I seem to have developed an attitude...

ouchpotato
ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
edited 18. Sep 2013, 04:53 in Living with Arthritis archive
Not a bad one I hasten to add, I don't go around kissing my teeth and eyeballing people or anything :lol: What I mean is, I have found my 'it's my life, I'll do it my way and if you don't like it don't look' kind of attitude.

Over the weekend I was so sick of pain, and trying to wash and blow dry my hair was hurting more and more. I recently had it cut from long to short, but even that had to be styled and played around with to get it looking good. So...on Saturday night I announced to my son that I was going to have a buzz cut. I gave him the clippers and away he went and I am now the proud owner of a VERY sassy almost-crew-cut. I know other people in my life will hate it, and many assumptions will be made about me, but I love it! My son did a great job, and now I don't have to struggle to bend over the bath every morning feeling like my back will break, a quick rub with the towel and it's dry so no more holding my hairdryer in the air. And actually, it looks very feminine. My son thinks it's great, very 'cool' apparently :lol:

Now...where did I put my doc martens? :lol:
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Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Woo hoo! Let's hear it for ouchpotato :P

    You look stunning, girl :D

    This isn't just about hair, is it? It's about taking control, being strong and - for once - putting yourself and your own needs first.

    Well done, ouchpotato! That's great news.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Susiesoo
    Susiesoo Member Posts: 358
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well done, ouchpotato, that was brave. You sound like a new woman. I'm sure you look like one, too :lol:

    Good for you!

    Susie
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sticky, thanks! And no it's not just about hair, you're right. It's about so much more...spending a year with a man who wouldn't even let me get my hair trimmed...dyeing my hair to cover the few bits of grey because women shouldn't look 'old'...(and my son has begged me not to dye my hair anymore as he says the grey looks really attractive!)

    I know mum will hate it, and my sister in law will think I am secretly gay, and I'm sure my older daughter thinks I have lost my marbles but that's ok...because I did it for no other reason than because I wanted to!

    x
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The others are perfectly entitled to their thoughts. They may think whatever they like and that's OK. What they can't do is use their own thoughts and opinions to control you. You are your own person now that he's gone. Enjoy it and celebrate it :D
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sounds as if a new chapter in your life has started ouch, well done you for starting anew and where to start with a new hairstyle, you look fab by the way.............Marie x
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aw, thanks you guys :D

    I do feel as if a new chapter is starting, for lots of reasons. I can't even put my finger on it, it's not all about ending the relationship, but for whatever reasons I feel good (albeit in pain).

    I am also going to fulfil an ambition I've had for the last few years, but have always allowed other things to get in the way. Have you heard of Nanowrimo? It's a worldwide challenge where people attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. I've wanted to do it for a long time now, but always put other things first and never found the time. This time, however, I WILL do it! No excuses. I have always wanted to write a book and now I am going to! So there!!! :lol:
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Change of hairstyle is great. I have many female friends with crew cuts and they look fine.

    I grew my hair after my separation/ divorce because he liked it short and I did have a crew cut myself years ago. Its about being able to choose to do things your way.

    All the best,

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You sound like a brand new woman and I feel like I've just been posting to a totally different ouch about feeling low! You sound so much happier and free! I hope this positive attitude stays with you a long time you deserve it.
  • Toots
    Toots Member Posts: 483
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good for you Ouch! I've had my hair longer for a while now and it's getting on my nerves. I just put it up in a messy knot most of the time but everyone keeps telling me oh no don't get it cut. Washing it is a real hassle now though, and if I'm honest I don't have the patience or interest to do anything with it!!

    You sound so positive, I love it!
    Toots x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Mine has been cut shorter and shorter over the past year and I don't care in the slightest what others think about how it (and I) look. If I don't care why should they? It makes my life easier and that is what counts.

    Good for you my girl, I hope you can hang on to this new-found (and necessary) confidence and get from it all that you need to carry on going forwards with your new life. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You're all so lovely! You sound genuinely delighted with my upturn in mood and attitude - I get far more support from this forum than I do in real life, so thankyou all from the bottom of my heart.

    Have any of you seen The Walking Dead on tv? My son says I remind him of the character in that, Carol. She started off in series one as a mousy woman who was with an abusive woman beater. He gets eaten by a zombie :lol: and now, in series 3, she is a 'bad ****' as my son describes her.
    On the other hand I saw the local dentist today who I have had a girly crush on for ages...my daughter said 'oh well, doesn't matter now, he probably thinks you're a lesbian'!

    Ah kids...they certainly keep you grounded!
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,791
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ouchpotato wrote:
    Aw, thanks you guys :D

    I am also going to fulfil an ambition I've had for the last few years, but have always allowed other things to get in the way. Have you heard of Nanowrimo? It's a worldwide challenge where people attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. I've wanted to do it for a long time now, but always put other things first and never found the time. This time, however, I WILL do it! No excuses. I have always wanted to write a book and now I am going to! So there!!! :lol:

    My sister recently painted 30 paintings in 30 days so I get that!!!! Go you girl and as for your hair I totally understand it too :)

    Oddly enough mine is long for very similar reasons - whenever I have it shorter doing the 'style' is too much for me I too wash and leave it now.

    Your son sounds a great bloke and he is right I bet you look fantastic :D

    Go Ouchpotato
    k015.gif

    love

    Toni xxx
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Toni, wow, I wish I could paint but unfortunately I am limited to stick men! But I do love writing. Now the kids are back at school/college I take myself off into town and settle down in a squishy sofa (plays havoc when I try and move again though) with my notebooks and pens and sometimes my laptop and plot and plan and figure out ways of writing exes into the story so I can make them suffer in horrible ways, lol. I then move to the library and carry on before I give myself caffeine poisoning.

    My son IS a remarkable young man. I am very proud of him; he's very protective of me but at the same time doesn't fuss - he towers over me at 6 foot plus, but is a big softie when it comes to mum! He plays guitar in a band, writes songs, hangs out with his friends but always gives me a kiss goodbye, and hugs me and tells me he loves me and doesn't care who's around to hear it. I'm very lucky.

    x
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It sounds like you have terrific kids, ouchpotato.

    Good for you going for it with your writing!! :D

    ((()))anna
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well done Ouch
    What a transformation :wink:

    My hair is short {not crew} for practical reasons and I'm happy with it but a lot of people in the family aren't but.....so what...my hair my life :lol:

    What a great idea "getting pens and pencils and heading into town and sitting down to write . In know the squishy sofas you mean......they are a problem when you get out {or when I get out of them} Do they have what I call bucket chairs.....I find they are more comfortable. Soft but not squishy :lol:
    You certainly wont get depressed if you are heading out most days...I think that's fantastic

    Love

    Hileena
  • lulubell69
    lulubell69 Member Posts: 110
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good for you, go for it.
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hey Ouch! You go girl!!
    I've just left along post on your other post
    Great news its time you started to be kind to yourself
    Maria :)
  • kentishlady
    kentishlady Member Posts: 809
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good for you Ouch. It's great to hear you sounding so much happier. Am glad to hear your children are being so supportive, especially that your Son is a tower of strength for you, so is mine! Aren't we lucky. Take care. Beryl. xx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ooh good for you ouch...can you send your son round here...he can cut mine then dye it red... : come on you arthritics lets show um :lol: xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Shall we call ourselves 'sore but sassy'??? :lol:

    Well I had a productive morning; found a comfy (but not too squashy) armchair in Starbucks, and had a caramellate whilst shaping my characters. I'm going to give my main character's mum ankylosing spondylitis (poor lady) or some other form of arthritis, and show that it's not an old person's disease. It will also show that it's not all doom and gloom...it's going to be a humorous novel, and my main character's mother is hippy (ish), eccentric, colourful, funny and warm, and will deal with her condition the way everyone on here does...with strength and dignity and humour (DD, your line about not wearing knickers on a bad day will HAVE to go in!!!)

    Then was even more cheered when I went into Primarni and saw...wait for it...CHRISTMAS jumpers! Yaaayyy....I adore Christmas, and the sight of snowmen with carrot noses sticking out of the jumpers, and 'nice baubles' emblazoned across the chest did me the world of good! Me and the kids have decided we are all going to get cheesy Christmas jumpers, and wear them at the same time for a tongue-in-cheek Christmas photo, very American style - our Holiday portrait! My son wants to have a pipe in his mouth and be leaning on the fireplace!

    Barbara, I will gladly lend my son out to you...he is really very good, lol. He's studying photography at A Level, maybe we could all do a calendar shoot :lol:

    Beryl, was it your son who bought you the gel? It made me smile when I read that because it made me think of my own son.

    Hileena...it would be easy to get dragged down by staying indoors every day. I don't have to pay on the bus, so it costs me nothing to go off and do my thing. It's a nationwide bus pass too, so if the mood takes me I can take myself to other towns. When I'm a bit flush (haha, chance would be a good thing) I can get a coffee, when I'm not I can go to libraries. I was in danger last year of becoming a bit of a hermit, and it's a slippery slope, so this year I'm determined to do something about it.

    x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Barbara, I will gladly lend my son out to you...he is really very good, lol. He's studying photography at A Level, maybe we could all do a calendar shoot :lol:
    I'm up for that...can I be May that when my birthday is.... :lol: calender girls watch out... :lol:
    Love
    Barbara
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    barbara12 wrote:
    I'm up for that...can I be May that when my birthday is.... calender girls watch out...
    Barbara, I will gladly lend my son out to you...he is really very good, lol. He's studying photography at A Level, maybe we could all do a calendar shoot :lol:
    I'm up for that...can I be May that when my birthday is.... :lol: calender girls watch out... :lol:

    Ok, May it is Barbara. What will be your theme?
    I will bagsy December, as my birthday falls then. Anyone have 2 rather large Christmas puddings going spare? :D

    x
  • thistlegirl
    thistlegirl Member Posts: 229
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ouch you sound so great!!! you have obviously made some brilliant changes to your life and are focusing on keeping only the good things close-your kids are brilliant.
    I always think great earrings go with short hair. Doc martins-used to wear them in my teens but my fingers hurt just thinking about those laces now!

    Your book sounds like a brilliant idea, maybe you can set it over Christmas as you love it so much? I would love to see what you create if you are up for sharing when you finish it- I also offer my proof reading services if you want?

    Keep doing what you are doing it is obviously working.

    Thistle
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Idea for the book, how about a twist on sex in the city! With Arthritic Samantha who gets stuck in sexual positions! :lol: And Carrie having to buy flat shoes and clothes with popper buttons instead of designer shoes and clothes! It's going to be fun thinking of idea's for a book!!
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Ouch
    You sound fantastic.....keep it up.
    You are so right about not staying in. A couple of winters ago I could hardly drag myself out of the house ...especially in the mornings but I've got over that now....it was a close call.
    I've got a bus pass as well....I've also got a car but its a nuisance driving everywhere....Don't get me wrong...wouldn't be without it but a lot of times just to relax.....getting on the bus and going is so much more relaxing.
    I just wish I was creative.....your book sounds great.

    Love
    Hileena
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