Feeling alone when surrounded by people?
I know a key part of dealing with chronic pain is managing feelings of isolation / alienation.
Knowing this does not however assuage feelings of aloneness, if anything it seems to compound the issue(s).
I can massage my emotions to fit with others’ but only for a time. When the necessity comes to an end and I’m alone I have to deal with every word I’ve said and the echoes that won’t leave me be.
Why have I placed everyone else’s needs above my own?
Why didn’t I take the opportunity to speak about myself?
Why did I try so desperately to ingratiate myself to that particular person?
Why do I see every new person as a potential for being understood?
That’s a lot to put on another person and in reality they’re unlikely to understand, I will be forced to justify my position in life to them, to fight my own corner.
I can’t reconcile my own needs with other people’s vulnerabilities, wants and needs.
I feel I AM causing all of my own problems. Internalised oppression?
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