THR my new life as a bionic person

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  • swimmer60
    swimmer60 Member Posts: 202

    @Janlyn

    I thought I'd share some thoughts with you, as another person living on their own. My friend who is 10 weeks down the line, has a partner who has been a star, so she's been far more adventurous than me, eg went on a 5 day holiday, goes to plays, meetings (yuck) etc. So, in some ways, he's been very, very helpful for her. But in others I feel she's quite dependent. eg he's still putting on her shoes, she's only just started swimming, drives there, even though it's only a 10 minute walk, wont use the shower there etc. Other examples. In some ways she's been far bolder than me, in others far more cautious.

    So, advantages and disadvantages in both situations. You and I had to get on with it, so we did!

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @swimmer60 definitely advantages and disadvantages, and thanks for this - it’s helpful for when I feel I’m struggling. I also had to get used to not having a raised toilet seat so when I went out it was definitely an advantage to not have to think about it. It is the shoes and boots though - the thinking if I get them on, can I get them off. All getting easier at 11 weeks today.

    Also went on my first long train journey yesterday, made more difficult by the first train being on strike and the bus to the second train breaking down. Managed it all, though felt lucky, and woke up this morning with no ill effects, as yet, would have felt very irresponsible if I’d got into difficulties but feel life has to go on. And noticed most people at this stage see my surgery as history and assume I’m ’back to normal’!

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    @swimmer60 @Janlyn

    I live with my family and they try to protect me too much sometimes. I appreciate they take care of me but at the same time, I need to get my life back, even it's very hard. Coming back to my job, being able to drive, meeting friends, going to my choir, going to the supermarket. I haven't been able to do these things for ages. Sometimes because I was in pain, others, because I didn't want to go with my sticks explaining everybody why. I have friends who love telling everybody how ill they are, but it's not for me. I've been very depressed for a long time. Emotional wound have to heal too and it's not as easy as using a theraband. Like my physical wound is healing and everyday I can move better, I have to push myself to do more things my brain refuses to do.

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @Nurina exactly so. The emotional side is so real but rarely talked about. It’s come on slowly so we’ve not always noticed then after surgery it’s a shock to feel this way. Hopefully time will help too?

    Take care, x

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    @Janlyn When I published my first book I fell in what is called "post-achievement anxiety" For months, my life was all about working in the book and deadlines, no time for anything else. After publishing the book, I felt the vertigo of freedom, the emptiness. I had to move on but I didn't know where to start. Now I feel the same "post-achievement anxiety". For a long time my life was all about the pain, the things I couldn't do and the date of the surgery. As my pain has dissappeared and I'm regaining my mobility, I have this vertigo of freedom. Now, apart from some limitations, nothing is stopping me to do whatever I want but Where do I start? I suppose I only need to start with baby steps and everything will find its place. X

  • swimmer60
    swimmer60 Member Posts: 202

    @Nurina and @Janlyn

    I do get upset when I think of part of my life lost, first to lock down and then a year of pain with my hip. I now think it'll be a good 6 months after op and post op recovery before I feel OK. I've also got inevitable other hip op., looming over me, but not for 12-18 months I hope. It's so bloody tiring!

    But I read on here about how people are suffering and I try not to feel too sorry for myself!

    And "blackbirds singing at the crack of dawn" has cheered me up immensely.😍

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @swimmer60 too true. I feel very fortunate compared to many people on here and very grateful to be ‘out the other side’. I do hope your other hip behaves until it is replaced, a tough time for you - but the little things, like blackbirds singing is special.

    @Nurina like a jigsaw, hopefully with some juggling everything will find it’s place. It’s the old patience again isn’t it?

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @Nurina it's really good to hear you went out without crutches. It's such a good feeling and people forget easily so don't focus on how we are - we just are. Sensible to use them for longer distances until your other leg is operated on though, well done, x

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    Day 73

    A little update on my current situation. Life is getting "almost normal" doing "almost normal" things. That is helping with my mental health and I feel very positive about future.

    I'm catching up with my well delayed work. I'm returning to my old activities that made me happy and I haven't done for a long time..

    I can go short walks without crutches but I need two crutches for longer distances to avoid the wonky gait. My other leg is getting more painful and I hope I can get the surgery soon to feel it as amazing as the operated one. Anyway, even with the painful leg and the wonky gait, I feel much better than two years ago.

    I've started doing some low impact cardio exercises very slowly and with a lot of control. I can't get on the floor to do burpees and other things but I'm happy enough. Is it not amazing?

    My sons and I are doing a well needed Spring cleaning and decluttering and that feels really great. I'm using The Organised Mum podcasts and an extendable duster.

    My scar line is very dark. I don't know if it's normal but I'm so worried about keloids and I've bought a silicone tape sheet to help. Does it really work?

    I'm reading that my diary is helping some of you to go ahead with the surgery. That makes me very happy 🥰 I hope you have a good experience and you can resume your life soon.

    Have a great Sunday

    Take care X

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @Nurina - almost normal - how wonderful - amazing isn't it? Getting back to normal things that have been left whilst we were in pain and immobile.

    Is your scar line flat now? I admit I haven't looked at mine for some time but it was lumpy and bumpy until I was at about the stage you'll be at now. I'll have to have a look - it's been a bit out of sight, out of mind!

    Take care, x

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    @Janlyn Where do you have the scar? I can see mine at my side. The inner stiches have disappeared and the scar doesn't feel like a big zipper. It's a very dark scar. I think the blood thinner have messed up with the normal healing process. I usually have very fast healing but I still have dark marks from the hand IV, the surgical drains and the blister I had from the plasters.

    How are you? It's been a long time since your last update. That means you are doing great.

    Take care X

  • ItsjustLisa
    ItsjustLisa Member Posts: 45

    @Nurina I'm so pleased to read your update! 73 days and to hear your confidence is coming back is just lovely.

    Yes indeed, your "bionic" journey has been quite inspiring, as have those of @JPT @Janlyn and @swimmer60, I look forward to reading your warts and all accounts and you have all made me feel less terrified about having the op.

    Thank you for your honesty and humour throughout it all 😊.

    Have a lovely week and I'm sure the scar will settle over time, I was amazed to read @Janlyn said it's "out of sight out of mind" that's a real testament to how good life is again after surgery and recovery.

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458
    edited 25. Mar 2024, 14:04

    Thanks @ItsjustLisa I think that our target is to forget we have a replaced hip. @Janlyn 's comment about not to look at the scar is a good plan to start forgetting. I still stand up, sit down, walk, sleep thinking about how not to make things worse.

    Yesterday, I went to the cinema without crutches and I came back home with a wobly gait. I didn't want to find my sit in the middle of the row holding my crutches in my hand and hitting everyone's head. Seats reserved for disabled are in the last row. Too far to watch Dune.

    I got up with my knee swollen.That's really frustrating because I haven't had any swelling since the third day after my surgery. I'm applying a cold pad right now and I'm going to take an Ibuprofen. Is that normal? This roller coaster is really exhausting, isn't it? I wonder if eventually I'll be able to forget I have an operated leg.

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @Nurina my scar is more towards my back than my side, I can see it if I twist my head round but it's easier to look in the mirror. Actually because I can't really feel it I've stopped looking - when it wouldn't heal I was looking and taking photos every day to compare! I do think it heals much quicker once we stop the blood thinners.

    Yes, I will update soon. I haven't really had anything to say but although life is pretty much back to normal in some respects I now realise I can't walk long distances or sit for a long time without stretching/moving so although I have no regrets I realise the physio was right when he said it took so much longer to reach our full potential - and to remember patience, perseverance and whatever the other 'p' was that I've forgotten!

    @ItsjustLisa absolutely - I do realise I keep forgetting and not being as careful as I should be. All good though, so far, I'm lucky. I slipped down the last couple of steps when I forgot to be careful and all was well - jarred my knees a bit but hip okay.

    @Nurina I think you will soon start to forget to think before you do things - once without sticks it is just so nice to not focus on being so careful all of the time and other people think we're back to normal. I think the best thing is to remember when we need to be careful but to try to forget when perhaps we don't. I think it's perfectly normal to overdo things at times and maybe that's what you did yesterday? Going out without crutches, sitting for a long time, but how nice to not have to look for the disabled seats.

  • ItsjustLisa
    ItsjustLisa Member Posts: 45

    @Nurina I'm sorry to read you had some swelling, I hope it's gone down today and you're more comfortable. Oh I so miss the cinema, it was a regular thing for me and my daughter and I was really looking forward to Dune pt2, I really hope you enjoyed it and roll on when I can walk up and down the hill to get to the flicks again!

    @Janlyn, that's honestly one of my biggest fears, as an overthinker I think I will have to give my prosthesic a name just to help my brain come to terms with the fact there's something alien in my body. I know it's essential and it's going to be life changing but I worry I won't be able to ever stop thinking about that.

    It's a lovely day again, I hope you all have a lovely day and enjoy the spring sunshine.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,026

    Of course you'll be painting your toenails Nurina!! Wow you are doing well if you can already cut them and put your socks on I am very pleased for you.

    The exercise bike too well done that's great work

    Is it your birthday?

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    Toni x

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    Thanks Toni. Yes. It's was birthday. 🥰 X

  • ItsjustLisa
    ItsjustLisa Member Posts: 45

    @Nurina I can't tell you how wide I smiled at the thought of being able to ride a bike and cut my toenails, thank you!

    Happy birthday, I hope you had a lovely day

    happy-birthday-card-with-flowers-assortment_23-2149077343.jpg

  • JPT
    JPT Member Posts: 178

    Belated Happy birthday @Nurina 🎂

    Your progress sounds great, lots of normal things now which must make you feel so much better than before 🙂

    Julie x

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    Thanks @ItsjustLisa I would never thought I could do a lot of things I'm doing now. You'll do all these things too. Next milestone is to ride my outdoor bike I haven't used for three years.

    Thanks @JPT I was yesterday having a lovely lunch with my family, making jokes and talking and I felt emotional when I told them how much I missed the small normal things.

  • Janlyn
    Janlyn Member Posts: 561

    @Nurina Happy birthday for yesterday I assume?

    Hope to hear you're on your real bike soon. So many previously normal but now exciting things here. Cutting toe nails, next painting them, but socks without a helper is real progress!

  • Zimmer
    Zimmer Member Posts: 52

    Thank you Nurina for the unfiltered and realistic expectations post op, it has given me ideas on what to set up when it's finally my turn 😀.

    I am a little scared, but am more scared of life slipping me by, so definitely will get it done.

    You have given me the much needed food for thought 🫂

  • Nurina
    Nurina Member Posts: 458

    Thanks @Zimmer That's my real "roller-coaster experience" told here in real time.😂 I know a surgery it's scary but a future in pain is worse. I hope you do better than me. Good luck

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