So today has been a particularly bad day my legs are throbbing burning in my knees and my lower back has been unbearable. Took all my meds no relief which I am sure we all have these days. Lately I find myself reduced to tears as I feel helpless and I try to share with my bf and he just says to me u cry all the time really easily, which then upsets me even more. I feel like I have no one to turn to as I think he just thinks I am being stupid is this normal ?
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Babsb
You are not being stupid and it is not helpful of your bf to say or think that, however the arthritis is a problem for him as well as you, and his attitude may reflect his difficulty in coping with it. Seeing a loved one suffering and being unable to do anything to help is very hard at the best of times, but I think men have an added hurdle - well 2 actually - in that fixing problems is how they tend to like to operate, and that emotions are a bit of a no-go area.
There are two bits of reading that might be of use - the spoon theory, and the gorilla in the house(this is a link from a forum member https://arthritiscareforum.org.uk/living.../i-have-a-gorilla-in-my-house-t30318.html)
At some point you and he will need to sit down and discuss this all, but for now please be kind to yourself and concentrate on getting a bit more on top of the pain and depression. Keep posting, talk to the Helplines - sharing is better than bottling it all up and getting even more distressed.
I began arthritis the year we married (we'd been together for ten years prior) so he's witnessed my decline every step (ha-ha) of the way but having a history of poor health I already had coping strategies in place - if this is coming at you from out of the blue then it is a very difficult time indeed. I know that he feels frustrated that there is nothing he can do to improve matters but I know that he does with his unfailing support and encouragement. He's had to learn to live with arthritis too, it's not all about me, or you, or anyone else on here. DD
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I wish I could help and hope you have a rheumatology appointment very soon
((()))
Toni xxx
Toni xxx
You mention you suffer with RLS. Fluoxetine is listed on the RLS-UK website:https://www.rls-uk.org/treatment/ as one of the medications to avoid.
Trazodone generally do not worsen RLS. Mirtazapine (Remeron) will worsen RLS for a small minority but not everyone.
If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.