I could cry, I'm going out of my mind!!!

DebbieT

Hi,

I need to spill how bad I am coz I'm losing the plot.

My psoriasis is driving me around the twist ... The itching & pain is becoming unbearable, I don't know how much longer I can cope!!

On the back of my right hand alone I have 15 with another 20 under the surface waiting to erupt any minute. My palm is covered under the surface too My back is covered, well EVERYWHERE is. My scalp feels like I'm wearing a too tight swimming cap ... Its so bad my hair is swerving around the bigger plaques!!

Sorry, I loathe moaning but getting it out, so to speak, really can help me at times.

No need for comments.
Thanks all.xxx

thistlegirl

Oh Debbie is there anything you can do!!!!
It sounds like your body has shut down after everything it has had to cope with over the last few weeks you have had?

Is there any bath/cream you can lather yourself in, I don't know much about psoriasis I am afraid :roll:

Could the GP give you anything??

Having a couch day myself so here if you need me.

Big gentle healing cooling hugs to you

Jenny

DebbieT

I don't tolerate most of the new topical treatments but I have everything on them I can & I've taken antihistamines. It's so frustrating.

Thank you huni. I hope you enjoy ure couch day

(((( )))) xxx

Kittkat

Hello Debbie I have severe psoriasis myself so I feel your pain! The only things I can suggest are soothing bath, anti-histamines for the itch( you can get some from the docs that are for people with skin conditions if you havn't already), moisturising and relaxing if possible. I personally like aveeno moisturiser the plain one and bathing in bicarbonate of soda helps me also.
Hopefully you will get some relief soon
Take care xx

dreamdaisy

Oh dear, this is not surprising but so very frustrating and uncomfortable. This is how our blighted bodies respond to the extra stresses and strains of one of life's biggest and saddest moments, just do what you can and be very kind to yourself, OK? Things will ease and pass but not immediately. DD

DebbieT

Thank you KittKatt & DD,

Mine has never reacted to stress b4 in all my 18yrs with it, it's infections that cause flares with me ... Do you think that can change??

I've taken my antihistamines & am slathered in moisturizer, I use Dermol 500, its my body wash too. Other than that I can only tolerate crude coal tar & coal tar in betnovate .... Crude coal tar isn't made anymore & the coal tar one is £200 per tube at the moment so I've only been given betnovate rd :? :roll:

I can't get in & out of the bath or I'd live in it at the moment!!

Thanks ladies ... Its very much appreciated!!xxx

dreamdaisy

My GP prescribed me something called Doublebase (there maybe a Gel at the end, I can't remember and I don't want to plod down the stairs just yet to find out). It is very soothing - well, it is for me.

Our bodies change throughout our lives, just because something has happened before doesn't mean it it won't happen now. Have you ever been under such a stress level before? The death of a parent takes us into a whole new area of the human experience. DD

barbara12

Oh Debbie I do think our body's change has we get older..I was in my 30s when I lost my mum ...and in my 40s when I lost my dad...and I had a massive asthma attacked...and I dont have asthma..or didn't..and I was told it was a reaction to shock...so I am pretty sure this is what going on with you...I hope you can get soemthing to ease it...sorry I'm not much help..(((()))xx

stickywicket

I don't have psoriasis. My Mum did, only on her scalp, but I can remember her wanting to tear her hair out with it. It must be dreadful to have that feeling everywhere on top of all your other problems. I've no words of wisdom just a few more very gentle ones ((()))

purpleowl

Hi Debbie,

I'm so sorry that you are so poorly, I have had Psoriasis so I know what you are going through. Mine started shortly after my father died 10 years ago but I have been put on Methotrexate which has kept it under control for 6 years.

I only had it on my hands and soles of my feet which gave me a lot of problems.

The topical medication didn't really work for me either, I found a great comfort in slathering on Hydromol but you've probably tried all that, it's an excellent moisturiser which feels like silk when you put it on with warm water.

I used to wear white cotton gloves on my hands, they were so soft and I don't know what I would have done without them. One day when I was at a well known supermarket this middle aged guy came up to me and started making fun of me he asked me why I wanted to look like Michael Jackson!! What a pr*t I told him I wasn't wearing them for fun.

I'll be thinking of you today and hoping you will be better soon,

Trish xx

DebbieT

Thank you, truly. The moan alone helped & then you've all been so understanding too ... Amazing!!

DD & Barbara in 2004 my hubby was very sick & hospitalized many times, we didn't know if he'd survive & I had 4 much younger children then. I do think you all could be on to something tho, I know I've barely began to grieve. Im glad I've got counselling next week, I think I need it

SW, I feel for wot ure Mum went thru, it can be very painful, itchy & claustrophobic on ure scalp

Trish that's awful!!! Why are people so cruel & insensitive I've had to use the white gloves wen I had pustular pop up on my hands 2yrs ago, they are so soft ... The thick & greasy ointments I use ruined them quickly tho.
I'm so sorry for ure loss too, it seems we're approaching, well I am, the age where our parents & aunties etc will all start to pass .... It's not easy to except!! Thank you for sharing ure story, it does help knowing I'm not alone tho I'd much rather no one else suffered!!

I normally plod on with my skin but this flare really is taking it out of me. The timing is awful.

I've very few things I can use DD. I've spent 6wks trialing treatments as I burn with so many, I'm extremely limited unfortunately.

I think I'll try & read, it may take my mind off of it.
Thank you all.xxx

barbara12

Debbie these things do pile up and catch you when you least expect it...but they also with time go away....you need to let go and grieve...and keep talking....and more important is to try and have some me time...((())xx

dibdab

Hi Debbie,

Sorry I haven't anything to add to all the wise folks who have it too-I have RA, but understanding how losing a parent can catch up-lost my lovely dad a few years ago, and even now occasionally a song or a view catches me out and makes me cry.

Just wanted to send some care and thoughts really. Take good care of yourself and keep talking- we're always here to listen when you need us.

Deb xx

ouchpotato

Debbie, I can't even begin to imagine how distressing it must be for you and I can't offer any advice, but just wanted to say I was thinking of you.

x

DebbieT

Thank you so much Deb & Ouch,

Ouch you look after ureself!! (((( ))))

Barbara I know ure right & I am heartbroken but I can't seem to let it out, it's in little bursts, really little!! I did let a bigger chunk out at the funeral but I just can't seem to access my grief, I feel like my family think I'm heartless & couldn't have cared as much as my mouth says. Hope this is making sense?!

Deb ure insight & honesty helped me a lot to say things i needed to in his final days ... Even the hardest .... That he didn't need to fight anymore, we'd all look after Mum etc ... He died an hour later

Arrggghhhhh, I feel like my skin is suffocating me :roll:

xxx

dreamdaisy

Debbie, we don't grieve to order - and I think that the fact you still have your mum makes a significant difference. Both Mr DD and me discovered that when our dads died we didn't really get to grips with it because we were preoccupied with our mums and their needs. Our personal grief needs go by the board - this could well be why your skin is doing what it is. DD

DebbieT

Oh DD thank you. It's so hard to understand myself at the moment so knowing that how I'm feeling is resonating with you is a relief, I'm normal, phew!!

Thank you SO much. I'm really sorry Mr DD & ureself have been thru this & more. I dread losing Mum :?

xxx

dreamdaisy

Our dads went within ten months of each other, then eleven years later our mums within six. It's the one guarantee of life (if one has a clever accountant taxes are not the other) but we never know when it will come. We all blunder through these things thinking we are the only ones who have ever felt like this but we're not. Humans vary so much in their outward appearances but with life's experiences we are all very similar.

Grief is one of the stranger emotions we have, it is not straightforward, easy or understandable; out of the blue it can knock us off our feet and then we don't think about the departed for a little while but, when we do, we feel very guilty about 'forgetting' them. It's far from easy and the stress it puts upon us can appear in other ways. DD

villier

Debbie, you come on and let off steam anytime you want we are always here to listen. I am afraid I can't give you any advice for your psoriasis as I have only recently acquired the blighter on my scalp and the back of my neck, the lotions my doctor gave me seems to be controlling it at the moment. Here's hoping you get some relief soon, some gentle (((()))) for you..................Marie xx

elainebadknee

Debbie

I don't have psoriasis myself but wanted to offer words of support, it sounds truly awful..As I don't know about it or your troubles of late as haven't been on here, I guess stress may play a part even if it hasn't before, guess the body takes so much then it breaks up?
I feel bad now for hating my blocked saliva duct, seems trivial!

Hope it gets better, can't someone plaster some stuff on you or if you can;t get in the bath sit in a shower stool?

Elainexx

Boomer13

Debbie;

When my dad died, grieving took a very long time for me. I was startled by the depth of emotion I went through and now I believe the connection between child & parent is a more profoundly and deeply emotional one than we realise. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, but the emotional and spiritual part when gone through after a death seems to reveal it's own depth through time. In my case, it was not what I expected because I had such a troubled relationship with my dad. I had expected I would get through it quickly, and the time when he had been sick would prove itself to be the hardest part. Not so.

What actually happened was a period of relief that he had died, then thought and reflection on our somewhat difficult relationship, then grief that came and went in waves for a very long time.

Sorry, I can't say there was a single predictable thing about it. Now when I look back, the stress around his illness had built up for a long time and been put on the back-burner when caregiving was required. When he died, the stress was the first thing to come out, not the grief. It was overwhelming and guilt-ridden because I felt it was wrong to feel so relieved and focused on myself. It was just self-preservation kicking in to heal from all the stress and exhaustion. As usual for me, my expectations got in the way and I couldn't understand why I wasn't grieving. This was all 20ish years ago now and I still find his death and my experience of it one of the most profound things I've ever been through.

Hope this makes sense. I know we are all different, but just wanted to send you support. Be extra nice to yourself, what you are going through is very difficult. ((()))
Anna

kentishlady

Hello Debbie. I am so sorry you are feeling so rough and do hope you will feel a little better soon. You have had to deal with so much recently and it's hardly surprising that you are now having such a bad time.

Do take care of yourself. Am sending lots of 'Get Well Soon' thoughts and a few (((()))) as well. Beryl. xx

DebbieT

I truly can't thank each & everyone of you enough, I don't think I'd have made it thru today without tearing my skin off (not a good look or idea ) without all of ure posts & kindness & then this evening I've had our Grandson as a distraction, bliss

The support, shared experiences & so easily understood (now) stories of losing a Dad ... I knew it was hard, I know it will continue to be so but I wasn't prepared for THIS!!! You all know wot I mean even tho I can't find the words .... Thank you SO so much ((((((group))))))

Hopefully I'll cope better tomorrow coz I really need to be going around Mums daily to continue with paperwork, she seems to have a frozen brain. I think it must be a good coping mechanism!!

Thanks for keeping me going.xxx

frogmorton

Hi Debbie

Gosh you are having an awful time aren't you

Like you, when my Dad died I ended up supporting my Mum daily with it all so my grieving was put largely on hold really until she died 4 years later. Just because you aren't crying all the time does NOT mean you don't care. I expect the family do know this really. I think mine were relieved because they leaned on me!

I do hope you have woken up this morning and your skin is slightly better :?

Love and gentle itch-free ((()))

Toni xxx

dreamdaisy

Hello Debbie, my Ma had frozen brain syndrome too for a while after Pa's funeral. I wasn't much better so my husband did the paperwork etc, being that one step removed it was easier for him (plus he deals with official stuff all the time). I think your Ma is feeling a bewildering array of emotions such as shock, grief, fear, loss, anger, all the things that are thrown at one after the death of a loved-one. She will be needing a deal of support over the next few weeks but make sure you don't wear yourself out in the process, she will weather the storm, possibly with the added help of her GP.

Meanwhile, I hope things are feeling at least a little better for you today. DD

kentishlady

Just wanted to say I hope today is a little easier for you, Debbie. Thinking of you and sending a few (((()))) Beryl