Newbie

kmorton

I’ve had RA for 2 years now and generally fairly level. Having a big flare right now and feeling pretty low. Not really sleeping. I’m back to work tomorrow after taking a week off sick and not sure how I’m going to handle it, but feel so guilty taking more time off.
Ive just been told by RA department to take pain relief and rest. I’m worried I’m going backwards - I’ve worked so hard to stay healthy for my family and scared to go back to how I was at the start.

Ellen

Hi @kmorton Welcome to the online community.

It is so frustrating when things have been level for you to have a big flare seemingly out of nowhere. Please don't think that your hard work was for nothing it really wasn't. Hopefully this is 'just' a flare and will pass if you follow the advice from your team. I promise I am in no way minimising your situation having been there myself a fair few times.

This morning I also read this post by @Kellye89 and was struck by how similar both of your situations seem to be at the moment.

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/63357/feeling-low

Do please read the replies on that thread, the one I posted might have some useful resources for you, including the number of our helpline should you want to talk to a voice.

My very best wishes

Ellen.

Kellye89

hi @kmorton,

Saw your post and had to reply as I am feeling exactly the same at the moment. Very up and down, yesterday I was very low, this morning I feel a little lighter. I am also off sick from work with a flare, worrying about work and going back too soon/not going back quickly enough. I have a young family and I try to hold it together for them but sometimes it is really really hard. If you ever need to chat just tag me. Are you on any meds? They should help you with more than just pain relief? I'm sorry you are feeling it too x

kmorton

Hi @kellye89

I’m taking sulfasalazine after MTX left me feeling dreadful. Other than niggly knuckles and feet it has kept any inflammation at bay. This flare has wiped me out, couldn't raise my right arm at all last week. I also have children, 15 and 11 and it’s hard to hide the pain from them isn’t it? You have to keep going as their needs don’t stop?

I had bloods last week, pcr levels were raised but not enough to trigger any intervention from rheumatology.

it’s hit me like a truck, I generally feel on top of things and I just didn’t see this flare coming. It’s left me feeling low and a bit glass half empty which isn’t like me.

I’m sorry you are suffering too, it’s good you are having a better day. Hopefully, we turn a corner soon and get back on track.

kmorton

hi @Kellye89

Thank you for your message, I’m glad to hear you are having a more positive day.

I’ve been on sulphasalazine for the last 18 months (had 6 months on MTX before that) and, although I’ve had a few smaller flares, I’ve been doing pretty good. This flare has knocked me sideways. I have a 15 year old and 11 year old, it’s hard trying to mask the pain and cope on no sleep. I hate them seeing when I’m struggling.

I’m going to go back to work and will see how I do tomorrow. I’ve downplayed the RA at work and feel guilty taking too much time off. That’s not the company I work for, that’s just the way I’m wired. I think deep down I know I could do with a bit more time to rest and recover which is why I’m feeling so low and hopeless today.

Thank you for messaging. I’ve never posted before but just feeling a bit fed up of trying to look on the bright side. I really do appreciate you responding.

Kellye89

@kmorton i know what you mean, I try really hard to push through so that this doesnt affect my children but they of course pick up on it, I really worry that all they will remember from being little is me being in pain or tired (they are still little!).
You are always welcome to send me a message, it sounds as though we are having very similar thoughts and feelings right now. i hope the return to work goes ok x