mums with arthritis?

dizzybizzum

Hi
I'm a 31 year old new mum who has just been diagnosed with arthritis and am waiting to go onto Methotrexate
Am looking for any (young) mums who have dealt with this situation from some advice and support.
Thanks

valval

hi welcome i do not fall into the group you are looking for (51 with grown lads) but we have a few who will be along good luck val

dizzybizzum

Thanks Val
Everythings well up in the air just now and my heads pretty bombarded with info etc! I think if it hadn't been for my little girl, I'd be a wreck in the corner, its a lot to get ur head around xx

stickywicket

Just bumping this up in the hope that some of our young Mums will see it. And this might help http://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/LivingwithArthritis/Parentingwitharthritis/Babies

L1985

Hi hun

Im a young mum (27) with arthritis. It started when I was 25. I have two kids a 6 year old daughter and a son who will be 2 in September

Im currently waiting results of some recent blood tests to see if I have Lupus. Doctors originally thought I had Behcets but apparently my symptoms dont fall neatly into either box. They started to treat me like I had Behcets and it didnt help at all so now treating me as if its Lupus to see if those tablets help.

Which arthritis do you have? How long have you been diagnosed? How old are your children?

Id really love to talk to other mums going through the same/similar as some times feel very alone as other people without arthritis dont understand.

Lulu xxx

Harlansmummy

Hi

I am 26 and have a 3 year old son. I feel similarly to you that if I didn't have my son I would just curl up in a corner and cry! My pain started while pregnant with him.

Nice to 'meet' you

frogmorton

So many Mums get inflammatory type arthritises when or just after they are pregnant!

I think, they think, it is a hormone thing.

My kids are teenagers now, so not much help, other than to say they do grow up and get easier. I had back surgery as a single Mum with a 5 and an 8 year-old and vividly remember feeling a useless mum.....micro-meals and too much TV. They do seem to have survived though none the worse for it!

All being well the MTX will do the job for you. My fingers are crossed.

In the meantime you enjoy that baby as much as you can....rest with him/her when you can.

Love and hugs

Toni xx

L1985

Kids are defiantly a good reason to get out of bed

Toni is right things do get easier as they grow.

I have found I have to plan things more then when my daughter was younger and I didnt have arthritis. For example I spread out the housework over the week rather then try do it all in one go.

Also have a toy box hidden away for days when im not feeling my best and those toys come out and my son will sit and play with them happily, then they go away until needed another time so that they remain 'new and exciting' to him.

dizzybizzum

Thank you all so much for your posts, everythime I get a reply I tear up!!! Its been such a hard few weeks delaing with everything as well as having my wee girl to look after.
Your tips are all very appreciated and its nice to hear from folk in the same/similar situation
Hope u are all doing ok xx

Harlansmummy

I find it easier now he is 3, he is able to help himself to drinks and snacks, doesn't need carrying up the stairs etc.

Also, you will find ways to make things work for you. For example we used slings (proper ones, not baby Bjorn things) so I can use crutches and carry him at the same time. Crutches and prams do not mix ;-)

Also if you struggle to get down on the floor, bring games into bed or onto a lap tray. Cook meals when you have a good day and freeze them. When you are bad you just heat them in the microwave and know the whole family is getting good food.

We are hone educating our son, I have had a few wobbles about it, especially when having a bad day and stuck in bed, but between my husband and me we ensure he has a brilliant life. You can do it, it is tough, really tough, but so worth it.

frogmorton

Ah Fee

I understand, my first ever post on here had my bawling for a week people were so lovely

Listen to Harlansmummy - you WILL cope you WILL manage and it will be even more worthwhile for it.

Lots of love and hugs

Toni xxx

Colin1

Hello Fee I’m afraid I cant help as I’m just a Granddad with Arthritis I just wanted to wish you good luck for the future my Heart goes out to you young mums who have to look after kids and keep house. Knowing how difficult it is to cope with arthritis on its own let alone having a family to look after. Take Care
Colin
XXX

SarahACEV

altho i can not help personally

But when my baby was 8 weeks old, my husbands health deteriored so much that he could no longer work, luckily i was on maternity so was able to look after them both. Sadly had to go back to work earlier then expected as my husband was no longer getting sick pay.

He is now a stay at home dad and looks after our now 11 month old, he has his good days and bad days. His condition is Ankylosing Spondylitis which effects the spine and outer limbs. Hes in agony every day but every day i feel that our baby boy keeps him going. He only does what he can each day and sometimes i get home from work and he needs a bath or a sleep. Hes very stubborn and doesnt like leaving me to do everything, so dependant on how tidy the house is i know how well he feels.

Just rest as much as you can and dont worry about the house work, it can be done when your having a good day, but dont over do it on a good day

lizzieuk1

HI Fee,
i am 36 and have a 15 month old i've had RA for 8 years now so had to go through coming off mtx to have him, that was pretty hard but i was well controlled until then, since having him i am in a real flare but have had a couple of steroid depot injections which have helped massively whilst they are trying to get me sorted on the long term drugs- have you been given a steroid? if not ask for one they really do help and can just get you a little restbite which we all need when trying to look after a baby.
It is seriously hard trying to manage a baby, mine was on formula as well so my hubby could get up in the night and parents can do a bit in the day which helps you get some rest, don't try and do anything other than the essentials of looking after you and bub- buy some ready meals or ask a friend/relative to make you a big batch of spag bol or similar you can freeze into batches for easy meals. it does get a bit easier as they grow, you get more night rest for a start and they need less carrying once they crawl/walk. i also had a changing station downstairs and a moses basket so i didnlt have to keep going up stairs which helped. also join some baby groups they are a real tonic and i found helped me keep going through some tough days.
it is well worth the struggle keep in mind its only a short time before things get easier- feel free to message me if you need a shoulder.xx

Melrymax

Hi, I am 25 with a 5 year old, 3 year old and 5 months Pregnant. I had pain /symptoms from 14/15. I got diagnosed with osteoarthritis at 23. There will be alot of ups and downs but you will come to learn a number of coping mechanisms x

millie78

Welcome! This is nice to get to know other mums. I've had symptoms of ra since I was 25 but diagnosed a cple of years ago now 34. I have four children and have ups and downs as we alldo. Fortunately my 5 and 9 yr old are understanding and if mummys having a bad dahey help a lot with the babies who are 1yr and 2yrs. I make up for it on ky good days by providing fun things for them to do and not expecting them to help at all - I save all of that for the bad days.

dizzybizzum

Sorry I haven't been on and replied to all who have posted to me and who have PM'd me! I'm up feeding the wee one just now hence the time!!!
I have been floored with a migraine the past 3 days and am just getting back to normal (whatever normal is haha) so will get round to reading and replying to u all.

Hope u r all good xx

L1985

Its nice to know there are other mums out there going through this but also sad at how our paths have crossed.

It brings comfort to me that there are a few mums with 2 plus children. OH and I would like one more baby in the nearest future and then 3 would be our lot We are waiting until im feeling 'better' but my question is will there be a time when im 'better' I havent got a definite diagnosis yet and still trying to find which tablets work etc. I seem to be slowly getting worse as the months go by and half of you thinks should we try for a baby now before things get any worse?

I know medication needs to stop before you have a baby but just wondered when people knew it was right to start trying?

My arthritis had just started before I fell pregnant with my son and I wasnt even under the rhuemy and towards the end of my pregnancy I felt great which im hoping would be the same another time round? Or is it a case of each pregnancy is different with how you feel?

In an 'ideal' world we would like to try again next spring time when my son is 2 1/2 years but it obviously depends on how things are etc.

Im scared that my symptoms wont get under control then we have missed our chance of me feeling not great but alot better then I could be ...hope that makes sense.

Also when your pregnant are there any risk arthritis can do to your baby? I was monitored very closely with my last pregnancy as I have graves disease too and the anti-bodies can cross over and do things to baby...thankfully no permanent damage was done to my son...his thyroid levels were abit funny for 3 days after he was born but it was as things I had passed over to him came out of his system. If there is a risk that baby could have horrible permanent symptoms then I wouldnt want to put a child through that.

Thanks

Lulu xxx

dizzybizzum

Hey lulu
This is something me n the Beloved have a bit of a quandry over. Tootie is not biologically his - my delightful ex walked out on me at 12 weeks pregnant the day b4 my scan and I've heard hide nor hair of him since. I knew the Beloved before I fell pregnant but we were just friends and started getting closer in january this yer before realising that we had feeliings for each other. We finally got our act together the month b4 tootie was born. As far as we say, him and his family are tooties family! We have discussed and would like another.
But because Arthur reared his ugly head post pregnancy, I'm scard it'll b twice as bad after another and how would I cope. Our time scale is about 2/3 years as I feel I'm 'getting on' abit and really don't want to b an old mum, more because the Beloved is 10 years younger than me.
I'm scared of stopping the meds and after effects, and of how pain and such can be managed while pregnant. As u say too - when really is the best time to do it! I was actually very tempted to have another straight away so that they were close in age and that I might manage to deal better but its just not practical just now
Oh me, there's just so much to consider without arthritis thrown into the pot as well

Jee, this is a bit of a waffle today lol xx

Melrymax

Fee and lulu. Part of it will depend on what arthritis and location of it. Some arthritis goes into remission during pregnancy. I had my pain as under control as it could be and somewhat managing flare ups then came off my medication ready for trying (incase I withdrew) I got pregnant within 3 months and managed ok there. I had a small/ short flare up about 7 weeks and then at 17 weeks had a flare up and am struggling still at 23 weeks.
As for the right time..... My husband and I had talked abou another but he wasn't so keen as he wanted to have all the house sorted (big jobs done) stable work as he was on agency, finance and the plan was to wait until I had been to uni..... As this year I had made the reserves but not quite made it in, I have been in my job for over 2 years and he had been taken on properly by the cOmpany he was up at and had been for over a year that covered stability and finance. The idea was for me to go uni, work for a year then have a baby, that would be at least 5 years away now- my boys are 3 and 5 and it made total sense to do it before things get worse.
If I can have my hips "fixed" then I would consider another after this but if not.... This will be the last
Hope that gives you a bit of outlook on your thoughts about trying

millie78

I know pregnancy and Arthur affect everyone differently. But my ra started to flare after my first pregnancy 9 years ago. Since then I've had 3 more children and each pregnancy has been heaven with no ra symptoms. Which is why my ra has only been diagnosed properly for 18mths. I must say I had pretty major flares after each one which does give a tough time trying to care for a newborn. I remember one of my dds I had to lift her out of cot like a stork gripping her babygrow with my one functioning hand. 9 months of no pain is so heavenly tho that I seriously consider being a surrogate.
I suppose I was fortunate in a way to have not been diagnoses and therefore not yet on any medication, as that's the tricky decision u guys have is when to stop.
You do manage though, learning little tricks like changing nappies on your lap, and I used to get my dp to plant me, baby and everthing I would need in the front room before he went to work. Older siblings are amazingly resilient, I used to sob with guilt for what a miserable life I thought they were having h aving to care for me and the newborn during my big flares. But when I chat to them now they only remember the fun stuff. They have no recollection of the tough times. Thank goodness!

buffycat

Hello!

I've not been on for a while. My story....I'm 34 and have had RA and PA since I was 23. Came off MTX in 2006 due to elevated blood results....decided to try for a baby....my first was born in 2009. Rather than going back onto MTX (knowing that you have to be drug free for 6months before trying again), we decided to try again....my second was born last year (20 months between them). I also breastfeed which helps keep my RA symptoms at bay.

Had my rheumy app last month during which he reviewed my X-rays taken 6months ago.....pleasing news is that there had been no change in the last 2 years....ie no more damage (woo!). That said, I do have flare-ups so I know that when I stop feeding....the pain starts all over again

We're thinking of a third, but if we do we will have to go for a small age gap again...I'm just getting used to sleep again! The others are right though...you adapt the way you do things. I've managed to find a fabulous travel system that is so easy (and is affordable) and also am testing out a new easy-fold/light-weight stroller.

If you are thinking about having another baby...think about doing it before starting MTX.....coming off it was so difficult for me. For many, symptoms are vastly reduced during pregnancy (and breast-feeding)....

Take care....

x

MuminNZ

Hiya

I am a 36 yo mum with 2 littlies (2&5). I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis last year (although looking back i now know that i had arth in my feet for many years). I am on sulpha which has just been increased to 6 a day as the lower dose did nothing. :? Hoping this works as I'm not sure about going on mext.... have heard bad things....

Have found it hard on the last 6 months as i can no longer walk my daughter to school and am having increasingly painful days, so im a bit over it. Looking for some positive reinforcement on this site...would be interested to hear some good advice!

AJ (all the way down in New Zealand)

dizzybizzum

Hi AJ
And welcome! So far I've found a lot of friendly, helpful people.

Sorry for short reply but I'm not having a good finger day

Merylmax & Millie, thanks for the reply's I'll write u back tomorrow when its a bit easier

Hope u are all good as can be x

L1985

HI Ladies

Thanks for all the replies. Im at the Rhuemy tomorrow getting the results of my Lupus blood tests, quiet nervous as really dont want it to be that (not that anyone does).

Each appointment never feels the right time to bring up having another baby as im not feeling well enough at the moment and seems wrong to mention having kids when your telling them how unwell you feel ...hope that makes sense.

There is no rush to have another I just play it over and over in my mind if its best to start some medication feel better then come off it or do it now when not on medication.

AJ- I have a daughter a similar age (6) and the school run is a bloody nightmare at times! I was honest with the school from day one about my arthritis so if ever she was late there was a genuine reason (touch wood havent been late yet). One morning I woke and was having a major flare so I rang the school and said she would be in at lunch when someone could bring her....luckily a teacher came and picked her up for me so she was on time. Is your daughters school sympathetic?

Buffycat- Id be interested to hear about the lightweight stroller you found. I have a Cosatto Swift Lite Stroller and its the 3rd pushchair I have had as the others were too heavy :roll: This latest pushchair is really light at 6kg and hoping this will see us through now. The only problem I have with it are the straps are quiet hard to unclip. They would be fine for someone without problems with their hands but for me I find it very stiff to squeeze.

Hope everyone is ok

Lulu xxx

LignumVitae

This mightbe useful Amanda