What do you do to keep sane?
I've always written poems and amended songs and I find it helps a lot especially when I'm feeling down. I've had joint problems for nearly 50 years so I need something especially when I'm waiting a long time for appointments. Today I amended The Proclaimers song 500 Miles.
500 PILLS
When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be a woman in pain all the day
When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be a woman groaning all the day
If I stay in, sitting down I’m gonna be
I'm gonna be a woman with painful joints
And every day, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be getting more affected joints
And I could take 500 pills
And I could take 500 more
But pain killers do absolutely no good
Of that I am completely sure
Hopefully this will amuse some. I feel a smile takes your mind of your pain for a second or 2.
Comments
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LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brilliant take on a memorable song!
Thanks😊
Toni x
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If you liked that one, here's another one I wrote some time ago to the tune of ABBA's Money! Money! Money! Hope you like this one as well. What do you do to keep sane?
MY KNEE MY KNEE MY KNEE
I groan all night; I groan all day the pain I have won’t go away
Ain’t it sad?
And still there never seems to be a single minute’s respite for me
That’s too bad.
In my dreams they make it stop
By giving me a decisive op
I’d never have to limp again; never more would I be in pain.
My knee, my knee, my knee
It’s not funny
In an arthritics world
My knee, my knee, my knee
Never sunny
In an arthritics world
OW OW-W-W
All the things I could do
If I didn’t have arthritis
What a wretched life!
A day pain free is hard to find but I can’t get it off my mind
Ain’t it sad?
And if they developed a cure, it wouldn’t be for me I’m sure
That’s too bad
Maybe I’ll win the Lottery
Then I’ll get a replacement knee
No longer will I be so lame; my life will never be the same.
My knee, my knee, my knee
It’s not funny
In an arthritics world
My knee, my knee, my knee
Never sunny
In an arthritics world
OW OW-W-W
All the things I could do
If I didn’t have arthritis
What a wretched life!
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Brilliant - love them
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I do like these @Supermand . Keep 'em coming. We used to have a lot of fun threads. I think the Christmas carol pastiches were the most popular https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/41128/christmas-carols-for-arthritics . But we also had somg and film titles. They'll all be there in the archives somewhere. Unfortunately there seems no appetite for shall we say the fun side of arthritis now. Pity.
By the way, whatever made you think we were sane😆
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright1 -
Now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head All Day!!!
😁
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@Supermand Ha, brilliant, it made me laugh 500 times and more!😊
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Great Stuff Supermand!
What I do is this:- I think like a Contrarian in doing the opposite to what is expected as a way to get back in control of my thinking about a problem that won't be dealt with & only made worse by worrying about - SO I do the opposite & do my BEST & BIGGEST SMILE for as long as I can hold it whilst making myself RELAX TO REPAIR - mentally! . I can then feel a change happen in my mind & my body as it is not possible to smile & worry at the same time & also it can have quite an effect on others around you as it can surprise them in a very nice way while helping yourself as well.
Never under estimate the POWER OF A SMILE! on yourself & others. I do it as soon as I open my eyes first thing when I wake up, then do my exercises in bed before I get out. You have to get in the habit of it to get results but its worth it to get in control & not be dragged along by events. This Is the best & easiest exercise ever .Try it now! - Good Luck! - Vindem.
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Good morning @Vindem welcome to the Online Community. (Apologies @Supermand for hijacking your thread to welcome Vindem)
What great tips there. Especially the smile😊 Always good if you can to start the day so positively. You are indeed a contrarian.
Our mental health can be impacted hugely by living with a long term condition such as Arthritis. I doubt you need to read this, but there's good stuff in this:
Lovely to meet you.
Best wishes
Ellen.
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As I said I don't only re-write songs I write poems too.
Here's the first one I wrote, hope you like it.
ARTHRITIS IS A PAIN IN THE ARMS.
Knackered ankle, wrist and knee
Is there anything right with me?
NSAIDs, steroids and other pills
There must be something to cure my ills.
Replacement elbow that’s become bionic
When my pain was diagnosed as chronic.
Orthos, rheumatics and physiotherapist
There’s no joint department that I’ve missed.
X-rays, scans and MRI
Every type of view they try.
Blood tests and injections, there is no doubt
If they weren’t putting something in they were taking something out.
Panics, worries and all sorts of alarms
ARTHRITIS IS A PAIN IN THE ARMS.
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So very true..thank you for your post..Jan x
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So very funny 🤣
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Loved all of them because they are so very true! Same here I will have those songs going around in my head tonight. Well done to you both x
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These are absolutely brilliant and certainly raised a smile 😁; a true talent here.
Thank you for brightening my day x
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Here's a quick little one!!!
Dem Bones – Damn Arthritis!
Your toe bone was connected to your foot bone
Your foot bone was connected to your ankle bone
Your ankle bone was connected to your leg bone
Your leg bone was connected to your knee bone
Your knee bone was connected to your thigh bone
Your thigh bone was connected to your hip bone
Your hip bone was connected to your back bone
Your back bone was connected to your shoulder bone
Your shoulder bone was connected to your neck bone
And then arthritis destroyed the lot!
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Hi Guys
I've got a new song for you.
I wrote this today, I hope you like it!
Everyday (Buddy Holly’s song)
Everyday pains are getting stronger
Don’t think I can take this pain much longer
Wishing arthritis would just go away
A-hey, a-hey hey
Everyday more joints are affected
As it gets worse, I get more dejected
Some treatment must surely come my way
Someday, a-hey hey
Everyday pain cuts like a knife
Stuck with this for the rest of my life
Wish I had something to look forward to
Apart from surgery!
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Hi All
Been a bit quiet for a while as I've been a bit busy with appointments etc but I;'ve re-written a new song which I hope you'll like, it's to the tune of ABBA's The Winner Takes It All.
ARTHRITIS TAKES IT ALL (To the tune of ABBA’a The Winner Takes It All)
I don’t wanna walk
‘Cos walking just hurts bad
Sport was life to me
Now that's history.
I played sports each day
‘Til arthritis got me
Nothing more to say
Now I cannot play.
Arthritis takes it all
Joints fail & make me fall
Docs, ops & tests for me
That’s my destiny.
I was at college
Thought I’d be a teacher
Wanted to teach PE
That’s what I wanted to be
That was my lifelong dream
Thought I’d be a good one
But I was a fool
Life can be so cruel.
It’s like a lottery
Why arthritis chose me
I know I shouldn’t complain
Being left so lame.
Arthritis takes it all (takes it all)
I’m just left to fall (left to fall)
I know I shouldn’t complain (shouldn’t complain)
But I’m going to all the same! (all the same)
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Hi All
Haven't given you a song/poem for a while so here is one that I don't think I've put up before.
LONG LATIN NAMES
(to the tune of Don McClean’s American Pie)
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how playing sports
Used to make me smile
I also played all sorts of games
Until the ills with long Latin names
Made me unable to play anymore.
My GP said she couldn't help me
An Orthopaedic surgeon I must see
Bad news I've Arthritis
There is no cure for this.
I can't remember if I cried
Because my dream of teaching PE had died
But in order to keep my pride
I must always be dry-eyed
[Chorus]
So bye-bye playing sport anymore
Got to find some new hobbies ‘cos my joints are so sore
The docs do nothing but replace them I’m sure
Still anything that stops pain is good
Anything that stops pain is good.
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