Feeling somewhat defeated..

daffy2

Fatigue is part and parcel of life thanks to fibro, poor sleep and OA joint pain, but after several weeks with no let up and various other things adding themselves to the mix I decided that I probably ought to see a doctor. Tried booking online 24th July - no routine appointments available in any of the 4 weekly slots(ie up to 27th August), couldn't get through by phone so called in on the Monday. First available appt 24th August.And this is to see any GP, not my preferred one. Only other option is to turn up for the 8am jumble sale for appts released on the day.The only morning that would have been possible during the week I fell asleep on the sofa after my morning cuppa(it had been a diabolical night) and so was too late.
Saturday my back kept going into spasm and my feet were so swollen and tender that walking was difficult, just to add to the general grot. I decided to go into work as paindullers were doing nothing and the company and distraction, together with having to move around, were likely to be better than sitting at home feeling bad.
I looked into getting accepted onto the list for a nearby village surgery, but I live 100yds the wrong side of the railway which they use as a boundary for their catchment...
Just to add to the fun and games one of my sisters seems to have decided that I must celebrate my birthday and has been presenting plans to my son and daughter, which include her coming to stay with me, together with one of her daughters(she hasn't told me yet, nor which night this might happen). At the moment feeling like I do,the one thing I had organised for myself that I really want to do on my birthday may not be possible and I certainly don't want to be bothered with visitors, but she lives abroad, is rarely in this country so will be very hurt if I say No. She doesn't know about my health problems because she would try and fix me and I can't face that. She did that with my other sister and it wasn't nice, despite being so well meant.
Sorry folks this all sounds a bit pathetic but as I live by myself, it's down to me to sort things out - but I just don't have the oomph to do it at present. Dealing with the GP situation is bad enough but the emotional wear and tear from my sister is just too much. Thank heavens the sun is out and I can go and potter in the garden, although actual gardening is out until my back stops pinging.

Numptydumpty

Dear Daffy, you don't sound at all pathetic! I know how difficult things are when you're alone, it's not fun, and can be quite overwhelming at times. Well meaning friends and family can be tricky to handle, if you find a way, do let us know
I hope you enjoy your pottering, I'm doing much the same today, it is a glorious day.
Take care (((())))
Numpty

stickywicket

I do get the oomphlessness. You are, as DD would say, enfeebled.

Re the appointments. None online doesn't surprise me. My surgery only posts online slots for non-remotely-urgent cases but, on a 'take what's available' basis, it's always possible to get a same day appointment if one rings before 10am. However, a different local surgery was just like yours. Queue literally – not in a phone queue - at 8am to be in with a chance. I believe, in the end, the patients complained. I'm not sure whether it was to the MP, the local councillor or who but I'm told it has changed.

Families. Yeeees. Tell me about it :roll: I'm not sure how you can get to do what you wish on your birthday unless you come at least a little clean on your health issues. Could you arrange a few days with your sister and niece at a hotel somewhere (ie not so much hostessing) near, rather than on, your birthday? Could you get your son and daughter on your side? And / or, indeed, your other sister? They must all be aware of how controlling their aunt is.

daffy2

Thank you both. Writing it all down, then pottering in the sun, bundling up lavender to finish drying, having a cup of tea, have made things more manageable.
Part of the reason for feeling so down about the surgery situation is that there isn't really anything they can do,judging from what the Practice Manager told me last year. They continue to recruit,( with limited success, they got 2 more GPs but lost 1.5 equivalent to retirement/relocation) they have made changes to opening times(getting rid of Weds early closing made a difference!), and have tried various ways of allocating on the day appointments. As far as I'm aware I could still get an emergency appt. The fact that the other surgery in town has closed its list has not helped at all, and I can't see that this surgery would be allowed that solution now. I note that they now have a Nurse Practitioner so I might try to push to see her, as I don't see that my problem at this stage needs a GP. I just want to rule out the obvious to begin with - anaemia, diabetes.
I think my sister forgets that I am very different from her; she is an extrovert and sees a 60th birthday as a reason for a big bash. Doubtless hers will be, but she has a wide circle of friends from her professional life, her children are younger than mine without the same commitments, and living within 30 mins travel time, and she has a humungous house.I hate being the centre of attention at the best of times and certainly not when I am feeling unwell. I think the best thing at this stage is to let my daughter know what my views are so that she can exercise some control. She is Hospitality Manager for a prestige car company so well versed in the art of managing difficult clients!

mig

Daffy i want to say something wise and helpful but I'm not very good at saying these things so I'm sending mega hugs (((((()))))) Mig

stickywicket

Sunshine, lavender, a cuppa plus some of Mig's hugs are likely to do far more than words but I agree that writing things down in a logical manner can sometimes do the trick all by itself.

I know it's true that some surgeries just cannot recruit enough GPs to replace the retiring ones and I've heard many GPs recently saying as much. Quite how they're supposed to open their surgeries at weekends too, as the government now wish, is beyond me. No wonder patients are just rocking up at A&E. Nurse practitioners can be very good though and usually much better with a needle than docs.

I like your birthday plan. I hope your daughter can convince your sister that this is your birthday not hers. Party animals often tend to be convinced that inside us all is one of them waiting to escape. Not so.

daffy2

mega hugs

Icing on the cake, bless you mig.
A bit of progress on the birthday front I think. Spoke to son who booted daughter into contacting me, and after some rather strange bits of telephonic malfunction I was able to explain my concerns and that I had made plans for Saturday and Sunday which I didn't want to be spoiled by doing too much on Friday.From what she said it would appear that my sister is adopting her usual ostrich approach to travelling in the UK, ie forgetting that our roads are bad, slow, and liable to cardiac arrest especially in holiday time. We also think that the small matter(!) of the Calais/Dover situation has passed her by...She will be hard pushed to get her son and daughter to where they need to be, let alone trek over to me in completely the opposite direction. I have left it to my daughter to sort out, just asked that I'm kept updated especially if I'm expected to provide a bed for the night for sister and niece.
As for GPs, Jeremy Hunt et al haven't got a clue.They are ignoring the lack of support for struggling practices and seem to think it's OK to shut down 'failing' surgeries without making provision for alternatives, and they are refusing to address the reasons why nobody wants to become a GP now. As you say, it's anyone's guess where they're going to find the tens of thousands of extra GPs they promised.

stickywicket

It sounds as if you're now well on the way to solving your own problems and that doesn't surprise me.

It also sounds, as you say, as if your sister is blissfully unaware of the limitations of both arthritic bodies and arthritic UK roads. With luck, the latter might come to the aid of the former. I hope so.

daffy2

Oh the irony! Although it took a long time to get to sleep last night, when I did it was a good 6 hour's worth, great except that it meant I missed the 8am appt jumble sale...
I asked about the Nurse Practitioner and she is only available by that route, and only part-time. Time to have a chat with the Practice Manager I think. As far as I can make out a major reason why the 2 nearby(but not near enough!) surgeries function properly is that they are nurse led and so make full use of NP's, leaving the GP's to deal with cases that need them.
It does pay to be pleasant to beleaguered staff though - the receptionist did have a look to see if there was an unallocated NP slot she could give me.

daffy2

Good news - I managed to get to the surgery in time, and get an appointment. The GP ran through various check lists and has ordered a selection of blood tests.
Not so good news - due to staff sickness the wait for phlebotomy appointments is almost as bad as for GPs, so I'm supposed to make the 40 mile round trip to the regional hospital to get them done. Can't do that until next week...
I have asked to speak to the practice manager.

stickywicket

A good plan. If you can work together over this maybe some improvements can be made.

My surgery also recommends going to the local hospital for a blod test when the test is urgent and the phlebotomists booked up but, luckily, mine is only a few miles away.

I hope the outcome(s) are good. Please keep us in the loop.

daffy2

One obvious thing to improve is their website, which is not only rather off-putting and lacking in information, but also is not being used to keep patients informed. They have now been successful in getting their list closed, but online still claim to be accepting new patients.
Previous chats with the PM(!) have been cordial and useful, and I always try to come up with something positive. On one occasion I had quite a serious complaint about the way one of the receptionists had behaved, but was also able to mention another who had been exemplary - and suggest she be paid to run some sessions in customer service for the others!

stickywicket

My practice has a Patients Reference group which meets quarterly. The screen in the waiting room is always asking for younger people to join as we not-so-golden oldies are over-represented.

Theoretically they also put out a newsletter but these are very few and far between.

daffy2

I think all surgeries are supposed to have some sort of patient group. I volunteered but have not been contacted(perhaps I'm down as a troublemaker!). It's interesting that the big surgeries don't seem to meet very often(mine twice a year as far as I can see) but the excellent village surgeries meet every two months, and also use online contact sometimes - is there a connection I wonder between the 70% satisfaction with the big surgery compared with 90 odd % for the village ones...

stickywicket

Not sure about that. Ours is a pretty big practice (about 6 GPs) and Patient Surveys on satisfaction are always high 90s. Harold Shipman's was a small practice (and kept getting smaller.)

theresak

Ours is a very small practice - a full-time GP and a part-time one, but he`s very keen to have lines of communication open, and a Patient Participation Group meets regularly. Like Sticky`s practice, they are keen to have younger people in the group. We have a quarterly newsletter, and online access to practice info/changes etc. It works really well in that there is a very stable staff, some of whom have been there since the practice opened, in 1996.

dreamdaisy

My GPs practice is large, it now has nine GPs (reduced from eleven) and over 23,000 patients (increased from 19,000 two years ago). The latest improvement to their services includes the patient being responsible for making the annual appointment for the asthma, hypertension and other clinics rather than being summoned by letter. There is an average delay of ten working days for a phlebo appointment, and although the GP may say to you as you leave 'I want to see you again, book another appointment at the desk for a fortnight.' you cannot because they are always gone and the receptionists are, so they say, not permitted to go three or four weeks ahead. I wonder how many follow-up appointments are missed for this reason?

Anyway, to the proper matter in hand: Daffy, I apologise for not replying sooner but things have been tricky. Families are a nuisance at times aren't they, especially if there's one dominant member who works on the assumption that because they do certain things in certain ways everyone else will want to do the same. I wanted a small bash for my 40th and 50th birthdays whereas The Spouse wanted no fuss at all. We both had our wish.

As I am deficient on the rellie front (plus an only to boot) I have no wise words to offer but I hope your offspring rally round and defend their mother from all-comers. This is your birthday and should be celebrated or ignored according to your choice but I guess that is a very simplistic view. Over-bearing people are a handful and usually end up getting their way because everyone else wants a quiet life: my late Ma was an over-bearer and tiring it was at times. Living on your own has its benefits as well as its drawbacks, the main one being that it is always up to you to deal with matters that crop up. I hope you are able to get things sorted out sooner rather than later and that your 'normal' is soon resumed. DD

dreamdaisy

Hello again, how are things going now? I hope you are feeling more like yourself. DD

daffy2

Heavens DD, never any need for you to apologise for not replying. I can see you've been! euphemism alert! under the weather, and yet you have still managed to post support and encouragement to those in need of same.
My fatigue has lessened noticeably, and the other tiresome things have either gone into abeyance or also lessened so I'm feeling a lot less ground down, better able to deal with the NHS hold-ups, and more like myself.
The visit from sister and niece was interesting. It is evident that she has got quite a lot of unresolved issues concerning my mother's death, and our younger sister. Some of it was new to my niece and she admitted to me that she is concerned and will try to get her mother to see someone to talk about it. As for my health issues I simply baldly listed the conditions that I currently have to deal with, which she was unable to come up with any quick fix responses to since she knows nothing about them, and so the subject was not raised again. Doubtless when she is back home and/or has some spare time she'll start looking up helpful info - but emails are a relatively easy thing to deal with.
Yes I would much rather my sister hadn't done her steamroller act(and so would my daughter), but my niece is such a delightful young woman that it was just about worth it.

dreamdaisy

My being in the dumps doesn't stop me thinking of others, why should it? I am pleased to read that it passed off better than expected and that you enjoyed seeing your niece again. It is also good news that things are generally improving, they usually do but we don't always know when that might be! I hope you are enjoying the lovely weather and doing some restorative pottering. DD

daffy2

Blood has been extracted today. I decided to risk the drop in approach, as it's worked in the past, and once I'd found my way there( I'm sure someone is paid to make hospitals as confusing as possible to navigate) was able to walk straight in - 2 phlebotomists with nothing to do! Having allowed a couple of hours I was left with plenty of time to visit a nearby retail park to look for a couple of items I needed. I have a GP appt on 8th Sep(earliest available last week!) to discuss results and any improvement/change to fatigue situation.

dreamdaisy

I prefer to have my bloods done at my hospital, I am fortunate in that it's only a 10 - 15 minute drive away and the best time to go is around 5.40pm; because they close at 5.45 there's never a queue and usually a free BB space - it's a win-win! Retail therapy is usually beneficial.

Will you chase up the results or wait until you see the GP? DD

mig

Glad things have eased a little Daffy,if only we could bottle retail therapy.Mig

daffy2

I'll probably call in to the surgery at the end of next week to see if the results are back and go from there. I'm inclined to keep the appt in any case, if only because they're so difficult to get and I've already had delays just starting the process of finding out if there's any reason for feeling bad, other than worse than usual suspects. The GP did say to arrange to see him again, so perhaps if these bloods come back clear he might have other things to look at if necessary. I'm reluctantly accepting that the combination of a creaky NHS and a creaky body means that 'I'll just wait and see how it goes' is not the sensible approach now.

stickywicket

Keep us in that creaky loop, daffy. I hope all will be well but the uncertainty is the hard bit.

daffy2

An update...Yesterday I saw the GP to discuss the blood results - all 'within normal range'. I already knew that was likely to be the case as the surgery hadn't been in touch when they got them 3 weeks ago. Good news in one respect as it means that things like anaemia and diabetes can be ruled out, but still leaves me feeling grot and not knowing why, or what if anything I can do to improve the situation.
The VitD result was a surprise as it was only just out of the insufficiency range, and certainly well down on the same time last year. I've not been short of optimum(not the same as maximum!) sun exposure, and dietary sources have been better this year, so it looks as if I'll have to supplement year round not just between September and May to help with the OP.
For now the problem has been 'parked'.The fatigue hasn't got any worse and schools have gone back so work has tailed right off and will stop for the winter in 6 weeks time, and I need to concentrate on sorting out what has happened to my back.