I give up!.

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mellman01
mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
edited 24. Mar 2014, 04:51 in Living with Arthritis archive
Right I give up they win I loose I can't do this anymore.
I haven't seen my GP for over two years basically because he's pretty useless in the round, I was forced to go because I've I've been having eye sight problems and the option wanted me to have a blood check for diabetes which came back clear, my concern is me mum has low pressure glaucoma which is tricky to spot, anyway the long and the short of it is he's not interested in that and kept on about cataracts although the option can't see an sign of them so now Ive got to go back to the options and see if she will send my to the local eye hospital (thats how they found me mum's problem).
Also while I was sitting there he kept repeating he can't understand why I have such pain!, God only knows what planet he's on but I'm sure if I hadn't cut in he would have told me I'm focusing on the pain to much, where do these people come form?, he also said with the amount of OA I have I shouldn't be in much pain, now I had a double knee OP in 2008 and was told then by the surgeon on a scale of 1-10, 10 being a knee replacement I was at a 7, the thing is I have OA in my neck and have suffered with constant neck pain since an RTA in 1981, he was one of the GP's who refused to give me any pain killers for years and this I'm told by the neurologist is why I have chronic neuropathic pain now, its so painful I am physically sick and I have no defence against it yet this clown is trying to tell me how much pain I am meant to feel, I really wish he could spend a day in my shoes then maybe he would shut the hell up and assist me rather than talk down with me, I'm also starting to think he's probably the one who's nobbled my blue page application, I know they don't directly ask your GP about their view but I'm sure they cross check with him to see if I really have what I say I have.
I'm not sure what to do, there's something seriously wrong when I spent 3 years post OP trying to find an answer to what had destroyed my life and had given up until I had a consultation with a Neurologist who asked me 2 simple questions and in less than 5 minutes confirmed I was telling the truth and wasn't going mad as I'd seriously started to believe thanks to people like him telling my I'm making it up or as good as, yet even now this excuse of a GP refuses to accept OA can be painful!.
Sorry to rant but I am pig sick of it all, I have not slept because the neuropathic pain is coming back so I've spent all night in bed with that horrible sickly cold pressure that comes before the real physical sickness, now don't get me wrong I'm not there just yet but at times like this in the dead of the night I have seriously considered death would be a blessed release, I'm just so worn down with arguing my corner and not being believed, I'm in pain and have been told the pain will be so bad in the end I will be begging for an operation yet I'm being question as to why I have so much pain, Ive lost my job, my freedom, my social life and those I considered good friends over this, Ive run out of options. To top it all he warned me having an OP could make things a lot worse which is exactly what the neurologist has said so I'm well and truly up s***s creak without a paddle. he also asked me if I go out walking!, what planet is this man on!!?, yeah right two weeks ago I went for a short walk round the village and it sat me on my backside for several days and thats how it is with me, I told the blue badge woman I can go out but later on in the day my knees get red and hurt like hell so much so I can't even stand up to cook the T which I loved to do and I might as well have told her the Earth was flat for all the good it did. It seems as if this symptom isn't how its meant to be so God only knows what they want me to say?. They also seem to think because I have Dihydrocodine pain med's all should be well but I find I get off my head and still can feel that sickly acidic knee pain there hovering in the background so I know later inn unless I stay on planet Codeine I'm in for a rough time when bed time comes around, I don't want to be a smack head but that seems where they want me, how ironic for years I couldn't get any pain med's and now when they're not much help I can get them by the bucket load, no doubt if I ended up that way I'd get another lecture about how I'm really a hypochondriac and drug abusers who's making it all up so I can get high as a kite for free.
Sorry my spleen is exceedingly full so if you've got to the end of this rant then I thank you for being so patient with me I'm a tad fragile and slightly depressed right now:x
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Comments

  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I am sorry you are in so much pain and not being listened to. There are good meds out there that can help with neuropathic pain. I'm not sure what your situation is but can you see a different GP?

    Since you are so desperately painful, it seems to me it is their job to help you with that. You shouldn't have to suffer this much.

    Take care,
    Anna
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi
    Why don't you change GP's if there isn't another one in the practice you can see.
    How often do you get eye testes now....it should be every year rather than 2 years {my mam has glaucoma}
    I think a lot of us have had to chang GP's to get satisfaction

    Love
    Hileena
  • bridesmum
    bridesmum Member Posts: 181
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh I can sympathise so much with you. I really do think you should change gp's, yours sounds like a horror! Take care, Deb
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I got to the end of it Mell..I had a feeling this was coming after all the kickbacks... the badge being the icing in the cake... :roll:
    Not sure how easy it is to change your GP..or make a complaint...other than that you bite the bullet go back and have it out with them..so wish I could help more..and so glad you got all that out...xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Mell, what ever you do, don't give up! Don't let the blighters grind you down.
    I agree with the others, you should change doctors if possible, or at the very least ask for a second opinion.
    You've had an awful lot to contend with recently, and by the sounds of it, very little help or compassion, so little wonder you're feeling depressed. Fight on mate, it's the only way.
    Chin up and take care, (((())))
    Numpty
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Mell I hope today is a little better for you..hopefully the rant will have helped...xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Mel don't you dare give up,fight fight and then fight some more,you're worth more than letting them grind you down .sending hugs (((()))) Mig
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Just sending hugs (((((((((( ))))))))))).
    I'm not surprised you feel so desperate, like the others I would suggest if at all possible a change of GP.

    Please keep talking to us, it might help.

    Deb x
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    More (((()))) from me Mell, I feel for you I live with chronic neuropathic pain also and know what you are going through, like the rest can you change your GP, I am lucky my GP looks after me well. Hang n there buddy you know at least we are all behind you..............................Marie x
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • toady
    toady Member Posts: 2,275
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Read every word mell. Doctors live on planet well person, and in my experience, well & not particularly imaginative person to boot. Change your gp if at all possible, he sounds awful. Ask around for a prior idea of who might be a better bet. I never thought doctors necessarily knew everything but I used to at least assume they weren't idiots.. after some of the witless, offensive, & daft things I've had said to me (better not repeat them here but I've had some corkers) I think differently these days. The fact that your neurologist was able to cut straight to the point backs up that you know your own self best, don't let a dead loss of a GP make you doubt that. Stick to your guns & push to be heard. Yes you shouldn't have to be the one going back to ask for an eye hospital referral but that seems to be the way things often are.

    All doctors need a day in their patients' shoes and I have read very interesting accounts of doctors who got ill and how it utterly changed their textbook view of illness. That seems to be what it takes. All the best chap.
  • Helenbothknees
    Helenbothknees Member Posts: 487
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Don't give up, change GP! In some areas it's very easy, all you have to do is go to the new practice and ask if you can change. But if they need a reason, complaining about one of their colleagues, even at another practice, is not usually a good idea. So come up with a reason which appears to be your problem, eg interpersonal problems which make you feel unable to see your present doctor.

    I did just that many years ago. In my case the new practice was refusing to take anyone from out of area, but said if I had a good reason I could write to the practice manager. I wrote a 4-page letter explaining that owing to a few unfortunate incidents I now had a complete phobia about all the doctors at the first practice (ie NOT "they're all useless and are more likely to kill someone than cure them", even though that's what I really meant). I said it was probably my fault, but I effectively now had no GP. Result - they took me on! Even the receptionists didn't believe it and kept telling me I was out of area, and I kept explaining that their own practice manager had okayed it.
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I agree that you need to change your GP if you can. I expect the blue badge people did have some contact with him and this is likely to be why you were scuppered even with lots of medical evidence from other sources.

    I'm not surprised you feel so frustrated as you seem to have had bad advice and inadequate care for a long time.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • celebrationb
    celebrationb Member Posts: 134
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Don't give up, fight fight.
    Lots of hugs
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi all thanks so much for your support I'm humbled by all your posts, its such a bitter sweet life the OA pain really grinds me down both mentally and physically but if I was fit and able I'd have never met such decent people like you its the biggest up side to such a nasty illness. That said the neuropathic flare seems to be gone only to be replaced with serious neck pain, the neck and knees seem to be working shifts these days!. Anyway the suns out here and spring is in the air at long last so I've got to sort my Mason bee nest tubes out before they hatch, I've got over 600 full tubes in storage so at least I have something to distract me for a bit.
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Distraction is good :D
    I'm pleased you sound a bit more positive, keep on keeping on.
    Numpty
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Cheers ND, its the neuropathic pain thats the problem it creeps in and changes how I feel and think it does it very time, I call it Jekyll and Hyde but that said its gone now but my neck OA is kicking off but at least pain killers can help there, oh and I've just made me bee frame and my knees weren't to bad so thats another bonus and its sunny here springs on its way at long last!.
  • fortuna
    fortuna Member Posts: 149
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    As the others have said you must change your GP. Pleased your "rant" has got some of it off your chest and that you are feeling a little brighter. It is so frustrating not to be understood and continually being fobbed off.
    (((( )))) Hugs you need them!
    Fortuna
  • toady
    toady Member Posts: 2,275
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    mellman01 wrote:
    Anyway the suns out here and spring is in the air at long last so I've got to sort my Mason bee nest tubes out before they hatch, I've got over 600 full tubes in storage so at least I have something to distract me for a bit.

    That sounds fascinating - I'm working my way round to hopefully getting a lot of bee & butterfly friendly plants, I've often half thought about getting some bee & insect homes as well - if I ever dredge up the necessary energy I may go into it further. :) Glad your pain has shifted a bit even if just to push off somewhere else for a change. :roll:
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Firstly I apologies for not thanking you all for your last posts of support, now then this gets more bizarre as it goes on. I've not done anything about appeal as it says in capitol letters I can't do so, they also refused my offer of putting things down in writing post assessment, I asked to do so because in my eyes the assessor was so of the mark it was blatantly obvious she either wasn't up to the job and or was only interested in making a case against me so I wanted to put the record straight incase I wanted to apply later on, as for the assessor she ignored my description of life during a neuropathic flare and how doing to mcu walking increase the risks of a flare, she also totally ignored and didn't even mention the main reason I have the chronic neuropathic problem I.E the cervical spondulosis, I told her thats why I don't use arm crutches as it loads my neck and causes me a lot of pain so there's no gain. the list goes on but get this, I've been looking on the web at blue badge assessment failures in Oxfordshire and I have come across a page on the Oxford council site saying a) you can appeal and b) you can do so in writing!.
    Right now I'm angry as hell, and not sure what to do about it, there's so much she missed it was ridicules, any advice would be welcome as this is a bit to big to get me head around at the moment, I feel Ive be seriously discriminated against but don't know what to do for the best?.
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Did she tell you you couldn't appeal? Is there a time limit for the appeal? If still able to appeal then I would do so Mell quoting everything you know they have failed to take into consideration .

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Cheers Elizabeth, after being on the site for some time they hit me with a questionnaire about what I thought of the site and what I was looking for and some views so I've responded asking if the info was correct as I'd been told in writing that I can't appeal or submit any written evidence to support any appeal, I also added that my reason for wanting to is because in my view I was severely discriminated against under the equalities act 2010. I added this as I also found the .Gov guidelines for assessing blue badge applicants mentions illnesses such as RA and OA it also refers to a specific subsection in the equalities act for these illnesses, chronic fatigue syndrome as well as FIbro and neuropathic pain.
    I tell you what though Liz I was right royally turned over by the girl and the team at Oxford council, I had a feeling I would be as she wasn't interested in my supporting paperwork or what I had to say on post mobility pain. They should adopt a sign of a kipper as they have certainly stitch me up like one. :roll: :x
  • Lubs
    Lubs Member Posts: 155
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Mell,

    Do you see a neurologist for the neuropathic pain? I do and he is more helpful than some GPs and rheumatologists, as I can find then increasing annoying.

    In fact ever since a misdiagnosis by my GP and very strong complaint from my mother my GP is very very careful in how he deals with me and goes out of his way to explain his reasoning. He's scared of my mother!

    To help with your complaint to the blue badge scheme, there are local charities that will help to write your complaint, Arthritis Care being one of them. You will not be the only one this women dealt with, so I am sure they will understand. Just search for local office no. Or which day of the month they meet in your area.

    Good luck!
    Lubs
  • salamander
    salamander Member Posts: 1,906
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Mellman, I would contact the councillor who is in charge of social care and wellbeing, or whatever they call the post these days. I would also contact my MP.
  • destiny0321
    destiny0321 Member Posts: 88
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    hi i read all your letter i would say it was more frustration than a good rant but i agree with the others get yourself another dr yours sounds as though he should not be called a dr i would not like his bedside manner.
    keep on fighting because when it all comes out you can old your head up high & not your gp he ought to have it & he will know just how painful it can be. good luck, keep fighting,make your self heard, we are all behind you.destiny xxxx((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))) kisses & hugs for you
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi all thank you so much for all your highly useful advice, I am going to write a letter to the top manager of the social care unit this weekend and send it recorded delivery so I know they will get it, I'm also in the process of changing not just my GP but the surgery as well as it is they who have left me like this, I had an RTA in 1981 and they wouldn't give me any pain med's for years, it was only after Id gone back for the 5th time that I got a neck X Ray in 2003 when they found I had OA in two places in my neck, sadly because they never gave me any pain control it then kicked off the neurological problem when I had the knee OP in 2008, and then it took me 3 years of GP visits to get a scan, by then it was to late, both these problem then gave me neuropathic pain, again it took me another 3 years to see a neurologist and I had to use private health insurance for the appointment. So if any of you move to Oxfordshire DONT move to Wallingford or Crowmarsh or you'll end up in my surgery!, you have been warned. Lastly who or where do I need to go on here to get complaint letter advice?. Sorry to ask but I can't concentrate much at the mo my necks really bad, its like Ive been in a really bad RTA even the Dihydrocodeine isn't helping much.