Osteoarthritis

Alicja

Thank you @Shell_H , that’s all very helpful and kind of you x

Lilymary

Hi Alicja, and welcome. I’m sorry to hear about your mum’s knee, that does sound very painful and distressing for you to see.

It’s hard to comment on your mum’s suitability for surgery due to her weight and other medical conditions, but I can offer a glimmer of hope in that knee replacement surgery can be very successful, and enables sufferers to get much of their former mobility back, but the degree of success does vary with many factors, not least being weight, underlying health conditions, doing your physio after recovery, etc. So don’t despair, but put your faith in your consultants, who will find the best way forward for your mum.

Mike1

Contact Adult Social Care at your Council to see if they can offer some help. they should be able to send an OT out to see your Mum who can assess her needs and can even provide equipment to help out. She is lucky to have you.

Alicja

Thank you @Lilymary and @Mike1 (love your cat profile photo)

Mum was assessed by an OT before being discharged from the hospital and has a walker and commode. She is on the list for someone to come to the house and see what else they can provide. She has been urgently referred to orthopedics so it's a waiting game at the moment. She is already so depressed and said maybe it's her 'time to go'. It really is heartbreaking. I find myself going downstairs to cry (so she doesn't see) and then splashing cold water on my face and plastering on a smile before going in to see her again.

It's a comfort to have your kind words x

Lilymary

I’m sorry this is so hard on both of you, but try to hold onto the upcoming orthopaedics appointment as a light at the end of this tunnel. Hopefully they will be able to make your mum more comfortable and give her back a bit of her old zest for life, which will make things easier for you too. Being a career and trying to stay endlessly upbeat can be hard at times, so try to make a little time for a bit of self-nurturing too, it will make you feel better, and wil help you support your mum.

Mike1

I understand how your Mum is feeling, I have been there more than once. OA has taken over my life and my body to such an extent that I had to give up work, use crutches around the bungalow and a wheelchair outside; my driving licence has been withdrawn by the DVLA on disability grounds so my car and independence has also gone; I live alone having been divorced 20 years ago and have no children; I have gone from a very physically active Veteran to now being unable to do much; I used to run a branch of a Veteran motorcycle based charity and now I can't and only 2 mates out of over 200 bother to keep in touch every few weeks. I could go on but suffice to say my depression has led me down a very dark path more than once when I have thought that there is nothing worth keeping going for, but then I look at my cat and wonder what on Earth she would do if I wasn't around to look after her and that has been enough for me to tell myself not to be so stupid. Your Mum has you and I am sure that if she sat down and thought how you would suffer if she was not around that would be more than enough for her to get a better grip on things. Don't hide your tears from her.

Alicja

Thank you @Mike1 I'm so sorry to hear how hard this is for you. It really is heartbreaking and very unfair. You are right though - your furry friend would be bereft without you. They really do mourn those they love. Is there anything that can be done for you such as an operation? Whereabouts in your body is your OA?

Mike1

Hi Alicja, don't worry about me, my OA is widespread and apparently there is nothing that can be done except swallowing more and more Morphine. I didn't write to elicit sympathy but to show that even when we are in the depths of despair there is something that can be found which is worth living for. Depression is a terrible thing and when one is feeling down it is easier to fall further than to pick oneself up. Reassure your Mum that you are fighting to get her seen Orthopaedics and an OT visit, and that as bad as she is feeling there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you become increasingly worried about her depression contact your GP for the benefit of both of you. Have a look at https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/signs-someone-is-depressed/