Have you ever seen anyone dead before?

lindalegs

Jilly it must be unbearable to lose your child, no matter that he was an adult, he was still your boy.

I am touched by everyone's response to such an emotive subject, most of us have some very sad memories from dear ones who have been in our lives.

This should not be a taboo subject because death is part of all our lives.

I have another friend, now, who is dying of cancer. I visit when I can but it is so sad to see him wasting away, although I do hide my sorrow when I'm with him. We must cherish those around us because we don't know how long we'll have them for.

Luv,

valval

to be honest i think visits and flowers should be for when people are able to enjoy them spending loads on flowers just to out do others is shallow a bunch of flowers from garden for them to enjoy is worth all the money in the world what we give we will receive.
it must be so hard to visit some one who is ill but the gift of your time must be appreciated even if it so hard for you keep up the good work a visit from a friend can mean so much val

Poppyg1rl

I agree with you Val, time spent with your loved ones is the most important thing.
Ive hesitated over posting this, not sure why, but i read Elizabeths post about her sisters baby, and it triggered thoughts about my loss, my firstborn a daughter called Grace was stillborn.
I was very seriously ill after the birth, and in shock, its all such a blur, but i had a little while to hold her and she was beautiful, she looked as if she was sleeping. The pain of losing her has eased with time, although i liken it to having a deep scar on your heart that might heal, but never goes completely. Xxx

liesa

different but interesting subject...

i have seen many dead and i know its not them in the box...


my mum in law was such a lovely woman, and it was such a shock when she died as she hadnt been ill, she felt tired this particular day and bit sick, i took pa in law to look at a car we were hoping to buy from a friend we wanted t see the engine as it was to dark when hubby came home later... no mobile phones 18 years ago... when i pulled up outside the house my 14 year old son wh had been at his mates house was hysterical in the street saying they couldnt wake nanny... we had left Kerrie who was 11 at the time with nanny as they had a 4 month old puppy who was entertaining kerrie... kerrie was brokenhearted... she tried to sit nanny up, she tried opening her eyes... etc etc... she called her brothers friends house and son ran up to kerrie.. bless them they called an ambulance.. they couldnt do anything but took nanny to hospital, i think because of our hysteria, no one got in the back with her, she was in a chair.... i thought it would help us to see nanny laid to rest and peaceful weeks later b4 her funeral.... big mistake.. the lovely warm person who had done so much for me and my kids was gone and all we got in return was a cold dead body.. an empty shell.... as nasty an experience as it was it left us believing that nanny had gone to heaven and this was just her earlthy body... my mum passed away 2 years later also unexpectedly... mum especiially asked (she had cancer for over 20 years and would only accept radiotherapy into the 10th year (she had worked in a very well known cancer home in our town during the 60'70's and 80's) well after 20 years she became ill with a cold turned chest infection her belief was she was n borrowed time because she had been healthy all that time that the cancer mustve spread to her lungs she had breast cancer....... anyways it turned out her death was due to a dvt which brooke off and went to her heart causing massive fatal heart attack, i sorted along with my sister everything for mum as dad just couldnt talk about it, my eldest son asked if he could say goodbye to mum and i aggreed and went with him he was 16, it was horrible, mum looked like one of those new dollies we had when growing up that had a plastic bag on their head sticking the hair close to it... i wish i never saw my mum... now i go to mums graveside thats all i can remember....

we have had 2 friends that had been murdered 1 we didnt see but the other had spent his last christmas with us and 9 days before he had been in our home so happy... long story but wont go into.... he had been out with his dog on that night when a man he knew jumped him from behind and slit his throat.... the man responsible was army trained and our friend was a black belt in karate... he killed him in the street in cold blooded murder, when it was possible we went to the mortuary to see him.... his leg was stuck bent and bandages around his throat... he was covered in a velvet blanket but we could still see... i went to walk around him to move to hubbys side when i saw pm marks on his head.... why hadnt i thought of that possibliity??? he was bald.. lol like hubby but shaved ... now thats the image stuck in my head....

i now say i wanna remember the laughter the smiles the hugs the good times... not those of someone who u care for lying cold.. its not them they have flown their early body and i like to think watching over us....

sorry if i have upset anyone if u have got this far xxx

lindalegs

Liesa, you certainly haven't upset me and thank you for sharing those experiences with us but they are very sad. I'm so sorry they were such awful experiences.

Poppy all I can say is I'm very sorry that you lost your baby girl, I'm so pleased you got to cuddle your little one.

Love to you all.

resusjan

Hi,

I've seen a few because I'm a nurse and I have taken relatives into the room to see their loved ones, some find it therapeutic as their loved one looks peaceful and painfree and others don't find it helps them with the grieving process at all.

From a personal point of view, my mum died after a very short illness 3 years ago, I was in the hospital with her for 24 hours a day during the 7 days she was in hospital, looking after her and telling her how much I loved her etc. etc.

On the day she died, I left the room for 10 minutes and she passed away while I was out. I really don't think she wanted me to see her die. I went back in afterwards and sat with her for a while, talking to her and found it did give me some peace to see her looking painfree for the first time in days.

I think everyone has different views and, as a nurse and having being personally affected, I wouldn't think twice about someones decision to either see their loved one or not.

P.S. its her birthday today - she would have been 72

applerose

(((hugs))) Resusjan. I hope you have been thinking about happy memories today. I lost my mum just over a year ago so I know how painful special days can be.

lindalegs

As an ex-soldier Len I would think you've not had good experiences.

Thinking of you both Applerose and Resusjan.

Luv,

frogmorton

Dear Legs

I am so glad you started this thread.

I have read the replies - all of them and bawled my eyes out :oops:

I feel like I know some of the people on here more now. Whar sad experiences we have all been through

I have seen a few people who were dead including my own Mum and Dad (at the hospital at the time). I went to the chapel of rest for the first my Dad, Legs for the same reason as you did your dear Friend, because l knew he would look smart and l couldn't let him be there waiting for us/me.

Ah well.

It's about the only thing we can guarantee in life isn't it so talking about it is a good idea.

Thanks Legs

Love

Toni xxx

lindalegs

It is a real privilege to read such personal stories. It makes me realise that we're not alone in our grieving.

Luv,

skezier

Legs just leaving you a ((((( ))))) and no your not ever alone. Cris xxx