problem with carers.

tkachev

I have to have special carers to look after my Son so am a member of a lovely local group (vetted by Social services) and have been for several years. I've never had any problem booking before but today I phoned to book a carer and the lady (who said she was the manager) said we can't look after your other 2 children only the disabled one. But I've been using them for years and they've always been happy to look after all 3 at the same time.

I asked all sorts of questions; Was I expected to get another babysittter for my other 2 and the carer for my Son at the same time? How could people go out for a night if they have to make additional arrangements for their other children? The children have always been good and the carers seem to like coming to our house.

I'm confused by all this as it is really the only time I get a break and I've never had a problem before!
The manager says she's going to look into it. :?
Elizabeth

joanlawson

That seems a ridiculous situation, Elizabeth. How could anyone get a break if they have to arrange additional care for their other children? It doesn't make sense, especially as they've cared for all three in the past.

It sounds as though it might be part of some new rules about health and safety, but you should have been informed in advance if that is the case. I hope that the manager will sort things out for you and allow you to have the break you need.

Joan

tkachev

I'm thinking it might be a new rule Joan because there have been a lot of changes with the direct payment system that funds the care in the first place. That or my carers have been breaking the rules for the past few years and I'm worried I've opened a can of worms and everybody will be affected!
They must have thousands of people on their books and I can't believe this situation has not come up before.



Elizabeth

joanlawson

It seems quite wrong to me that you haven't been informed of any changes, Elizabeth. It's very important that people in your situation get a break, so they should be making it easier, not more difficult. You can't be the only one with more than one child, so it will affect lots of people with a disabled child.

tkachev

Well she called me back to inform me they can only provide a carer for my Son and not the other 2 children. I will have to make alternative arrangements for them such as get an additional babysitter.

Some of the old staff have left so obviously this new manageress has read the rule book much more thoroughly.

Lets hope I can source another babysitter as I have a party to attend on the 22nd!

Elizabeth

frogmorton

Oh Gosh Elizabeth :?

What a shame for you and all the other parents who have more than one child :roll:

Hope you get you babysitter sorted in time.

Love

Toni xxx

tkachev

Its going to complicate things Toni. My Son is no trouble really so eventually it will be back to One carer-fits-all once a babysitter gets to know him and his 'issues'.

Just got to find someone reliable now. I could ask the local autistic group as they have to have lots of carers to help out on the Easter and Summer trips and they would have a bit of experience.

I lost his regular after school carer earlier this year as she has been diagnosed with a cancer and she was so lovely I don't think she is replacable.

Elizabeth

tkachev

Its going to complicate things Toni. My Son is no trouble really so eventually it will be back to One carer-fits-all once a babysitter gets to know him and his 'issues'.

Just got to find someone reliable now. I could ask the local autistic group as they have to have lots of carers to help out on the Easter and Summer trips and they would have a bit of experience.

I lost his regular after school carer earlier this year as she has been diagnosed with a cancer and she was so lovely I don't think she is replaceable.

Elizabeth

dreamdaisy

It is going to be hard to find someone to whom you can entrust their care but I hope you do as you need some time for you, don't you? I think the local autistic group is a good starting place and I hope they can help. DD

elnafinn

tkachev wrote:

Well she called me back to inform me they can only provide a carer for my Son and not the other 2 children. I will have to make alternative arrangements for them such as get an additional babysitter.

Some of the old staff have left so obviously this new manageress has read the rule book much more thoroughly.

Lets hope I can source another babysitter as I have a party to attend on the 22nd!

Elizabeth

Oh Elizabeth, this is ridiculous! You most definitely need the occasional evening out. Goodness, you really should have this in writing and as I think Joan mentioned, you should have been informed. Perhaps this new manageress is reading the rules incorrectly?? I do hope that you can find a way around this. It is of paramount importance that you have time out.

Surely this is affecting others who use this service. I wonder how they are getting around it.

Love
Elna x

frogmorton

Hi Elizabeth

I agree with you - you need a carer who can look after all of them. His specific needs have to be catered for, but maybe the autistic group have someone who could do all of them? Experience is invaluable and will give you more confidence in them.

It wouldn't sprise me at all if the old manageress either didn't read the rules herself or 'bent the rules' for families.

Wish i could help

Love

Toni xxx

tkachev

Well I spoke to a friend who works for a disability support group and he did say that the funding has to be for the specific child and he has had concerns from other users but mostly because the carers will wash and iron the clothing or cook for the 1 child but not the others (I did't know they would do clothes or cooking) which is a bit daft as all food could go into one oven and all clothes into 1 wash!

I can't think of many situations where I'd be prepared to leave 1 while I take the other 2 out, I'd feel really nasty doing that! But with a forthcoming THR I could ask them to watch him while I'm stuck in bed as I did far too much after my last THR so all is not lost.

Toni I think you are right. The old manageress was lovely and probably 'bent the rules'. I cannot fault the staff, they were quite happy to read to my daughter and even did some washing up.

Thanks DD. They were just so good all round and I trusted them and they will be difficult to replace.

Elna it seems I have been lucky so far but it was a shock to be told they can only look after the one after all this time and it has complicated things. I really do need the occasional night out. It is also important for the children to understand Mum isn't always at their beck-and-call.


We have a couple of leads.

Thanks for all your answers,
Elizabeth

barbara12

Hi Elizabeth
Sorry Im late seeing this.
Its awful to get you used to having one carer for all your children , then changing the rules, the thing is they now have an excuse funding...dont you just get sick of hearing this.
I do hope you get sorted, then you can concentrate on having your THR
Its not much to ask , to want an evening out now and then....
I am hoping they see sense, then you don't have this extra worry.xx

elnafinn

Dear Elizabeth

"It is also important for the children to understand Mum isn't always at their beck-and-call." Indeed it is and that mum need to go play as well, sometimes. Or recuperate after an operation.

Love
Elna x

frogmorton

Good luck following up those leads

100% behind Elna in saying YES! DO use them for him when you have the THR - great idea

Cooking? ironing? washing? WOW!

Take care

Love

Toni xxx

tkachev

They did some washing up and made some toast and hot chocolates but I never thought of asking them to wash clothes and iron. Ive been told the money is for respite and not house work so never even though of asking. I should think it is another grey area.

Still waiting for some feedback on babysitters.

Elizabeth

frogmorton

tkachev wrote:

They did some washing up and made some toast and hot chocolates but I never thought of asking them to wash clothes and iron. Ive been told the money is for respite and not house work so never even though of asking. I should think it is another grey area.

Still waiting for some feedback on babysitters.

Elizabeth

If you had a child who was, say incontinent, then they ought to be able to put a wash on as you would. Also they should be able to prepare food for them - just as you do. If you think about it....if it was a teenager they could help THEM to learn to cook - wash up etc.

Maybe they can let you have a copy of the rules so you know what you can ask them to do :? .

Good luck with babysitters

Love

Toni xxx

tkachev

They do a care plan once a year where they ask you lots of questions about ALL the children in the family. Apparently (according to the new Manageress) my care plan says to assist MS E XXXXX with the children so MR R XXXX can go out for respite!!!!!

I'm still waiting on babysitting news.......

Elizabeth x

frogmorton

tkachev wrote:

They do a care plan once a year where they ask you lots of questions about ALL the children in the family. Apparently (according to the new Manageress) my care plan says to assist MS E XXXXX with the children so MR R XXXX can go out for respite!!!!!

I'm still waiting on babysitting news.......

Elizabeth x

Really???!!!!
MR NEEDS respite poor you!!!
Still hoping you get sorted soon
love
Toni xxx

tkachev

Story of my life Toni!

Elizabeth x

tkachev

There was a note in my Sons lunchbox yesterday from a teaching assistant saying she would be interested in babysitting the 3 children. She knows my Son well as he was in her class last year. So I'm going to have a chat with her later today.

I still have the other person booked for Saturday,to help me with Dan as per the care plan,and was intending to let OH go out alone to the party :P just to see how it panned out and to see if it was one of the previous carers to ask how they felt about the changes. TBH it is going to be a waste of money if I'm at home too.

Fingers crossed.

Elizabeth

tkachev

elnafinn wrote:

Dear Elizabeth

"It is also important for the children to understand Mum isn't always at their beck-and-call." Indeed it is and that mum need to go play as well, sometimes. Or recuperate after an operation.

Love
Elna x

I'm often resigned to missing out ( no point getting upset) but I was really looking forward to this 40th party as everybody I know is going.

Just hoping this weekend isn't too soon to arrange anything.

Elizabeth

frogmorton

That is spot on Elizabeth - she knows exacty what she's doing - go for it

I hope you can go to the ball!

YOU deserve the break :roll:

Love

Toni xxx

tkachev

Well luckily she was up for babysitting on Sat so I managed to sort in time for a night out. Unfortunately my ankle was very painful (even sitting down ) but I got to see my friends and the live band were good too.

Elizabeth

tkachev

Had the previous carer round yesterday and she was quite happy to look after 2 of my children (the other one had her party)and said if I asked for her she would be fine looking after all 3. She seemed upset about the changes as she had always wanted to support families and did not feel the current rules allowed this.

I hope she won't get iinto trouble though......

Elizabeth

tkachev

Update;

I have employed a friend as a carer for my Son as she only has part time work at the moment. she started in November and I pay her via Social services/ Direct payments. I noticed that no money has been paid in monthly to my account since late Oct but as I had a review due 5th Dec I wasn't unduly worried.

Because I had not received a letter about the outcome of the review and still not had any money I phoned them yesterday. I found out they have suspended payment because I didn't have a carer when they came to visit in October and therefore assumed I didn't need one (rather than I couldn't find one). The lady who visited me had given me leaflets and advice on finding a carer and suggested I find one PRIOR to the review which I did.

So now I have to go and show them my friend's payslips, tax payments, timesheets and contract of employment to get the money reinstated.
A carers charity has suggested I complain to the manager for stopping my money without notification.

thanks for listening and hope you are all well.

Elizabeth x