Real insurance claims

stickywicket

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."

"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."

theresak

Ha ha!! I like no.3 - we've often met Highland cattle on the roads in the north of Scotland.I shall think of no.3 whenever it happens in future!

Slosh

Love them

frogmorton

What's even funnier is how many are just just mistakes punctuation errors!!!

stickywicket

And a couple more:

I bumped into a shop window and sustained injuries to my wife.

Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?

dreamdaisy

I like them! One of my favourites was written when in-car telephones were a novelty: I was changing the CD when the 'phone rang.' DD