I'm feeling very sad

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stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
edited 3. Nov 2013, 15:25 in Living with Arthritis archive
When I went out, around 2pm, today the new sticky thread at the top of LWA, stating that swearing was now banned, had around 12 posts, mostly disagreeing with the decision but disagreeing without recourse to swearing or abusive language. When I returned around 3.30pm all the posts had been removed and the thread locked.

I know that the Moderators effectively rule the forum and I have, many times, commended them for their hard, wholly voluntary, work at an unenviable task. However, to simply delete so many posts by so many people, with no word of explanation or apology, seems astonishingly and hurtfully aggressive and high-handed.

I feel the forum, which I care deeply about, has lost something very precious today. It's called respect.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
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Comments

  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm not as articulate as Sticky and would come back with something that would at least raise a smile but this defeats me I too am very sad about this. Mig
  • purpleowl
    purpleowl Member Posts: 231
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I wanted to post something on there and couldn't believe the thread had been locked.

    It is a crying shame that the views of members have just been erased like naughty school children. In my view a few swear words with asterisks don't hurt anyone and it's all in a light hearted manner. Oh how very Orwellian! :o

    It's such a shame that Caliban has felt he can't contribute any more, he was great fun!!

    Trish xx
  • mike26
    mike26 Member Posts: 416
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    yes i agree
    this wasnt called for and it wasnt needed.
    mike26 :cry:
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I missed this. I think it's a shame because we're all adults but perhaps AC are worried because they are such a big charity? I haven't read the thread yet though.
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    This makes no sense to me either . Has it been locked because NO ONE used "naughty " words or was someone stamping their feet in a tantrum ? Surely we're all mature enough to cope with a sensible debate !
    Jillyb
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I too am saddened by this. As far as I could see none of the responses made by forum members to that thread on LWA merited this action: the mods do their best and I think that the majority of us acknowledge that it cannot be easy to deal with those who are in constant pain and frustrated by the turn their lives have taken. The lack of compassion towards the newer and older users, no empathy for the same and the utter lack of understanding is not what this forum was about. It used to be a better, more friendly and kindlier place. The high-handed decision to delete reasonable responses, and to lock the thread, reflects the current mood; this is increasingly a place for the takers, not the givers. So be it. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you Sticky and the others for stating far more eloquently, a feeling that I wanted to express but couldn't quite put into words.

    I am very saddened, as debate and free speech make life interesting. So many intelligent, funny and interesting forum members have left.

    The forum used to be a place that was many different things to many members. Some come to vent, some to entertain and others for a giggle. Friendships are made and mutual support is given. Sometimes it seems that the mods are not aware of this?

    I sincerely hope this thread is still here tomorrow.
  • salamander
    salamander Member Posts: 1,906
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I am glad you started this thread Sticky. As one of the posters on there, I was offended by their action. No message to tell me why. Who exactly is this forum for, might I ask? I'm beginning to think it's not fit for purpose.
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    It saddens me also and I reiterate what the rest have said. I have only been on this forum for a year and have had nothing but empathy, sympathy, support, many a laugh, friendship and great advice. I understand there are some sensitive people out there, and you mods have very difficult situations at times and do a great UNPAID job. On a personal note it was my forum members that sorted out a personal situation for me from another member, there was no fuss and the person has not been around anymore. I am a member of a few forums and this is the best I have came across although recently things have felta bit different on here, I realise you have to think of youngsters,(and I do to) but shoot me down, can they not have there own chit-chat to have there own frustrations expressed. I didn't mean this to sound like a rant, I hope this can be resolved. x
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • thistlegirl
    thistlegirl Member Posts: 229
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I too would like to say that I agree with Sticky and all others who have posted here.

    I am a new member to this forum and it has without a doubt saved my sanity in an incredibly difficult time of my life. It angers me that I now have doubts about writing my feelings down in a place that was until now my place of safety. I say things here that I cannot say to those close in my life.
    I now feel hesitant about using this forum as I am unsure if a post I write will be there where I left it. Yes swearing is more unacceptable to some than others but from what I understand the complete posts were removed that complained about the action itself, are we not allowed to disagree, are we not allowed to voice are opinions?
    A lot of our illnesses are made worse by stress and this forum has been the safe place to vent our feelings and ask for help when needed.
    I would never swear on here but on some very tough occasions I do feel an astrix or hashtag gets the message across well without offending, if that does not fit with this forums rules I would have probably accepted that and adjusted my writing to fit the rules but to have posts deleted for disagreeing I have real issues with-as the posts have been removed I do not know there content so feel free to correct me.

    I truly hope that we hear from a moderator soon so we can get an explanation for this.

    I really don't know what to make of this......

    Jenny
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 31. Oct 2013, 05:06
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    ooh I hadn't noticed this..but I posted on there...wounder why they have locked it ....thanks for bringing this up SW...I like Maria idea..that young people could maybe have there own chitchat... :)just a thought the one in chitchat is there... :?
    Love
    Barbara
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    It's normal to thank those who post on our threads but I think those who have posted above deserve special thanks as it inevitably involved publicly disagreeing with a Moderators' decision and thus sticking one's head above the parapet. Special thanks to jillyb1 who posted on the original thread saying she disliked swearing per se yet still returned here to defend our right to have contrary opinions.

    So many of you have made points that resonate with me.

    Purpleowl – I agreet. We are not naughty children and, I think, deserve to be treated as adults.

    Suzygirl – yes, debate and free speech do make life interesting, and a homogenised forum is good for neither.

    Thistlegirl – you are right in that 'complete posts (an entire thread) were removed that complained about the action itself' ie the decision to ban all swearwords 'and asterisks'.

    I won't be around much today as I have a busy day ahead of me. I still feel sad but at least reassured that this thread is still here. Dialogue is essential where there is conflict of opinions and I would be delighted if one or more moderators would join in too. Without dialogue, resentment and bitterness creep in. They help no-one but they do provide an ideal breeding ground for pain.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    The decision concerns and saddens me too. Surely leaving the thread open is a good way to gather members' views in one place? Now those views are going to be scattered around, mostly somewhat obliquely as irritated references or humorous digs in general posts, with the potential to fester.
    In terms of considering the young people who may be viewing the posts,I would make the following comments. Firstly, the fact that there is a separate section for under 25's would suggest that this is an adult area, and the views expressed are intended for an adult audience.Secondly, I wonder to what extent they are significantly affected/bothered by the occasional bleeped/disguised swear word. Even if they don't use such language themselves they are unlikely to be shielded from it in their everyday lives.If they are arthritis sufferers themselves they are likely to understand where the use of such words comes from. Thirdly, where does one draw the line in terms of 'suitable' material? What about the innuendo, especially that associated with a certain stretchy material, and the sometimes detailed descriptions of distressing personal circumstances?
    I have always been struck by how civilised this forum is in terms of consideration for others , together with non-judgemental moderation, and I really do question the necessity for this, to me, heavy-handed, approach.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Like thistlegirl, I too have lost a valuable outlet. I am fearful of writing anything any more so probably won't. The forum has been a large part of my ever-increasing-indoor life and I shall miss it, and the majority of people on here, very much. I will keep looking in, just to keep updated with those who are really struggling, and do my best to offer help and support to them but no more.

    What I won't miss is the intolerance of the members' views, all of which were reasonably and politely expressed. I have seen examples of AC's mods' dictatorial behaviour before and for me this last is one step too far. Over recent months the forum has become bland and anodyne, the fun aspect has gone, I think the tranformation from the vibrancy and colour I discovered in April 2010 to stillness with a background of neutral, inoffensive beige is complete. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • kentishlady
    kentishlady Member Posts: 809
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I agree with everything you have all said. I think it is a great shame that it appears we are no longer permitted to state opinions. Obviously swearing is a 'sensitive' issue but, as someone else has already mentioned, anyone suffering with the extreme pain of any of the different forms of Arthur, will completely understand the use of an occasional swear word - most of which we intersperse with asterisks anyway!

    It will be interesting to see how long this topic is allowed to remain. A great shame as I have found the forum to be of great support to me, and I know others have too.

    I agree with you DD, but will keep in touch with those of you I have pm'd.

    Beryl
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi
    Well said everyone
    I also replied to the swearing one and very annoyed that it has been censored!
    I will not be back on here for awhile as I'm so so annoyed with the moderators at min yes they do a good job but I do feel they have gone too far this time!
    I always found that here we could be ourselves and not be judged but it does not seem the case now
    Thank you SW for this post
    All be kind to yourselves and hopefully I will be back at some point but just not a happy bunny at min
    Maria
  • thistlegirl
    thistlegirl Member Posts: 229
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I hope and presume that we haven't heard anything from the moderators as they are having another meeting to discuss how this can be resolved. ....

    maybe I am an optimist but I hope to hear from you soon before this action changes/destroys a lifeline to so many of us.

    Please fix this

    Jenny
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Can I just say that a couple of years ago we had some bullying on here...and it ended in a few people leaving....the forum changed for the better...has for the swearing I don't agree we should leave it in,has anyone been on some of the American forums.. :shock: I am not a prude and swear to myself many a time but never in front of children...
    But I cant see what wrong with putting **** in...
    Love
    Barbara
  • salamander
    salamander Member Posts: 1,906
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm not saying things like bullying shouldn't be dealt with, clearly they should but, in my view, had forum users been left to their own devices they would have shut out the bullies eventually. As it was, some forum members were banned by mods or left because they didn't feel supported, if I remember correctly, and they weren't the bullies but the ones who were being bullied and fought back. I left for a while because I found the moderation too draconian.

    Other forums manage quite well without being censored. On another one I've posted on regularly I've never seen a swear word, and it is very poorly moderated, but survives with a core group of supportive users. I fully expect to be banned from this place because of my criticism but I've given DD my email address if anyone wants to keep in touch.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sorry Sal but why would you be banned...I haven't seen you post anything you shouldn't :?
    Love
    Barbara
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,936
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you Sticky
    I know a lot of children who swear and they are worse if you say anything to them.
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • MrOptimist
    MrOptimist Member Posts: 175
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Well, I agree with the Moderators' decision to ban swear words for many reasons. No, I'm not so perfect that I never use them :), but certainly wouldn't on a public forum.
  • lululu
    lululu Member Posts: 486
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks Daffy yo have just said much more eloquently whatI was about to say

    Also the forum has become bland and beige, and Calibans' posts brightened things up somewhat, I suppose it is beige full stop now.
  • ichabod6
    ichabod6 Member Posts: 843
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    XXXXXX me! What is all the fuss about? It's been
    beige before.

    Edited by Moderator J
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    ichabod6 wrote:
    XXXXXX me! What is all the fuss about? It's been
    beige before.
    Well said... :lol: fuss over nothing

    Edited by Moderator J
    Love
    Barbara
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