Space, the Final Frontier - a forum voyage into the unknown

joanlawson

Captain JL calling!! Are you ready???

Five, four, three, two, one, ignition, lift-off!!!!!!!

Join us on a voyage of adventure and discovery - a momentous development for Chit Chat forum as it escapes the clutches of Earth's gravity.

The space suits are by Chanel and Armani and we drink only the finest wines from containers designed for weightless conditions. Has anybody got the freeze-dried canapés?

"Put the music on Number Two" ...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJob0L5yiKA&feature=fvw

"Duty Navigator Mell, set a course for Andromeda. It's only 2,500,000 light years away :!: :!: We could be here for some time :!: :!:

annie_mial

Is there a loo on the Moon? I'm getting a bit anxious and someone's swiped the bucket. Um.........can't find any pockets in this spacesuit, where do I put me hankie?

Annie

valval

do not forget me and trisher we will love being weightless

joanlawson

annie_mial wrote:

Is there a loo on the Moon? I'm getting a bit anxious and someone's swiped the bucket. Um.........can't find any pockets in this spacesuit, where do I put me hankie?

Annie

Hi Annie

You should've gone before we set off, shouldn't you :?: :roll: But don't worry, this spaceship has all mod cons, no buckets required. I don't think we'll stop off at the moon- too dusty, and it might spoil our Chanel and Armani spacesuits. You can put your hankie in your Hermes handbag. Victoria Beckham has loaned us some of hers ( she's got over 100 of them )

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2009/may/18/victoria-beckham-hermes-handbags?picture=347519434#/?picture=347519434&index=0

joanlawson

pixyandfaries wrote:

ok found me !

Hi Jan

Welcome on board the Arthurship :!: You look great :!:

joanlawson

valval wrote:

do not forget me and trisher we will love being weightless

Hi Val and Trisher

Welcome :!: :!: Being weightless will be lovely, won't it? It will take the pressure off our joints for a while, so we'll be floating and free :!:

annie_mial

joanlawson wrote:

annie_mial wrote:

Is there a loo on the Moon? I'm getting a bit anxious and someone's swiped the bucket. Um.........can't find any pockets in this spacesuit, where do I put me hankie?

Annie

Hi Annie

You should've gone before we set off, shouldn't you :?: :roll: But don't worry, this spaceship has all mod cons, no buckets required. I don't think we'll stop off at the moon- too dusty, and it might spoil our Chanel and Armani spacesuits. You can put your hankie in your Hermes handbag. Victoria Beckham has loaned us some of hers ( she's got over 100 of them )

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2009/may/18/victoria-beckham-hermes-handbags?picture=347519434#/?picture=347519434&index=0

Well, thank heavens for that (literally). I'll pinch the pink one before anyone else gets in.......it will clash nicely with my luminous orange spacesuit (think Armani was having an off day; I'd have preferred something in chinz).

Annie (much relieved)

joanlawson

rehab44 wrote:

Permission to come aboard Captain?

Hi Number Two. You are already aboard. Sorry, forgot to tell you :!: You are looking SO handsome tonight :!:

joanlawson

And call that a sword??? This is a sword mate !!!

[/quote]

Typical male :!: Have you not heard that size doesn't matter :?: :roll:

joanlawson

delboy wrote:

I'm waiting for you. 8)

OH NO :!: :!: Not PIRATES IN SPACE :!: :!: And I thought we had left them behind somewhere on a desert island :!: :shock:

joanlawson

Message from Captain JL to passengers and crew:

I hope you all slept well in your space pods. I forgot to mention that these can be decorated and equipped in any way you wish to make your journey more comfortable. We have robots to carry out the work, so just let me know what you require.

All systems are functioning correctly. The ION drive is currently running at 78% efficiency and communications are normal.

However I am detecting some erroneous data inputs that may cause unplanned for bouts of hysterics amongst the crew.

The Dilythium crystals have been energised and the plasma conduits are fully functioning. Would you like me to make the jump to warp speed?

trisher

U HOO U HOO Am I too late???

Can you hear me Over and out. Or Roger got that Mission Control is affirmative. Good at this space talk can I join your ship??

Trish xx

joanlawson

Just one small complaint about my tri-corder? I would appreciate a newer model Captain

OK, Number Two. It does look rather an out-of-date model, probably left over from a previous mission. I will get one of the robots to replace it for you immediately.

Are you ready to jump to warp speed now :?: Navigator Mell hasn't woken up yet, so I'll just point the Arthurship in the general direction of Andromeda and hope for the best

joanlawson

trisher wrote:

U HOO U HOO Am I too late???

Can you hear me Over and out. Or Roger got that Mission Control is affirmative. Good at this space talk can I join your ship??

Trish xx

Hi Trish

Val beamed you up yesterday, along with herself, so you are already onboard the Arthurship. Are you enjoying being weightless :?: Let me know how you would like your pod decorated, and any special requirements.

joanlawson

On a purely technical note, has anyone tried any rumpy pumpy yet? I would think it would be difficult in weightlessness

Newton's Third Law of motion may cause some difficulties, but 2-suits are available for scietific research purposes.

joanlawson

RIGHT :!: HOLD ON TIGHT, EVERYONE :!: :!:

JUMPING TO WARP SPEED NOW :!: :!: :!:

joanlawson

2-suits do exist. See http://uk.ask.com/wiki/2suit

Those of a nervous disposition don't read :!: :shock:

mellman01

Bloody hell how do I keep me glasses on my head in zero G then!?, ye gods and to think I thought gravity was a pain in the bum but this takes the biscuit, I mean there no flushing loo and you have to drink out of baby bottles not very intergalatic is it, more mother care!

Right now where the hell did 7 of 9 float off too?, she was going to show me her Borge recharging socket!

Oh one last thing if any of you feel like sneazing my advice is don't, firstly it's rather messy and secondly you will find you propel yourself all over the dam place!.

trisher

valval wrote:

do not forget me and trisher we will love being weightless

Hi Pal

Thanks for beaming me up. Awe look I can do a cartwheel Whey hey this is good Val your turn.

Joan please do my pod anyway I know it will look nice. Mission Control that is affirmative.

Hear that Val we are getting good at this see what you can do.

Did Annie come on board? What about Jules she will like this??

Trish xxx

mellman01

an intergalictic poop deck sounds messy to me!?.

annie_mial

I'm here Trish! I got warped for a moment and came all over alike..........I'm ok now I've managed to get my finger out of the plughole.

Hey, Mell - I've got a double barrel recharging and recall system attached to my foot, is that any good?

Joan! Joan! What do I do wiv me apple peel?

Annie

trisher

OER gone all unnescessary again seeing that man, I'm all of a quiver too I best go and lay down to the quivering has stopped. :shock:#

Trish xx

trisher

Jan

Never understood a word he said do you know???

joanlawson

As we voyage into deep space, the crew and passengers maintain a dignified silence, awestruck by the magnificence of the cosmos.

(Well, either that, or they're all in the bar on level three :!: )An open bar is operating on level three for all voyagers. Drinks are of course in powder form only to keep down the weight of provisions. This includes the water, and all drinks have to be rehydrated once inside the body. I have no idea how this is possible.

WARNING :!: BLEEP, BLEEP :!: :!: URGENT :!: :!:

I have detected a small problem with the parabolic antenna and anticipate this will fail in 13 hours and 12 minutes. Someone will be required to EVA and replace the JG-47 unit.

A volunteer is required for an extra-vehicular activity. It is necessary to replace a thingamabob (official technical term for the more commonly known JG-47 unit).

Is anybody willing to step outside into deep space?

Navigator Mell,
Retain warp speed, avoid incoming asteroids and continue the path to Andromeda.

Keep Fit Class with our super-fit Number Two ( rehab ) begins at 08.30 hours - all crew and passengers are expected to report.


Captain JL

To infinity and beyond :!: :!: :!:

trisher

Joan Captain or whoever you are called now a space walk I will do as long as you promise you won't drive off with me stuck outside on an umbilical cord.

Trish The baveheart.

joanlawson

WOW That was quick :!: :!: I wasn't expecting anyone to volunteer tonight. You are very brave, Trisher, and you will be awarded the Arthurship Badge of Honour when your mission is completed.

I will let you know when I've fixed up the umbilical cord, because we don't want you floating off into space. Better take your brolly with you for emergencies :!:



Captain JL