at puter at 01.51, ha, the puter clocks an hour out

13

Comments

  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    hip hip hooray! our Cris! welcome to pre-op :D:D

    I was beginnin to get a little nervous in here all on my own...the dogs keep circling and there's a very weird smell (not me I might add) coming from the basement (theatre?)

    I've had a peep through the pre-op room window and can't see any anaesthetics or even gas & air! just a whacking great mallet in the corner with the initials DB engraved on the handle.......

    I'm glad Janie that you're up to speed on the CPR....I think I might need it just to get on the trolley. :wink: I see it doubles up as a drinks trolley...clever thinking airwave. :lol:

    has DD calmed down yet? is she really going to be my nurse?? I thought she was making the tea!
    s050.gif

    Iris x :lol:
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    DD is a tealady but we could bypass the 3 years training and she could be your nurse if you wish Iris

    I'm off to do some paperwork now, shuffle some paper around and do the staff rota (offduty) so see you tomorrow

    Janie
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,384
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Aha!!

    TWO victims for monday morning :D ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

    Might we try Daisy's radio 7 as an aneasthetic?? would it work? ( Sorry :wink: )

    If not.....


    let me think.....


    DEl's hammer.....no?


    Do they get to choose - Daisy's stapler or Dels £ shop sellotape??
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Being your tealady is merely a guise. I have greater, and better, plans for all of you. Just wait and see. :shock: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Lets see, neck operation........, uuhhhh, might have to look on one of the other search engines, computer says no! I have some block and tackle and can offer a stretch, oh no, thats what the hangman does, silly me.

    Is whiskey a good disinfectant? It's what they use in all the films, it didn't do John Wayne any harm, I'll order some more stocks in, just in case! I wonder if we could get it piped in like oxygen?

    Anyrate, I'm management now, looking after the staff bar, wheres our resident surgeon?

    8) Its a grin, honest!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Right, it's time to sweep out mell's shed, put down clean straw, check stocks of liquid anaesthetic (delboy was due to be on the lash last night with his chums, so they might have helped themselves, which is fine), check cake and biccy levels, appoint a surgeon and sort out the music. Dorcas will be arriving soon, we need to make sure she's comfy. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    DD

    you've forgotten the bloomin tea again!!! Call yourself a tealady??

    Who's got the tape/plasters etc?

    Janie
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I thought I had been removed from those duties. My apologies. Will return home now to get the urn. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    DD

    you is still my fav tealady, the other duties have been added on. Will you get any extra pay? Nope, just like the NHS expects, heap loads of more work,paperwork and for diddlysquat.

    How is the shed shaping up?

    Janie
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    We need more straw. I'll contact skezier, she must have loads. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    glad to see you are taking my needs seriously at last. :wink:

    the straw will break my fall when I roll off the table after my whiskey anaesthetic..... :lol:
    I take it I'm the only one (plus Cris of course x) who'll be imbibing the national drink?

    who's the surgeon? you seem to be lacking some of your qualified staff...not turning up for shifts indeed...where's their sense of duty?

    Hope the doc's at least seen a copy of the Hippocratic oath!!!

    where's my welcome pack & tea and biccies then? ...a G&T wouldn't go amiss either. :mrgreen: ...purely for medicinal purposes of course!

    Iris x
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Listen MASH staff,

    we've got an awkward victim coming in, wants this and that, goes by the name of Iris. Wants, tea,biccies and g&t. Just need to remind her, that sort of stuff is for staff ONLY

    :D:lol:

    Janie

    oh how is our staff bar, well stocked I hope!
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    janie68 wrote:
    victim.....Wants, tea,biccies and g&t. Just need to remind her, that sort of stuff is for staff ONLY

    B***dy typical! you're more NHS than I thought!!!
    :lol::lol:

    Iris
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    We must have got the NHS funding :lol::lol::lol:

    2 bales of straw for the shed and Iris I got you some decent hay....... :wink: You'll be fine but I drunk most the whisky and now in my too small uniform I shall be your nurse.... Animals trained but Janie's given me a crash course in head injuries and CPR you'll be fine Iris :lol::lol::lol: Still a bit of malt left flower..... hic, hic, hic

    Janie am I ok to work like this :wink: I have made the shed habital and in case the surgeon needs it have put in the bush cutter (its got a nice clean Blade Iris :wink: )

    Can I have a tea break Janie, please can I please (I noticed when having the drip the nurses don't seem to get many..... or lunch breaks :shock: ) Sorry I keep falling over but some one had to test the malt :lol::lol::lol: x

    Hey Airwave my consultants computer definitely said no as well :lol::lol: Tis only an RSJ I want putting in there :wink: x
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,384
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Airwave

    Found something on necks....

    well monkey necks....

    cant be much different can it?

    Cris the hay smells lovely :D

    Will go an get the tea on so Daisy can have a **** break (whether or not she smokes), got ashtrays for the theatre too - the hygeine satdards are very high here....

    Wont have any of that MRSA malarky....

    did anyone order the leeches?

    Toni xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I've sharpened the junior hacksaw and bought some spare blades, just in case. What we don't have is gags. Anyone got an old sheet we can rip up? DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Now steady on with that crate of whiskey, its got to last us till next Wednesday! I didn't realize nurses drank so much, I should've brought those smaller half pint glasses!

    Yes, of course the patients get a drink, Teachers blended, not the good malt stuff! If they complain, tell them we spend all the money on their staff and accommodation not lace curtains! Talking about curtains, my mum (bless her heart) says we can have her old best ones from the sitting room for the patients, theres kindness, eh!

    The cow is installed in the shed, fresh milk every day, we seem to have plenty of hay in there!! The chickens are on their way, don't know where we're gonna put them, do you? Someone will have to take them leeches home with them, dunno what you'll feed them on though?

    Do you know, I should have done this for a career ..... I could have been something, earning more than the prime minister does.

    8) Its a grin, honest!
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Yes let's all go for a tea break!!

    I've just got to go and get the leather restraints for the surgeons couch...

    Janie
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Oh I thought the leeches could be put into the bin for the bits and pieces chopped off??

    Airwave more malt in my tea please

    Janie
  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    janie68 wrote:
    Oh I thought the leeches could be put into the bin for the bits and pieces chopped off??

    Airwave more malt in my tea please

    Janie

    Just a teaspoon of malt in yer evening Earl Grey, loverly!

    8)Its a grin (hic),.........honest!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Right, I have raided my S&M dungeon and now have all manner of lovely restraints and other exciting things. Cleaned them up and blown off the cobwebs. Never mind the patients, the staff are going to have a whale of a time! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I thought Cris was coming in as a patient??? now she's drunk all the malt and is lolling about the place in that skimpy uniform... this is a serious business you know..not a sketch from a 'carry on' film'.
    ..... please do not let her loose with the bush cutter either. :shock:

    Toni's lost the plot too....smoking in theatre....and she's the one that's talking about those damn leeches! yaghhhh!!!

    ...but I had to laugh at the 'monkey necks' good luck Cris when your turn comes :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

    bloody hell (sorry mods) I've just read mad DD's comment about junior hacksaw blades and needing gags...for whom may I ask??? (tremble)

    airwave...now be sensible...teacher's? you have to be joking??

    I hope that cow isn't coming in here...shove off will ya and take them scrawny hens with you.....feathers everywhere on my nice clean goonie too....

    for gawd's sake....'leeches' for what bits that will fall off ?
    I ain't agreed to have no bits chopped off......does anyone in this mad house listen??? restraints? what restraints? who needs restraining??? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

    Listen.... I think I've changed my mind...just give me my money back and I'll go private...

    Iris x

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Another volunteer as a staff member here, although I can only do short shifts just now.

    You've all forgotten the maggots, the ether and the carbolic spray!
    Too worried about your instruments to concentrate...............

    I have my own uniform, true, it's a French maid one, but I can adjust it a bit - I've got a larger pinny somewhere.

    Oooh, just remembered, what about the pencillin powder?

    Annie
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    The hacksaw is for you darling, just you. Oh this is sooooo delicious! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    The hacksaw is for you darling, just you. Oh this is sooooo delicious! DD

    Lucretia Borgia, eat your heart out.; you've nothing on our very own DD (Diabolic Damsel)

    exit stage left me thinks...the hour cometh..and so do the loons!
    s010.gif

    Iris x

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