Hello, newbie here

Bruvstine Member Posts: 3
edited 28. Nov 2023, 14:06 in Living with arthritis

Hi all, new to this forum but hoping i can get some useful information in respect of Living with Arthritis. I have Osteoarthritis in my toes (on one foot) which was diagnosed about 4 years ago. Since then i have retired all my lovely Jimmy Choo and Louboutin high heel shoes and now live in A trainer and a solid sole boot. At 46 this was a bit of a shock and I’m still really struggling with my, what i would call, non lady like look. To me high heels was my power and i felt good wearing them. No i feel like i just waddle around, shoulders down….you get my drift hopefully.

But as one of the “non visible” (apart from my odd shoes) disabilities its very difficult explaining to people why i have two different shoes or why i’m parking in a disable space.

So nearly 5 years on, still in pain most days, im using my disability to not do anything. “I can’t go for a walk today because my foot hurts” or “Sorry im not going to that party as i’ve nothing to wear” and obviously the pandemic hasn’t helped. Oh did i mention also that I’m peri menopausal too with possibly and under active thyroid. Which all cumulates into extra weight which is making me even more unhappy with my body!

Why have i joined….i need help, i need to get out of this rut of saying I can’t do things and find somethings i can do and enjoy! I need me back! So any help I’d really appreciate.


  • Tom
    Tom Member Posts: 522

    Welcome to the forum, @Bruvstine. I see that you have had OA in your toes for five years and are finding coping with the changes you have had to face difficult.

    You will see many posts on this forum where members recount similar experiences. Here are some links to information on our website:

    Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

    Tom, Moderator.

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,707

    Hi bruvstine and welcome from me too.

    It takes some time to grow our 'arthritis tough skin' but it's well worth persevering. I was diagnosed with RA at 15 and, by about 25, could only wear surgical shoes - two pairs at a time so, even with two different colours, they were never going to match every outfit. Luckily I was always a jeans and shirts person so it didn't matter too much but......yeah, I did look a bit odd at weddings😁 In a way I was lucky in that mine started in my hands and, with no modern RA meds on offer at the time, I soon started to look disabled so people then make allowances. But i remember the fear of being shoved off buses quicker than I could safely go.

    There's absolutely no reason why we Blue Badge holders should feel embarassed about using disabled slots. I know, when you're younger, people do sometimes check you out when they think you're not looking (or even when they know you are) but that's their problem not yours.

    There will be many times when arthritis will stop you doing what you want to do and, sometimes, we just have to accept that but do ensure it's the arthritis not the fear of explanations. The more we grasp nettles the easier it becomes. And, yes, it's a great idea to find new things to do. That's how I discovered Riding for the Disabled, writing cricket reports (I'm an addict) for my local newspaper, wheelchair walks in the countryside and loads of other pleasures which, without arthritis, I never would have experienced. Go for it😀

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Hi @Bruvstine

    Welcome from me too! I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time at the moment. You're in the right place here and you will learn to 'own' it! I'm 33 and have been owning this wonderful condition since I was 6. I won't lie, it isn't always easy but I've learned to find ways to manage and just love being me again. There are so many people here to talk to, and who will listen.

    Always come and speak to us!


  • Bruvstine
    Bruvstine Member Posts: 3

    Thank you all soooo much for your responses. So today I’m feeling good, after reading your feedback i decided to call my doctor to ask for “Help”, I’ve now got a plan of action and a physio referral. Finally someone is listening to me….

    Not quite a spring in my step….cos that hurts…..but definitely a smile on my face!

    I’ll keep you posted on my progress :)

    Thanks again everyone x