It didn't surprise me when I found a small hole in a fairly old fitted bottom sheet a few weeks before Christmas. I replaced the sheet and thought that was that. Today I was making the bed and found another hole, bottom sheet, tiny, jagged, as if it had been torn rather than worn. I instantly turned into Victoria Meldrew and Mr SW, who was passing the bedroom door, came in to see what all the fuss was about. I explained.
“Oh” he said placidly, “It'll be the bracelet from my watch” and, diagnosis complete, turned to go.
“But it's the second sheet in just over a month” I protested.
“I always wear my watch in bed.”
“Well, you'll have to stop. I can't keep buying sheets at this rate.”
He sighed at the injustice of it.
“There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken