Another death in the family

mig

So pleased he's been found,enjoy your drink and try to relax,sending hugs to both.(((()))) Mig

kentishlady

Hello DD. Am pleased to hear that you have received better news of your Cousin's son. Hope you enjoy your lunchtime drink and relaxation. Take care. Beryl

villier

Glad the boy has been found, a bit of a weight off. You enjoy that well deserved beer with OH take care DD a few more of these ((())) to keepyou going....................Marie xx

kellerman

(((((((((((( DD )))))))))) Things seem to come along like this. Always when you think what else can happen something else hits you.
You take care .May

stickywicket

It's good that you contacted Wendy and even better that the young man has turned up. I hope the Corpulent Cougar provides some necessary respite today

dachshund

Hello DD
I'm so sorry for your sad news please take care I will be thinking about you.
((((((((DD)))))))
joan xx

Boomer13

Dear DD;

So sorry for your loss. Hope you are managing ok with the added stress.
((())).
Anna

barbara12

So sorry I have missed this...DD you are getting all sorts thrown at you....but you know we are all here.....((((())))xx

dreamdaisy

Barbara, don't you dare apologise for missing this - you have had some really tough stuff going on lately.

Boomer13, thank you for your support, I won't deny that this is tough on top of everything else but hey-ho, this is what life can do.

Joan, you too are in my thoughts - and very much so.

I am very tired and will be off to bed soon once I've eaten my dinner. Mr DD has cheffed and is frowning at me because I am clicking away on here. Yup, welcome to my world, husband. This is what he does on week-days (but that is, of course, entirely different). DD

applerose

Thank goodness he's contacted someone. Hopefully he'll soon be back home and be able to start to come to terms with things. It's good that you and Wendy are in contact too. Hope you are able to rest up and enjoyed your pint. And your dinner. Some people just don't understand the online world.

scattered

Thinking of you and your family lots, DD.

maria09

Hi DD
I'm so glad he's contacted someone I bet that's a great relief for you
Nothing more I can add to what the others have said
(((( ))))
Maria

fowls48

Hi DD

Glad your cousins son has contacted a member of the family .Its all so worrying , when they take off like that ,Double the worry .

Will be thinking of you and your lovely cold beer , i,m sure your cousin will be smiling down on you .Hope you managed to have a good weekend .


karen xxxx((()))

nearlybionic

Hi DD
I am sorry that I have been late to this post, as I have had a few days away, and then I also had a bereavement. I am so sorry that you have had another loss xxx No words can really be enough at this time for you.
Take care. You have lots of people who care here when you need us x
NB

maria09

Oh dear NB
I'm so sorry for your loss too
((((( )))))
Maria

dachshund

Hello DD
I hope everything going on alright.
take care
((((((((DD))))))))
joan xx

dreamdaisy

I haven't had any form of update so I guess the PM hasn't been done as yet. His son is proving to be very elusive and 'flaky' - he cannot cope in any way with what is happening but is being intransigent in allowing anyone else who can to help. This is adding an extra layer of stress to an already stressful situation; his two uncles and his aunt are running out of patience, which I can understand.

I am sorry to hear your news, NB, I hope that all is as well with you and yours as possible. DD

Mat48

Dear DD I'm so sorry to learn this through StickyWicket. My son has Aspergers so I understand some of the concerns you will all have about this situation. My thoughts are with you. Mat x

dreamdaisy

Well, I've just thoroughly upset myself with going through my mum's costume jewellery, some going back to the forties and fifties. The majority is going to my friend's greyhound charity car boot sale (one is held every month) so hopefully she will get some moneys towards whatever it is they do. I've kept three pieces, purely for sentimental reasons.

My cousin's son is 36 and is blissfully unaware of the extra upset he is causing other grieving relatives. He is exhibiting rather diva-like behaviour, I reckon someone's patience will soon snap. DD

Mat48

Oh dear DD. The thing about sudden death is that people divide into those who can to look straight at it, becoming practical and entering emergency mode - and those who don't or can't accept it at all - a little bit like being diagnosed with inflammatory arthritis really?

Everyone in my family who has died has gone suddenly and unexpectedly - car crashes, death by misadventure and heart failure - so I spend most of my life expecting it to happen to those who remain. I had to divide my mum's stuff up between myself and two profoundly deaf sisters and somehow they took all the nicest jewellery? There was so much history attached to each piece and my sisters are both younger and so I felt I had inherited a parental kind of role and had to be big about it. I'm also scarily unsentimental about most things and this threw my husband who really coveted things of both of my parents on my behalf.

I don't know much about your relationship with your late mother but I have found that the more complex a relationship the harder it is to come to terms with things. Take care and try not to be the one who snaps with this chap if possible. Mat x

dreamdaisy

I was expecting the deaths of my parents but this one came totally out of the blue. Luckily I live 120 miles away so am not directly involved. When my cousin rang about the news abouther brother I completely fell apart, whereas when the hospital rang with the news about my mum I 'knew' it was coming.

I've further upset myself. In sorting out a couple of rooms (ie moving the junk around) I found the remote to her kitchen telly. She complained it never worked and I can see why. She was putting either white tape on battery compartments or Tippex on remote controls (the on/off buttons) but on this remote she had surrounded the mute button. I knew her sight was bad but I hadn't realised how bad. DD

Mat48

I think sudden death is terribly difficult to digest and bear DD. The death of your cousin has obviously served to trigger further grief over your mother I would say.

I found that I dealt with my grief by doing what you're currently doing, but fortunately I was able to do this as an artist and this helped me turn something terrible painful into something creative and celebratory as well as investigative. I found her handbag that she had on her when she died a mine of information and ended up using bits and pieces, such as a Yeats poem scrawled on the back of her most recent cheque book - as clues to the things she was thinking about and doing in the run up to her sudden death.

So I turned detective - a bit as you are doing with your mother's tv remote. These things are very poignant and it's really not surprising you are so touched and distraught with it all. I still wear my late mum's watch and am surrounded by many of my late parents effects. I think someone has nicked or broken the little statue that my dad found in Equador some days before he drowned while swimming off an uninhabited Gallagan island - yes try that for difficult re getting my poor mum home with his body?! I'm trying to be philosophical about it but I keep searching because he touched it and thought about it just before he died so it seems like an important clue has gone missing to me?

Hopefully the funeral of your cousin will mark something that will then enable you to move on through the bereavement process and ultimately feel more positive again. It is so hard I know. Mat xx

dreamdaisy

I don't know when the funeral will be, I hope the PM has been done but apparently there will also be a Coroner's Inquest. My cousin has not left a will and we have no idea what his funeral wishes would be so we'll just muddle through. He played the organ at all the family funerals, his sister-in-law has always boasted about her musical prowess, I wonder if she will offer to do the honours for him?

I was surrounded by a fair bit of my mum's stuff and his, yesterday I wrapped it all up and stuck it in a box because the house looked very cluttered - well, more cluttered than usual. I also shunted round some furniture and table lamps, I'm paying the price today but no matter, stuff had to be done. DD

Mat48

You sound a little more cheery today at least. Hope this continues and you don't pay too high a price for all the stress with your PsA. Mat x

dachshund

Hello DD
i'm thinking about you I hope things are going on as best as they can.
((((((((DD))))))))
joan xx