11. Oct 2011, 10:00

well said Elna. I wouldn't let anyone else's opinion stop me posting what I want nor would I leave. I don't see myself in any kind of clique either.. I am more than willing to help shriner who asks for it if I can regardless of who it is. I think newbies are made extremely welcome..
I don't think it's right to even hint that new folks aren't made welcome and allowed/encouraged to join in..
I think we get how annoyed you are Elizabeth but please don't give the wrong impression to anyone new reading..

angel1 · 11. Oct 2011, 10:06

Very little is solved by brushing it under the carpet. There HAS been bullying on this Forum, by a very small minority, for many months.

Some people decided they wanted no further part in it, and a new Forum was created, which left them feeling safer. This was all shattered yesterday, when the vicious message - posted elsewhere - was left.

THIS is the person who should be being taken to task. The perpetrator, not the victim. However, because the person is a coward, as well as a bully, it was an annonymous message. Surely,this is the sort of person the AC Forum does not need?

Like Elna, I will post as and when I feel the need to support old friends. The rest, sadly is long gone, for me.

tkachev · 11. Oct 2011, 10:08

Sorry Tony I'm angry because friends feel they have to leave.

Elizabeth

tjt6768 · 11. Oct 2011, 10:19

I know E.
I'm just trying to think if the newbies and their impression of ac. Sounds like the main issue was on another forum to me. If anyone has proof of the alleged ac member that had posted the mentioned post then they should pm then first, get their side of things before causing all this chaos in public. Just my opinion..

Sorry if I disappear, not being rude, signal rubbish and still no sign of bt :roll:

elnafinn · 11. Oct 2011, 10:30

No one should feel they have to leave. That is totally wrong.

Jean123 and the moderators should be informed with facts by as many people as possible who wish it to be sorted out. The more members that report what they know the quicker something may be done about it.

We as members on the forum do not have the authority to do that, however many threads we keep starting on the subject. Those in charge of the forum are the only ones that can deal with it. Help them to help us.

We have the PM system where we can get in touch with other members to chat privately to them about sensitive issues ie bullying, rather than on the open forum where those that are unaware of the facts cannot really make helpful contributions on those threads to help solve the problem.

Elna x

tjt6768 · 11. Oct 2011, 10:39

Has the edit button gone again? :shock:
I keep notice words in my posts that don't quite make sense thanks to predictive text, lol.. Can't fix em now though

Edit firmly back where it belongs

tkachev · 11. Oct 2011, 10:43

Thanks Elna . I lost faith in the mods a long time ago but it may be the only way.

Elizabeth

elnafinn · 11. Oct 2011, 10:54

Dear Elizabeth,

That is the only way forward that I can see.

I do not know what is going on, but I am sorry that you do and you obviously feel very strongly about it all. I hope that today's happenings did not ruin your gymnastics viewing because you sounded so cheerful when you told us what you were going to do.

Love
Elna x

tkachev · 11. Oct 2011, 11:11

Hi Elna,

Thanks i managed to see the live but was put off watching the highlights afterwards as I logged online and saw what was happening. Oh well.

Elina

Ankyspond · 11. Oct 2011, 11:32

I had issue at the weekend with someone and it did upset me, I tried to smooth it over but the person would not stop posting. Lots of people jumped into support me and then the moderator froze the post (rightly so) I appreciated the support but didn't want to cause anymore problems for anyone. I then asked the moderator to remove the post which she did, this silly behaviour is pointless, if you don't agree with a post you have two options either don't comment or state your opinion but don't be rude.

I considered leaving but the support I got from others made me realise that the other person would have won had I left, cyber bullying is a terrible thing but the same as any bullying only done by cowards, even more so when they can hide behind a screen in cyberspace. Xxx.

elnafinn · 11. Oct 2011, 11:36

Hugs to you, Anky.
Elna x

Ankyspond · 11. Oct 2011, 11:42

Thank you, much appreciated. X

elnafinn wrote:

Hugs to you, Anky.
Elna x

traluvie · 11. Oct 2011, 11:43

I must be totally oblivious to it all as i have not seen anything really, and i thought i was a regular

The thing is the forum is a place to chat and talk about arhtur amongst other things..people are entitled to their own opinion aslong as they are not offending the other person..
If someone doesn't like something someone said then either don't comment and ignore it, pm the person directly to sort it out discreetly, or report it..
Why post it for all to see and to scare off new members.. don't think it is right..
I don't want anyone to go due to bullying.. it is not on.. but if people are bullying then don't let them win..rise above them and carry on
Thats me, said what i wanted to say..will say no more on the subject..
if i have offended anyone pls pm me

stickywicket · 11. Oct 2011, 13:37

Crikey! I've been away most of the day and feel as if I've unwittingly stepped into a tornado. All I know for certain is:

1. The Mods are here to police the AC forums.

2. The Mods are not here to police other forums.

3. The Mods are not here to police AC members on other forums.

Or am I wrong?

constable · 11. Oct 2011, 13:38

Hello Mr Webmanager

I have now sent you a pm, please read.

karen xx

traluvie · 11. Oct 2011, 15:49

Have pm'd webmanager..

mellman01 · 11. Oct 2011, 16:06

Is it a full moon???.

valval · 11. Oct 2011, 16:24

mellman01 wrote:

Is it a full moon???.

have you gone all hairy ???? if so yes it is val

cacyhi · 11. Oct 2011, 16:32

As you know I am new to the Forums and only joined last week. I was overwhelmed with the support I received from people on just that first day.

I have never used an on-line forum of any sort before and although I joined initially in search of information, I was knocked out by the support and compassion that just seemed to radiate out of the computer at me....
therefore I am completely astounded that people are experiencing bullying here. I cant understand why people would want to do that.

As a newbie I can clearly see how well some of you know each other (its the same whenever you "join after the party has started") and I realise that I am living with a different kind of experience of "arthur" (as you all call it ) than many of you are. I am hoping to get to know you all better and have tried to join in if I have something to contribute. I still lilke reading about how you are all getting on. I think I have an idea of what Ankys thread was about the other day and it did seem to me that someone was not being supportive so I dont know why they would want to post anyway? Cant see the point ... Isnt there enough s**t in the real world already. I would say a forum was for support ,friendship and info/experience sharing - if you want anything else - why would you be on here ?????

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