OMG I’m so GRUMPY

Hi Keef

Yep being in pain is not good for our mood. It’s a catch 22- I don’t want to moan about my pain to friends and family, yet I want them to notice when I’m struggling. My husband’s quite good at spotting when I am struggling. We were out on a walk when I admitted I was in some pain and needed a painkiller. He said he wondered when I was going to say something. I asked him how he knew. He said I’d stopped talking and was limping a bit. He suggested we headed back home and watch a film instead.

My grown up children rarely notice if I’m having a bad day. Taking to my bed with my painkillers is usually when they are aware I’ve had enough.We shouldn’t have to hide when we are in pain or having a bad day but some people will have the gift and notice but others just don’t see it. I suppose there are two sides- we need to explain what it’s like and how we feel and they need to listen.

Today it’s my cough that’s bugging me. Every time I cough the pain in my back is terrible- feels like very sore bones banging against each other. I get sympathy for my terrible cough but that’s nothing compared to the pain in my back but as most people haven’t experienced that pain they don’t understand. Ah well I’ve had a moan and feel better.

I think we are all entitled to be grumpy sometimes, but only for a little while. I always feel better when out in the country with nature, views and fresh air. I think as soon as spring arrives and some warmer weather we will all be less grumpy.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

Take care

Debbie

Crikey Keef. I have those feelings too.

I had a good cry last night, felt proper sorry for myself I did. Unfortunately my poor husband got to bear the brunt of it.

l have been awake since about 5 o’clock this morning ( part of the problem) sleeping and getting a restful night is impossible sometimes. Physical pain is one thing, emotional feelings are a whole different level. I hate being like this.

I think we are entitled to feel miserable sometimes. It’s ok not to be ok. Maybe we could get some badges made. What would you have on yours??

Oh yes, I know the feeling of being grumpy. Last week when we had the freezing cold weather and snow, my arthritis was really playing up and I felt so grumpy with everything and was trying hard not to keep moaning at my hubby. I normally try and hide my feelings, but I had to let my hubby know that I was not coping very well. I have been asking him to help out with various chores and it is surprising how little things like that help. Also, I try and distract myself and keep busy by doing a jigsaw, puzzles or reading and listening to the radio more.

Getting out in the fresh air was a no-no last week, but this year I am going to make a New Years resolution and that is to do more walking, even if it is just to the top of the road and back.

Well now I feel a lot better after offloading and will make a big effort to not be grumpy over Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all of you lovely people .🎄

Thank you for the above messages. I don’t feel so alone after reading them.

I am grumpy and very emotional at the moment and worried about spoiling the family Christmas.

I am seven weeks into the arthritis journey and I feel as though i have lost all control.

So many things I can’t do and asking for help goes against the grain as I have always been very independent.

Sorry to be so negative but I do hope that everyone has an enjoyable Christmas!

Keef keep your posts coming, you make me chuckle.

Merry Christmas!!

Oh, yes. Feeling that I was doing all the holiday prep on my own--what really did me in yesterday was one too many times down the stairs to do all the laundry for the guest beds. My hip was screaming, and so was I. My husband was enjoying the start of his vacation by doing nothing at all. Urrrgggghhhh! When he finally came to help bring up the last load, he said, "Why didn't you just ask for help?" Duh! Sometimes thinking I have to do it all must seem a little, um, stupid! Still, I would have thought that my frequent screams of pain WERE a way of asking for help. Happy holidays to everyone, and take care. For me, the hard stuff is done, so I intend to absolutely nothing but sit back and enjoy. And try to stay "not grumpy"!

@Lilymary , you are right. It has been shown that '-proper swearing' as opposed to fake swearing, increases our pain tolerance https://www.keele.ac.uk/research/researchnews/2020/june/traditional-swearing/tolerate-pain.php#:~:text=Keele%20University%20psychologists%20have%20proven,compared%20to%20using%20alternative%20language. (No wonder my pain tolerance is quite good😆)

@Baloo , I think there's a lot of wisdom in what you write. I have learnt, over many years, to value effort over achievement.

@TLee , when I first joined here, long, long ago, there was a thread on which many of us confessed to chucking dirty laundry downstairs (rather than carrying it) in one case over a just-arrived visitor😁 When my kids were young I left anything that had to go upstairs at the bottom to be taken next time I needed the loo rather than separate trips. As for husbands - it's called Selective Perception. They must be asked. To be fair, I'd want to be asked too. We are in it together. BUT do pace yourself. Start 'guest prep' about a month in advance. Then use them when they arrive😊

@movingslowly , I swear at many inanimate objects these days, especially machines that constantly beep at me to tell me they want attention NOW. I tend to be less harsh on my joints, though, as I'm aware I need them. I'm more likely to encourage. "Come on, you can do this", even when I have strong doubts. Sometimes I'm right☺

Keef. I think what you seek is a "de-grump" strategy. I try and think when I wake up, not "How's the arthritis today" but whatfjun is there to be had. Distraction is generally accepted as he;ping to cope with pain. Get wholly involved in something else and the effect is amazing.

CCM

Pain seems to be stopping me Keef, on a bit of a downer this past couple of days.

wondering if these blessed tablets I am taking will ever kick in. Think I’m going to be doing a fair bit of swearing this week.

I wish there was a way of photographing pain so people could see our pain levels.

My husband doesn't understand pain although he sees me suffer he just tells me to stop being bad tempered and to cheer up.

Unless you've suffered true pain you cannot understand it.

Take care, Trish xx

@Woofy have a jolly good swear. Go for gold :)

know what you mean when you put your faith in the meds and trust the professionals' assurances but alas, the body lets us down (again) How far in to your course are you?

My biggest grumble is when the pain stops the tidying up. No point letting the untidiness go on today, it seems better to face the pain barrier and get the tidying up done through all the pain. I wish it was easier but its not going to happen. At least the tidying up is self inflicted pain with a purpose, so maybe that makes it easier to take. I throw in a few Gordon Bennett or similar as we go along. I'm working my way through the junk on the settee and stopped for a sandwich.