Feeling really upset by comments!

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nearlybionic
nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
edited 31. Jan 2009, 14:38 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi
I am still getting used to my decreased mobility, using a stick and my Blue Badge. So I am probably a bit oversensitive at the moment. Today when I went to collect my son from school, I parked in a place where I can using my badge . By doing so I do not have far to walk to school. Imagine my horror when a woman opened my car door and said ,"I know you are...well...you know, but can you move your car so I can pull out of side road. " Her large car is obviously difficult to manouevre and I am not parking too close to a junction. In normal circumstances I would have stood up for myself but feeling low as I am, I just put my head down and rolled the car forward. Then when she had gone I burst into tears! :cry:
I feel awful needing to use my badge etc.. but I need them . She couldn`t even say `disabled` or `have a blue badge` like its a dirty word!! :roll:
Sorry to go on but I needed to vent!
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Comments

  • mouseymousey
    mouseymousey Member Posts: 283
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Nearly - oh what an awful thing to happen......some people really are the pits. Lots of comebacks, but it doesn't matter at the moment. For the time being be a bit nice to yourself this evening...Mxx
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    womans an idiot!.......loads of em about...........just got you at bad moment.......dont waste your tears..........park there every day,get there early and get out of your car then she cant ask you to move it........go really slow back to car too!!!!!!!!!!!
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks for your replies,
    I have been thinking and I must admit I was tempted to move my car back and totally block the side road!!! But its not worth a fine is it?!!
    You`re right though, just happened at the wrong time. I am not sleeping well so have a tendency to get a bit emotional. This is another thing I find hard about all this, that I am usually quite a strong person. I now feel like hiding away, to avoid people`s silly comments and stares. I will have to find my backbone (if its not too sore) and stand up to them!!!
  • purvesrosie
    purvesrosie Member Posts: 59
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Its eaiser said that done but try to ignore these comments. I had my first bad experience yesterday when going to hospital for x rays. The only space left was one disabled bay i pulled in as i have blue badge and an old man stopped his car behind me and said " excuse me young lady thats a disabled bay!" I just said " I know" and walked off in shock. Why people make these hurtful and judgemental comments i have no idea.
    Take care
    Rosie x
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Lol, I'd have loved them to say that to me, I'd have caused a scene like you wouldn't believe! I'm still reeling from last week's fat comment! Got a letter from the Complaints team Saturday, it's going high up. Woohoo! Scuse my language though, what a bloody cheek! My Mum would have said to rise above it but I wouldn't have been able to contain myself, I'd have had to say something. No wonder you're upset.
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    purvesrosie wrote:
    " excuse me young lady thats a disabled bay!" I just said " I know" and walked off in shock. Why people make these hurtful and judgemental comments i have no idea.
    Take care
    Rosie x


    Good for you Rosie, people should mind their own business.
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I think I was so shocked that she opened my car door and just said it.It is one of those situations where you think of all the good things you should have said after the moment has passed!!
    The thing is I will see her every day at the school gate. :roll:
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I know how that is, my friends tell me all the time they wish they could be a bit more mouthy like me and they spend ages thinking of all the things they could have said. If it's any comfort, I can say the things I want most of the time but then I spend ages regretting them! Well if you see her everyday you've got plenty time to think up a nice witty retort for her, she certainly deserves it. xxx
  • mandy_b1967
    mandy_b1967 Bots Posts: 115
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    oneday wrote:
    womans an idiot!.......loads of em about...........just got you at bad moment.......dont waste your tears..........park there every day,get there early and get out of your car then she cant ask you to move it........go really slow back to car too!!!!!!!!!!!

    Good one I would do this and then smile at her when you see her.
    Mandy
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    mandy_b1967 wrote:
    oneday wrote:
    womans an idiot!.......loads of em about...........just got you at bad moment.......dont waste your tears..........park there every day,get there early and get out of your car then she cant ask you to move it........go really slow back to car too!!!!!!!!!!!

    Good one I would do this and then smile at her when you see her.
    Mandy
    Ooooh you lot are evil!! But its giving me ideas!!!! :lol:
  • livinglegend
    livinglegend Member Posts: 1,425
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    The Blue Badge gives disabled people parking conscessions and can be withdrawn if abused. a020.gif The above comments about blocking junctions give all disabled people a bad name. You never know who is reading this.

    Near here all the roads have now got No Loading signs and lines to stop obstruction to junctions and access. Also, following complaints, patrols by Community Support Officers b040.gif to enforce it.

    Whether we like it or not, in the current PC climate, people are going to be unsure how to approach us. (Handicapped or Disabled or Whatevernext). Would you have preferred her to drive up to within a few inches of your car and start blasting on the horn until you moved?

    As you see her at the school gates, you could always say, 'Sorry I blocked you in the other day when you pulled out of the junction'. Nothing hurts like being forgiven. e050.gif
    It is just another blip on the rich tapestry of life. c010.gif

    Joseph 8)
    Josephm0310.gif
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    livinglegend wrote:
    The Blue Badge gives disabled people parking conscessions and can be withdrawn if abused. a020.gif The above comments about blocking junctions give all disabled people a bad name. You never know who is reading this.

    Near here all the roads have now got No Loading signs and lines to stop obstruction to junctions and access. Also, following complaints, patrols by Community Support Officers b040.gif to enforce it.

    Whether we like it or not, in the current PC climate, people are going to be unsure how to approach us. (Handicapped or Disabled or Whatevernext). Would you have preferred her to drive up to within a few inches of your car and start blasting on the horn until you moved?

    As you see her at the school gates, you could always say, 'Sorry I blocked you in the other day when you pulled out of the junction'. Nothing hurts like being forgiven. e050.gif
    It is just another blip on the rich tapestry of life. c010.gif

    Joseph 8)

    Joseph,
    Please do not misunderstand me or what I say. I have never or would I in the future Park illegally or causing obstruction. If people take things out of context I cannot help that. My Blue Badge is a godsend for me. I was shocked at her comments but more so that she just opened my car door, invading my personal space. She could have knocked on thne window and asked me to wind down my window.
    Nearlybionic
  • livinglegend
    livinglegend Member Posts: 1,425
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    You never said you would. Its just a reminder to people that you never know who is looking and willing to take comments out of context.

    Just for you. n060.gif

    Joseph 8)
    Josephm0310.gif
  • jennywren
    jennywren Bots Posts: 79
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I would not tolerate that and it is so eay for those without blue badge not to understand our feelings and invasion of privacy and then condemn our frustrating action. I would block her car in with mine and flash my blue badge at her and failing an apology let her tyres down??????after all if someone parked in front of our car say in our drives what would we do smile and say that is OK????
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    eckstardeluxe wrote:
    Lol, I'd have loved them to say that to me, I'd have caused a scene like you wouldn't believe! I'm still reeling from last week's fat comment! Got a letter from the Complaints team Saturday, it's going high up. Woohoo! Scuse my language though, what a bloody cheek! My Mum would have said to rise above it but I wouldn't have been able to contain myself, I'd have had to say something. No wonder you're upset.

    what fat comment?..is that on antoher thread?
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    nearlybionic wrote:
    Thanks for your replies,
    I have been thinking and I must admit I was tempted to move my car back and totally block the side road!!! But its not worth a fine is it?!!
    You`re right though, just happened at the wrong time. I am not sleeping well so have a tendency to get a bit emotional. This is another thing I find hard about all this, that I am usually quite a strong person. I now feel like hiding away, to avoid people`s silly comments and stares. I will have to find my backbone (if its not too sore) and stand up to them!!!

    stares.........out stare them.............i do, if i have my stick!!!!!!!!!they dont say a thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Oneday,
    The`fat` comment was on another thread about Drs and consultants etc..
    I Will try to out stare them in future, or as you say theres always my stick!lol :lol:
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    whoops..............post not clear!!!!!!!!
    i meant (assumed everyone was psychic or something) if i have my stick and get stared at i then out stare them.......phew........i do not advocate hitting with stick .........hands are for eating....mustnt damage them hitting with sticks :mrgreen:
  • jaybar
    jaybar Member Posts: 5
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    nearlybionic wrote:
    I think I was so shocked that she opened my car door and just said it.It is one of those situations where you think of all the good things you should have said after the moment has passed!!
    The thing is I will see her every day at the school gate. :roll:

    so sorry this unthinking lady upset you . thats just what she was , i,m sure she felt a real idiot not being able to get out of a side road without asking you to move , and then when she realised your mobility was impaired she felt even dafter . Next time you see her in the playground just smile sweetly and engage her in conversation , and with any luck she will be very remorseful and ask you if she can help you at all
    jane
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi oneday
    I only meant wave stick to show I don`t care if they look!
    I can`t hide it, it`s bright pink!!! :)
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jane
    I saw her this afternoon but didn`t manage to catch her eye. Oh well theres always tomorrow!! I`m feeling a bit better about it today. Thanks to peoples support on here etc.. I have enough to worry about ( upcoming op) without looking for things to worry about! :shock:
    Thanks for taking time to reply everyone! :mrgreen: You`re all great.
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    of course we are great.........heres the plan....assuming your car has blacked out windows.........we all pile in your car with our sticks and stampede out when woman arrives........hee hee.
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Ok but it`ll have to be a slow stampede!! :lol:
  • noeltone
    noeltone Member Posts: 878
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi oneday it sounds like the A team with blacked out windows what about taking the camels along to stampede out with us with the sticks i like it when a plan comes together hee hee.
  • Wonkylegs
    Wonkylegs Member Posts: 3,504
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    count me in wth the slow stanpede!!

    Littlelegs says she'll come and do her best impression of my avatar :shock: (instead of the sweet little thing that she really is :wink: ) if you bring along a doggy bribe or three! :wink::wink: (she's not choosey about what she eats - sadly! :roll: )
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