My gorilla has gone too far.

dreamdaisy

What a nerve. First he moves in uninvited, now he's brought his best friend round to stay for a while. Bl**dy cheek. I guess you all realise what I'm blathering on about - yup, payback's arrived. :roll:

I'm not really complaining - it was inevitable and fully expected but what I currently lack is the energy to deal with it adequately, let alone properly. As Mig would say - borrox. I can easily add a few more epithets but won't. I know it will pass as all things do but I suspect my gorilla's best mate will be hanging around for a while yet. Dammit. DefeatedDaisy.

Jo90

DD you are NOT defeated - you are merely recuperating and biding your time so you can give it a right kick up the 'rse dear lady
Chin up.
Jo
xx

stickywicket

Dear Ms DD

This is a very serious situation and requires immediate action.

I suspect what you have here are two male gorillas. They are notorious squatters who will take advantage of any slight chinks in their hostess’s armour. Before you know it, it won’t be one mate, it will be several. The **** and the cans of lager will be next. You might feel that this would be the best stage but it’s always cheap lager. You will never convert a gorilla and his mates to real ale or a nice Chenin Blanc.

Plus, their eating habits are pretty disgusting. It’s not for nothing that they belong to the pongidae family, with the emphasis on the first syllable. They eat grubs and termites and, if you think that could be a good thing, remember they will also consume all your fruit, herbs and most of your garden. When they have done this – call it 2 hours – that’s when they start fighting over whatever food is left. Hence the term gorilla warfare.

Gorilla eviction is notoriously difficult and largely depends on whether yours is an idle gorilla who cannot stand hustle, bustle and cleanliness or the hyperactive, gymnastic gorilla who is easily bored. Given your recent circumstances I suspect the mate falls into the latter category. It is a juvenile, attracted by the domestic mayhem of the past week. Therefore, I suggest you ignore it completely, put your feet up, take the meds, sleep as often as you can and keep all activity to a minimum. He will soon be bored out of his tree and will hopefully slink off to a more interesting rainforest.

Yours, etc etc

A Wellwisher

(Chunky Monkey Advice Centre)

villier

Aw DD no wonder you are feeling defeated after what you have been through, it was inevitable your gorrilla was going to bring his mate along, do what we Scots do give them both a Glesga Kiss :idea: knock them out tie them up and throw them in the attic, this will give you time to relax, get your strength back and your meds time to do their job, also help you cope with everything that is goin on, so by the time you release the terrible duo they will be so p*****d off being locked up with no food and water they will s*d off elsewhere and leave you in peace, hopeyou feelbettersoon.com..........Marie xx

Jo90

Stickywicket,I can only pay homage at the feet of your genius excellent response !
DD - keep your pecker up or you will have us to deal with :-)

Take care

xx

frogmella

Oh, DD. I am not surprised you have these unwanted visitors. I agree that you should take your meds and just get as much rest as possible. Most other things can wait for a while.
(())
Sticky - genius!!

tillytop

Hey DD

Unfortunately dealing with gorillas is not my forte so glad to see you have had some good advice from the others!

Thinking of you lots though.

Tilly xxx

dreamdaisy

Sticky has scared me - she knows far too much about the habits of these beasts but there again she's been lliving with hers for a deal longer than me, a mere amateur.

We wandered up to the Plump Feline for some liquid refreshment, which of course eventually required some 'therapy' (see the STD dictionary on CC). Whilst drying my hands I peered at my manky tongue (like one does) and saw that I have a huge 'thing' on the right hand side of my throat, next to my epiglottis. (I think that's what the dangly thing is called, I can't remember. Uvula? :roll: ) Anyhoo, whatever the name of the dangly bit the thing next to it is very large. I don't have a sore throat, I don't feel poorly but then one doesn't when one is on the immuno-suppressants. Hey-ho. DD

valval

bed dear pal rest as much as you can hide from the unwanted visitors they will soon get fed up of looking for you ((())) and move on to others (please do not send them this way) a few drinks good idea val

barbara12

Oh DD
Unlike SW I am not clued up on gorillas, but I know you....and it wont be long before they are booted out...((((())))

mig

Sticky I salute you. Mig

hileena111

Hi DD
I know little about gorrillas but I do know a bit more about you and you are NOT A DEFEATED DAISY.......write this out 100 times...OK!!!!!!!

Love
Hileena

LignumVitae

Bugger! It sounds like you've had more than enough. I think Sticky might have got it down to a T. Hope things improve and big swollen throat lumps decide to shrink soon. Take good care DD. love LV xx

suzygirl

DD, What a pain!!! You have had added stress so it was inevitable, but it would be nice to be proved wrong, just for once!!

I hope that with all that is going on, you can find some time to rest. BIG ((( hugs )))

applerose

I'm no expert on gorillas either but I think Sticky has got it covered. Rest as much as possible and hopefully, they'll wander off and leave you alone.

dreamdaisy

You know what I said about not having a sore throat? :roll: I also have a runny-ish nose and a rather nasty cough. Bummer. I shall spend the day languishing with as much elegance as I can muster - hopefully that will drive the pongidae beasties away because I will not be an interesting or vibrant hostess. I note that the recycling bin is full of Tesbury's own-range cheap lager cans (so some credit to the 'rillas for tidying) and there is a heap of dog-ends outside the back door. Bless 'em. Sticky, as ever you were spot on with your warning. Watch out everyone, a couple of bored gorillas may be roaming around on the look-out for new hosts. DD

tillytop

Morning DD

So sorry you now have more to contend with. Thinking of you.

Tillyxxx

dreamdaisy

Thank you Tilly, that is very kind of you. It is only a cold but that's enough to pull me down. At least it's sunny - but I won't be going out because it's also quite chilly. :shock: Me? Moaning about being chilly? I must be ill! DD

dachshund

Hello DD
i'm so sorry you have a cold i'm in very good company i have one as well.
friday i went to the docs to cancel my flu jab a neighbour went with me she wanted a earlier ap so i asked if she could have mine the receptionist could not believe it her hands went up in the air she said i've never had this you've made my day.
DDi hope you will feel better soon.
take care.
joan xx

villier

Aw sorry DD that you have got the blessed cold now on top of everything else, a couple of scoops of chenin blanc cures all.........tc.....Marie xx

hileena111

Hi DD
Sorry you now have a cold as well as everything else.........you feeling chilly???????? You must be ill

Love
Hileena

merri

Sorry that you've got a cold on top of 2 gorillas who have outstayed their welcome /hugs You really are going through the mill at the moment. I hear that trashy TV, even trashier magazines and intravenous chocolate, with a healthy glug of medicinal wine is the best way to get rid of unwanted gorillas. Take good care of yourself /hugs

valval

just give the cold to the gorillas and eat loads of chocolate hope you rested val

bubbadog

SW I'm in awe of your knowledge! *bows (virtually as could never do this normally!) at feet!* You are the new brains of AC! As for poor DD, How about trying a little reverse physicology? Be over nice keep going into room and bothering the Gorillas, go in when you can here them talking or when they have music on (usually when loud music is on they are upto something!). They would soon get fed up of it! Ask what up, what they been up too, met any nice girls that sort of thing! Or if they could do something for you! Hope you can evict them soon! And take care DD you need your rest!

dreamdaisy

I'm snuffling beautifully so they have gone to stay in the shed for the time being - sensible beasts. :roll: My throat is lined with barbed wire so I will not humira or meth this week, I want this gone as we have the cremation next week and there will be a deal of stuff to organise. Mr DD is at home today, he has people to contact, people to see and things to do. DD

mig

Hope you feel better soon,make sure shed locked don't want em coming my way.Hugs to both Mig