What do you do to keep sane?

Supermand

I've always written poems and amended songs and I find it helps a lot especially when I'm feeling down. I've had joint problems for nearly 50 years so I need something especially when I'm waiting a long time for appointments. Today I amended The Proclaimers song 500 Miles.

500 PILLS

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,

I'm gonna be a woman in pain all the day

When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be a woman groaning all the day

If I stay in, sitting down I’m gonna be

I'm gonna be a woman with painful joints

And every day, I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be getting more affected joints

And I could take 500 pills

And I could take 500 more

But pain killers do absolutely no good

Of that I am completely sure

Hopefully this will amuse some. I feel a smile takes your mind of your pain for a second or 2.

frogmorton

LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brilliant take on a memorable song!

Thanks😊

Toni x

Supermand

If you liked that one, here's another one I wrote some time ago to the tune of ABBA's Money! Money! Money! Hope you like this one as well. What do you do to keep sane?

MY KNEE MY KNEE MY KNEE

 I groan all night; I groan all day the pain I have won’t go away

Ain’t it sad?

And still there never seems to be a single minute’s respite for me

That’s too bad.

In my dreams they make it stop

By giving me a decisive op

I’d never have to limp again; never more would I be in pain.

 My knee, my knee, my knee

It’s not funny

In an arthritics world

My knee, my knee, my knee

Never sunny

In an arthritics world

OW OW-W-W

All the things I could do

If I didn’t have arthritis

What a wretched life!

 A day pain free is hard to find but I can’t get it off my mind

Ain’t it sad?

And if they developed a cure, it wouldn’t be for me I’m sure

That’s too bad

 Maybe I’ll win the Lottery

Then I’ll get a replacement knee

No longer will I be so lame; my life will never be the same.

 My knee, my knee, my knee

It’s not funny

In an arthritics world

My knee, my knee, my knee

Never sunny

In an arthritics world

OW OW-W-W

All the things I could do

If I didn’t have arthritis

What a wretched life!

PeterJ

Brilliant - love them

stickywicket

I do like these @Supermand . Keep 'em coming. We used to have a lot of fun threads. I think the Christmas carol pastiches were the most popular https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/41128/christmas-carols-for-arthritics . But we also had somg and film titles. They'll all be there in the archives somewhere. Unfortunately there seems no appetite for shall we say the fun side of arthritis now. Pity.

By the way, whatever made you think we were sane😆

Skinny Keef

Now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head All Day!!!

😁

Ariana

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/60465/what-do-you-do-to-keep-sane

@Supermand Ha, brilliant, it made me laugh 500 times and more!😊

Vindem

Great Stuff Supermand!

What I do is this:- I think like a Contrarian in doing the opposite to what is expected as a way to get back in control of my thinking about a problem that won't be dealt with & only made worse by worrying about - SO I do the opposite & do my BEST & BIGGEST SMILE for as long as I can hold it whilst making myself RELAX TO REPAIR - mentally! . I can then feel a change happen in my mind & my body as it is not possible to smile & worry at the same time & also it can have quite an effect on others around you as it can surprise them in a very nice way while helping yourself as well.

Never under estimate the POWER OF A SMILE! on yourself & others. I do it as soon as I open my eyes first thing when I wake up, then do my exercises in bed before I get out. You have to get in the habit of it to get results but its worth it to get in control & not be dragged along by events. This Is the best & easiest exercise ever .Try it now! - Good Luck! - Vindem.

Ellen

Good morning @Vindem welcome to the Online Community. (Apologies @Supermand for hijacking your thread to welcome Vindem)

What great tips there. Especially the smile😊 Always good if you can to start the day so positively. You are indeed a contrarian.

Our mental health can be impacted hugely by living with a long term condition such as Arthritis. I doubt you need to read this, but there's good stuff in this:

https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/managing-symptoms/emotional-wellbeing/

Lovely to meet you.

Best wishes

Ellen.

Supermand

As I said I don't only re-write songs I write poems too.

Here's the first one I wrote, hope you like it.

ARTHRITIS IS A PAIN IN THE ARMS.

 Knackered ankle, wrist and knee

Is there anything right with me?

NSAIDs, steroids and other pills

There must be something to cure my ills.

Replacement elbow that’s become bionic

When my pain was diagnosed as chronic.

Orthos, rheumatics and physiotherapist

There’s no joint department that I’ve missed.

X-rays, scans and MRI

Every type of view they try.

Blood tests and injections, there is no doubt

If they weren’t putting something in they were taking something out.

Panics, worries and all sorts of alarms

ARTHRITIS IS A PAIN IN THE ARMS.

Jan1955

So very true..thank you for your post..Jan x

Pegasus64

So very funny 🤣

Jewels1973

Loved all of them because they are so very true! Same here I will have those songs going around in my head tonight. Well done to you both x

Lizziejayne53

These are absolutely brilliant and certainly raised a smile 😁; a true talent here.

Thank you for brightening my day x

Supermand

Here's a quick little one!!!

Dem Bones – Damn Arthritis!

Your toe bone was connected to your foot bone

Your foot bone was connected to your ankle bone

Your ankle bone was connected to your leg bone

Your leg bone was connected to your knee bone

Your knee bone was connected to your thigh bone

Your thigh bone was connected to your hip bone

Your hip bone was connected to your back bone

Your back bone was connected to your shoulder bone

Your shoulder bone was connected to your neck bone

And then arthritis destroyed the lot!

Supermand

Hi Guys

I've got a new song for you.

I wrote this today, I hope you like it!

Everyday (Buddy Holly’s song)

Everyday pains are getting stronger

Don’t think I can take this pain much longer

Wishing arthritis would just go away

A-hey, a-hey hey

Everyday more joints are affected

As it gets worse, I get more dejected

Some treatment must surely come my way

Someday, a-hey hey

Everyday pain cuts like a knife

Stuck with this for the rest of my life

Wish I had something to look forward to

Apart from surgery!

Supermand

Hi All

Been a bit quiet for a while as I've been a bit busy with appointments etc but I;'ve re-written a new song which I hope you'll like, it's to the tune of ABBA's The Winner Takes It All.

ARTHRITIS TAKES IT ALL (To the tune of ABBA’a The Winner Takes It All)

 I don’t wanna walk

‘Cos walking just hurts bad

Sport was life to me

Now that's history.

 I played sports each day

‘Til arthritis got me

Nothing more to say

Now I cannot play.

 Arthritis takes it all

Joints fail & make me fall

Docs, ops & tests for me

That’s my destiny.

 I was at college

Thought I’d be a teacher

Wanted to teach PE

That’s what I wanted to be

That was my lifelong dream

Thought I’d be a good one

But I was a fool

Life can be so cruel.

 It’s like a lottery

Why arthritis chose me

I know I shouldn’t complain

Being left so lame.

 Arthritis takes it all (takes it all)

I’m just left to fall (left to fall)

I know I shouldn’t complain (shouldn’t complain)

But I’m going to all the same! (all the same)

 

Supermand

Hi All

Haven't given you a song/poem for a while so here is one that I don't think I've put up before.

LONG LATIN NAMES

(to the tune of Don McClean’s American Pie)

A long, long time ago

I can still remember how playing sports

Used to make me smile

I also played all sorts of games

Until the ills with long Latin names

Made me unable to play anymore.

My GP said she couldn't help me

An Orthopaedic surgeon I must see

Bad news I've Arthritis

There is no cure for this.

I can't remember if I cried

Because my dream of teaching PE had died

But in order to keep my pride

I must always be dry-eyed

[Chorus]

So bye-bye playing sport anymore

Got to find some new hobbies ‘cos my joints are so sore

The docs do nothing but replace them I’m sure

Still anything that stops pain is good

Anything that stops pain is good.