Angry!

Morning @Dide

I am so sorry to hear about your OA in your hands just as you were about to retire and have sone fun with your new husband too😠

You are in shock a bit I can see that so it feels as though the world had 'ended' I did exactly the same when it happened to me, but years and years later I realise that most of what i feared did not happen.

I am still standing (more or less!) and having a great life travelling and walking most days. I am on my second marriage too and just beginning to have time with my husband on our own with the last of the kids having flown the nest.

That's good what Christine teh moderator has done since she retired. There's more to our mods than I realised!

Take care and keep posting ((()))

Toni

Hi @Dide

Hope the above comments give you encouragement that there is still a great chance of you having a wonderful enjoyable retirement. Hopefully you'll find a treatment and exercises to keep your OA at bay.

I've heard a lot of great things about Wax bath therapy | Side-effects, uses | Versus Arthritis, it might be worth looking into.

Pleased you are feeling a little more empowered after physio appt.

Best wishes

Bettyboo

I was chatting to a friednd this morning. We've both had inflammatory arthritis for years and she's in a flare. I'm having a few problems too right now and we both have lovely husbands who are willingly taking up the slack in housework. We agreed how lucky we were and how irritating it is😉

I've cherished my independence most of my life. When i was first diagnosed, my mother would have wrapped me up in cotton wool but i was 15 and had the usual things I wanted to do. So I did them. However, she was great when i flared after both pregnancies.

I think we have to accept that arthritis affects everyone in a household. but differently. For that reason i think it's essential that we keep talking about it. not in a 'poor me' way but in a matter of fact way that sorts out the best ways to deal with things.

Flares come when they will but we know we can make things worse any tme by doing too much or, indeed, not doing enough. (Your hand exercises are a good idea.) Sometimes overdoing things may be 'essential', 'necessary' or just plain worth the payback. But, if you can stay together on it, it wil be beneficial to both of you. It's horrible having to watch those we love in pain. I guess your husband is trying to deal with that by 'dealing' with your pain as best he can. They do, frequently, get it wrong, bless 'em, but, if we're open about what's wrong and how they can help (sometimes by not helping though they have to have that explained!) there is less frustration for all.

It's a steep learning curve. I'm 63 years into RA and 55 years into marriage and we're both still learning. But learning can be fun especially if the 'we need to talk' sessions are held over a nice meal with a bottle of wine.

One more thing - a valuable lesson that arthritis has taught me. For every cherished thing you have to give up, don't nurse the grief and anger, just take up something else. That has led me down some fascinating pathways that I'd never, otherwise, have taken.

Hi @Dide

Your husband sounds just like mine and he drives me absolutely bonkers persististently telling me to stop doing something and rest. If I can do something I will and to heck with the consequence.

I'm a typical assertive stubborn Taurean who doesn't tolerate being told no!

It can lead to some interesting conversations but I'm not prepared to lie down and play the invalid card just because if this stupid OA which is currently in both of my hips so well done in standing up for yourself!

Love n hugs

Trish xx