Ungrateful adult children

JuliaHod12
JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
edited 16. Apr 2012, 17:25 in Community Chit-chat archive
Since when was it good manners to leave a present with the giver because it wasn't the exact thing you wanted? :-(

I bought a handbag organiser for my daughter cos it's what she wanted(you use it to transfer contents from handbag to handbag). I wasnt told there was a specific type she wanted, so i scoured t'internet and bought what i thought was suitable.
I gave it to her this morning..............only to be informed there are better ones in a local store (she knows i have difficulty getting about) or on QVC.
The present is now on my living room table and she has buggered off!

:-(
«1

Comments

  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have never heard of a handbag organizer sounds brilliant :D

    I am shocked to read that your daughter had to tell you that there are better ones around and actually left without taking your gift.
    She should have been pleased that you made such an effort searching the web to try and surprise her. Searching the web is hard work and takes up a lot of time. I can imagine how hurt you feel.

    Sending you a hug ((((()))))) and I hope you can make use of it. :)

    love juliepf x
  • georgie66
    georgie66 Member Posts: 403
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ahh julie sorry to here that.sending you a big hug as i know you must be hurting.
    she has dipped out a lovely present her loss try not to dwell on it
    huggs georgie
  • katknapp
    katknapp Member Posts: 709
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The first thought i had when i read your post was how that must have hurt you,after all the time and effort you put into the gift,well i hope you find a more grateful candidate for the organiser,and really dont waste your efforts again on her,i know how you feel my middle child(well hes 21) is just the same,so ungrateful,my son accepts the gift....but sells it! :cry:
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a cruel , hurtful way to behave ; I'd be in bits . Sending hugs aplenty . Jillyb
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,267
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well I know what I would do or say...but it will be unprintable....you find someone that would like the gift and give it then or better still keep it yourself....and you know what to do next time.. :shock:
  • barking1
    barking1 Member Posts: 185
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Julia
    that is so ungratefull i think if it was one of mine they would get it back for christmas with nothing else sending a hug (((((()))))) some people just arnt gratefull, doesnt seem to matter how much effort you put in xx Jane
  • resusjan
    resusjan Member Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thats terrible,

    My sister did that to me once, I bought her a lovely clock for her living room one christmas, she said it wasn't what she wanted and that it wouldn't suit her house - its now in my living room.

    Can't beleive your daughter would do that though - I'd be gutted if my daughter did that to me.

    (((((()))))))
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aw Julia

    My heart goes out to you. How old is your daughter may I ask? Do you normally have a good relationship with her? If so, it may have been a bad day for her, whatever it was, it was well out of order. All I can say is that as she matures she will come to realise what a great mum she has.

    Hugs to you,
    Elna x
  • JuliaHod12
    JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks guys............I was lost for words so said nothing whils ehe was here and now feel just very sad!

    Elna......she's 31...........sho should know better!
    There's 2 things bugging me about it really.......

    a) she was asked last week if she'd rather have cash...........
    b) she didnt even say sorry Mum its not quite what i wanted......would you mind if i returned it and got what i do want?

    As most of you know and appreciate, getting out and about is not always easy, so I did my best!
  • RosieGlow
    RosieGlow Member Posts: 175
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So hurtful Julia. My mum always said that the young ones get things far too easily.

    I have bought some beautiful presents for my daughter-in-law, but never seen her wearing or using a single one. It breaks my heart, as I put so much thought into everything. For her last birthday, I gave her an exquisite pair of tiny earrings, gold with her birthstone. She gave them back to me saying that perhaps I would like to wear them, as they "didn`t work for her". She`ll get a gift voucher from now on......if she`s lucky!.......Rosie.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    JuliaHod12 wrote:
    thanks guys............I was lost for words so said nothing whils ehe was here and now feel just very sad!

    Elna......she's 31...........sho should know better!
    There's 2 things bugging me about it really.......

    a) she was asked last week if she'd rather have cash...........
    b) she didnt even say sorry Mum its not quite what i wanted......would you mind if i returned it and got what i do want?

    As most of you know and appreciate, getting out and about is not always easy, so I did my best!

    Aw, Julia, I so feel for you. Yes, at 31 she should/does definitely know better. Oh there were so many ways in which she could have turned this all around so that it would have been ok. I am wondering whether she may be regretting how she handled this. I sincerely hope so. I get the impression that this is not how she usually behaves, if I am right, something may not be going to well in her life at the moment? Whatever, happened today, it should never have done so. I received a couple of pretty gross pressies, both for my 50th birthday when I had a big bash and we treated family, extended family and friends to an expensive meal with wine and so on. I was really surprised by the person(s) who gave them, but would never, ever say anything. Every now and again hubby and I refer to the presents and I can laugh about it now.

    Big hugs to you,

    Love
    Elna x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,267
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Julia. like Elna I really do feel for you, especially has you put so much into the gift... I would try and talk to her and say how hurtful it was...otherwise it could cause a rift between you and that would be awful..because I am sure she loves you..I do hope you work it out x
  • katknapp
    katknapp Member Posts: 709
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Julia. like Elna I really do feel for you, especially has you put so much into the gift... I would try and talk to her and say how hurtful it was...otherwise it could cause a rift between you and that would be awful..because I am sure she loves you..I do hope you work it out x

    I totally agree,tell her how hurt you were,maybe she didnt realise she came acrross that way,it might do her good to be pulled up over it anyway make her think first in the futurexx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I only give my older children cheques so they choose what they want. If they have something specific in mind I get them to send me the link so I can buy it online.

    I could not bare to be treated as you have been!

    E x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Julia

    My humble advice would be to wait a little to give your daughter a chance to realise the errors of her ways and to contact you with an apology. If not, I agree, you really should have a word with her because this is no way to treat you. I hope it all gets ironed out between you both, although I do not expect you will forget it in a hurry.

    Gentle hugs
    Elna x
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    my first thought was she needs a smack how selfish i get bath stuff of my sister in law every year for christmas and although they not what i would use i would never insult her by saying so mind you when she got me a jumper with a masive flower on one boob did have to ask if it could be changed made one look masive and they not sinking violets any way. both my sons behave much better than that mind you they know they would get nothing nexy time i do not use handbags and so did not even know there was such a thing if you can not use it or return it then save it for her christmas box you can keep giving it to her till she gets the massage you never look a gift horse in the mouth.
    well i think you did well to find one you put so much effort in you must feel awfull but it her problem not yours so get a mug of tea put your feet up and do something nice for you ((())) take care val
  • JuliaHod12
    JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for all the replies guys..........i did think i had maybe over reacted, but clearly i haven't!

    I actually stopped myself struggling into town to replace the organiser with the one she wanted (expected!) I was all dressed, ready to go and was about to book a taxi.....then a little voicein my head said...."stop this you silly woman"..! ;-)

    Anyway,the organiser has gone to a new home and my friend Cathy is delighted with an unexpected gift!
    My daughter's loss.........and next time she will get a bloody voucher! :-)

    I won't be replacing the present this time either........she had her opportunity to accept it with good grace .....but chose not to........soit's her loss!

    Julia x
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    h020.gif


    (I hope this smilie works)

    Good for you :D and I an so pleased that your friend loved it.

    Love Juliepf xx
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    yes the smilie worked lol
  • JuliaHod12
    JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Julie
    Yep.............the smile worked.......how do you do those? :-)

    My friend was really chuffed as she'd wanted one for a while!

    My conscience is clear!

    Julia x
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Julia

    http://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php?wahl=0&ziel=froehlich

    Hopefully If I have done this right. :roll: Click on to the website above

    Look through the list of pictures and L click on the one you want.
    Then you will see at the bottom of the page a code coloured in blue
    R Click on the blue code and press the copy option
    Come back into Arthritis Care and paste on to your message

    Hey presto should be there
    k005.gif


    Julie xx
  • JuliaHod12
    JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    e035.gif

    did it work?
  • JuliaHod12
    JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    yay!

    thanks Julie x
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes..... :D it did :D


    k015.gif
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    JuliaHod12 wrote:
    Thanks for all the replies guys..........i did think i had maybe over reacted, but clearly i haven't!

    I actually stopped myself struggling into town to replace the organiser with the one she wanted (expected!) I was all dressed, ready to go and was about to book a taxi.....then a little voicein my head said...."stop this you silly woman"..! ;-)

    Anyway,the organiser has gone to a new home and my friend Cathy is delighted with an unexpected gift!
    My daughter's loss.........and next time she will get a bloody voucher! :-)

    I won't be replacing the present this time either........she had her opportunity to accept it with good grace .....but chose not to........soit's her loss!

    Julia x

    Good for you.

    I'm not a great fan of potted plants and went through a stage of getting them all the time but accepted them with a smile and thanks(after all -the intention wasn't to p me off but was chosen with love). In the end I had to ask OH to drop a few hints about lack of space or give suggestions for other gifts. I did feel a bit guilty!

    E

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