I have recently thought about ringing the samaritans but changed my mind. This will be the hardest thing I have ever written as I am going to completely open up about everything!!!
From the age of 6 to being 19 I was abused by a family member (this only ended when they died). Nobody knew I just got through it alone and only a small handful of people know now.
For 20 years I then had a good life growing into a young women with a boyfriend of 11 years and then my husband whom I have been with since I was 29.
At the grand old age of 40 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a mastectomy with reconstruction, chemo, herceptin and 10 years of medication to stop the cancer returning ( i am currently on year 9).
When i was discharged from my local cancer hospital 2 years ago i was told to go out now and live my life and enjoy it!!!
Unfortunately like most of you on here i now have osteoarthritis. It hasn't come on gradually over time it's just completely crippled me in a short space of time. It just feels like it is consuming my body and the pain is terrible, i just dont know what to do anymore.
It's in my knees, my feet, my right wrist (I'm right handed).
Corona virus hasn't helped, I work full time but have been furloughed since the end of March. When I'm at work, even though I'm in pain, because i never stop my body doesn't get a chance to seize up. Going for a walk is so painful (I've already had a partial knee replacement right knee and that is great). Currently waiting to get my left knee done.
I spend so much time in tears, nobody understands the pain unless you have arthritis.
I dont feel sorry for myself, not once throughout my life have i said 'why me'.
Why not me?
I am in pain 24 hours a day and rarely get much sleep at night.
I just dont know what to do anymore and just need someone to talk to who understands.
I currently take:
Need an arthritis friend.