Hit List

tonesp
tonesp Member Posts: 844
edited 28. Nov 2011, 08:14 in Community Chit-chat archive
Apart from Rosemary Conley(Nothing personal Just her diet) My top contender for my hit list is the spell checker on Firefox It won't accept British spelling and as for place names GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!Anyone any more?

Comments

  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I can't get on with Google instant basically because it flippin well isn't!, as four spill chicker it's note thurt bod riely!?> :lol:
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I can't be breaking any copyright laws is this is freely available all over the internet.

    Candidate for a Pullet Surprise
    by Mark Eckman and Jerrold H. Zar

    I have a spelling checker,
    It came with my PC.
    It plane lee marks four my revue
    Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

    Eye ran this poem threw it,
    Your sure reel glad two no.
    Its vary polished in it's weigh.
    My checker tolled me sew.

    A checker is a bless sing,
    It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
    It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
    And aides me when eye rime.

    Each frays come posed up on my screen
    Eye trussed too bee a joule.
    The checker pours o'er every word
    To cheque sum spelling rule.

    Bee fore a veiling checker's
    Hour spelling mite decline,
    And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
    We wood bee maid too wine.

    Butt now bee cause my spelling
    Is checked with such grate flare,
    Their are know fault's with in my cite,
    Of nun eye am a wear.

    Now spelling does knot phase me,
    It does knot bring a tier.
    My pay purrs awl due glad den
    With wrapped word's fare as hear.

    To rite with care is quite a feet
    Of witch won should bee proud,
    And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
    Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

    Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
    Such soft wear four pea seas,
    And why eye brake in two averse
    Buy righting want too pleas
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I take it you already know
    Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
    Others may stumble, but not you
    On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through?
    Well done! And now you wish perhaps
    To learn of less familiar traps?

    Beware of heard, a dreadful word
    That looks like beard but sounds like bird
    And dead: it's said like bed not bead -
    For goodness' sake don't call it 'deed'!
    Watch out for meat and great and threat
    They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

    A moth is not a moth in mother
    Nor both in bother or broth in brother,
    And here is not a match for there
    Nor dear and fear for pear and bear,
    And then there's dose and rose and lose -
    Just look them up - and goose and choose.

    And cork and work and card and ward
    And font and front and word and sword
    And do and go and thwart and cart -
    Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
    A dreadful language? Man alive,
    I'd mastered it when I was five.



    We have a glorious language, but only if your aural and visual memory are up to a reasonable speed: if not, you stand a good risk of being sunk, especially by those who regard the whole business of reading and writing as a doddle because they can do it with ease. It isn't, far from it.
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Robert Peston. When I have my revolution he and Rosie Millard will be up against that wall faster than you can say 'economy'. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Weeeeeeeeeeell.

    (It is important to descend an entire octave while saying this.)
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Louis Walsh! He always threatens to be nasty to the others acts on X Factor then he brown noses all the acts saying 'your my favorite' or 'I love you, your going to have an amazing recording future!' And secondly Jedward created by Louis (Brown Nose) Walsh. The irrating Irish freaky twins make the crazy frog sound angelic!
    So Louis Walsh must be the 1st on the hit list, then jedward! th_get-smiley.gif
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Oh rehab, yes, I do. Surely one of the requirements for a broadcaster is to have a fluent speaking style, so quite how he has managed to inveigle his way in I do not know. That superior drawl is not a good sound.

    We were watching the tennis yesterday and Mr DD said (not knowing about this thread, obviously) 'Andrew Castle: that's a man I would never tire of punching.' DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben

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