negative

valval

i am going to share this with you all to get some perspective on it.
right mac have a chat room where any one with c there partners and carers might go and help each other through.
well last night a mother who had lost her 31 year old son was on she had been on before the funeral was only wed so she still very upset.but she was getting more and more aggressive tried to help her but she turned around and said every one who has cancer should die because her son died he only lived three weeks after the cancer was found and could have no treatment so in that case i should die now i know it was her grief talking but i feel she has cursed me i can not shake the feeling how do i get the positive feeling back that i have lost val

Christimay

Val there is no way that woman has cursed you I have read some of your posts on this site you are kind caring encouraging and always have a good word for everyone, this woman through her grief was just sounding off cause her heart was broken and she had probably been given something by her gp to help her cop as I also did 6weeks after my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died. Val you know everyone on this forum is fighting with you you are well thought of cared for by you're friends don't let this off the mark upset you please just keep on fighting, we will all be with you for love and support. Still hoping I can get some sleep yet take care xxxx

valval

Christimay wrote:

Val there is no way that woman has cursed you I have read some of your posts on this site you are kind caring encouraging and always have a good word for everyone, this woman through her grief was just sounding off cause her heart was broken and she had probably been given something by her gp to help her cop as I also did 6weeks after my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died. Val you know everyone on this forum is fighting with you you are well thought of cared for by you're friends don't let this off the mark upset you please just keep on fighting, we will all be with you for love and support. Still hoping I can get some sleep yet take care xxxx

thankyou so much. it hit hard i think because have always tried to be kind to others and to have some one say such a thing was awfull am trying to get back to positive but bit of up hill struggle val

stickywicket

(((()))) The positive feeling will return, Val, because that is who you are. This is just a temporary blip.

The woman might just be some malicious spammer. We get the occasional weirdo on here so there’s no reason why a cancer forum should be any different. Even if she is for real, as Christimay says, she will be talking through grief and anger and it’s a pity her post wasn’t deleted.

Curses only have the power that we give them. Those who believe in them may be hugely affected: those who don’t will just shrug them off and forget about them. You have been caught at a very difficult time when your emotions must be all over the place so all the more reason not to go by how you feel but by what you know.

The docs are the ones in charge, not this sad woman (who could be a man or a child for all we know and lying through their teeth. There are some very strange, sick people out there). As I recall, the docs have said that your form of cancer is very responsive to treatment. There will be ups and downs but hang on to that. They know what they’re talking about.

Only you know whether or not it would be a good thing to return to that website. I think I’d steer clear if it were me. It might well not be moderated at all. You have plenty of real support with your family, friends, the hospital and on here. We all care very much about you and will give any help we can.

I prescribe a weekend with the people who love you most; eat and drink the things you most enjoy; stay away from that forum and, whenever the thought of that person comes to mind, remind yourself that you are much, much stronger than that. ((((()))))

mig

Oh Val,I feel for you, it must have really hit you hard but you will come back stronger than before,this woman will be talking through her pain and grief in the weeks and months ahead she will regret what she has said,but she has to come to terms with what has happened.You my lovely Val will put it from you and fight this thing,just remember we are all in your corner fighting with you. (((()))) Mig

tjt6768

Some hugs n kisses from Richmond hun.
Xxxxxxxxxx

Numptydumpty

Val, I am sorry and quite frankly appalled, that this has happened to you.
I know grief can make us do and say some strange, and terrible things, and I do sympathise deeply, with anyone who has lost a son or daughter. But to say that to you, is inexcusable. No doubt she will be regretting it, but the damage is done.
What she said is utter rubbish, and can have no influence on you and your treatment.
You are are a very strong and caring lady, and you will, I'm sure, regain your positivity.
(((())))
Thinking of you,
Numpty

barbara12

Oh Val...she is either in shock or it is spam...I am sure having your treatment that you have met quite a few people going through the same...and positive is the word...these forums can be so harsh.
I can understand how this person has effected you, and shook you up, and know wonder....
We are always here when you need to talk...you will have ups and downs ...that happens with most things in life....but you have so much love round you...this will help ((((((()))) xx

gilly1957

Val

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and some (((()))).

What that women said to you is terrible, even if she is grieving.

Please try and forget what she said, I know that will be hard, its so difficult when something someone says goes round and round in your mind.

I hope you are feeling happier and more relaxed now and enjoy your weekend.

Luv gill xx

dreamdaisy

The interweb is a weird place, it attracts the happy, the sad, the lonely, the grasping, the ill, the healthy, the oddities and people in all kinds of emotional states in-between.

I am so upset this has happened to you, Val. It is unsettling how the words of people we don't know can upset us nad how we may inadvertantly cause hurt ourselves without ever having that intention. Does that site have a report button like ours? (I am not very computer-savvy, this is the only social networking site I use.) If so, report her and ignore her from here-on-in. We all experience grief, anger, frustration etc but I do not understand why some use it as an excuse for bad behaviour and rudeness. DD

tkachev

Val her pain is raw and she is angry and hitting out at everybody. It is a shame she is trying to hurt those trying to comfort her but try not to take it personally.

Elizabeth

lululu

Val, am am so sorry this has happend to you at such a vunrable time. It is a forum that helps and supports people and this lady needs help and support at probably the worst time in her life. She is hitting out on a reflex and you are unfortunately in the line of fire, she is not hitting out at you you just happen to be in the way. I wish you all the luck in the world Val.

valval

thankyou all it has an option to bar them from what i see which is what i have done can see she is on line but not see what she has posted could have reported her but to be honest she needs the site as much as any of us a good pal has just has face op for skin cancer so can not stay off she needs suport this the second op in two weeks there is always some one worse off in this world she is only 28 and such a big op is hard val

suzygirl

((( Val ))) you so do not deserve that treatment. You are kind and supportive to others.

Everyone here is sending you positivity

lindalegs

Dear Val,

Although this woman was just lashing out she had no right to say such a thing on that forum. You aren't cursed, you are doing so well and must keep up the fight.

Here of some buckets filled with positive tablets for when you need.



Luv,

applerose

Oh Val. How awful for you. I'm sure it wasn't aimed at you personally. The woman was talking through her pain and will be feeling very embarrassed now I'm sure. You did the right thing blocking her. I'm sure there are other people on the site who are there for you just as we all are on here. Take care and keep being as positive as you have been.

barbara12

Val I have been thinking about you all night...well most of it...I do hope this person doesn't go on effecting you...dont forget you will get through this mostly down to you being strong and your lovely family and us lot ((((()))) xx

LignumVitae

Awe Val, how can things keep being thrown at you like this? The only person that will come to any harm from posts like the one you described is the person that posted it. They either have grief that needs to be addressed (writing posts like that isn't addressing it) or as Sticky suggests some other issue which is a bit sick. You are a true treasure and even if she had cursed you we are all here counteracting her curse with wishes of love and support - what's one person against the power of all your arthritis friends?! Nothing, that's what!
Take care, I hope you feel more settled, love and giant hugs LV xx

frogmorton

Oh Val

I am totally horrified at this!!!!!!!!!!

Listen - the others have said it so well - Elizabeth - how raw the woman's grief is just now - Barbara that it could be a spammer (or a troll????)

Right I shall draw a line under it:

____________________________________________________________________

Made it in BOLD

Grab the buckets of possitivity and all the other fantastic wishes, add a bit of spark

So much love and strength and leave her in the past. The future is recovery and then the rest of your life with you lovely family

Love

Toni xxx

valval

well positive is back sort of till got up this morning and telly dead lol got cover on it cost me £101 and guess what company they use does not work weekends lol so call them tomorrow have changed fuse no good what next lol not letting steve touch this laptop he is now banned lol.

a big thankyou all of you i have bounced back and feel normal again pain still more than was but good old morf will sort that getting worked up does not help any illness does it. but with your help and the great people on mac chat i am over the wet fish in gob feeling and back to my normal self





this more like it now if pinch wheel chair thanks again val

applerose

That's more like it Val. Back to your usual positive self. As you say, the morf will sort out the pain. Yes keep tight hold of the laptop. Don't know what I'd do without mine. I don't watch much tv but it keeps me company so don't know what I'd do without mine. Hope they come out to sort yours quickly.

valval

well while in town decided to get some new fuses to give it another go lol and it worked the second fuse must have been no good either so have telly yay

frogmorton

Well done you Val

Ca't keep a good woman down



love

Toni xxx

villier

Oh Val, try not take what she said to heart pet, I am sure you were not the only one that got the brunt of her anger and frustrations, not everyone is as kind,caring and thoughtful as yourself, I am glad to see you have blocked her at least you cna't see what she has posted, sending you some positivity and ((((())))).................tc....................Marie xxx

barbara12

Good for you Val..like I said you know there will ups and downs..but somehow I think there will be more ups for you...(((((()))) xx

stickywicket

Couldn't agree more, Barbara.