It's time to re-open the M.A.S.H. unit

dreamdaisy

I have come to this conclusion in light of the many and horrific events that have been going on on here in the past few days/weeks. skezier is going thro hell somewhere in Cornwall, dorcas is going thro hell somewhere in Scotland, dachshund has had a tricky time lately, Rob was gong thro hell over Christmas but could now probably do with a top-up of TLC, julie47 is awaiting surgery that none of us has had, theresa4 has a rash, cherrybim and bobbyger have both been under various surgeon's knives this week, alarkra and trasluvie are still not sure what the hell is going on, similar with BoleynBlue, salamander had gate and fridge problems, poppyg1rl had her first draining/steroiding and a birthday yesterday, del hasn't been sleeping, nanasue has a nasty infection and me? Well, I think you will all agree I am by far and away the winner here: I have a very nasty cold. So. . . . . .

It's time to spring-clean mellman's shed (oooops, sorry, workshop) and get in copious supplies of fresh straw. Airwave can re-stock the bar (he needs a new bar maid, BTW, any volunteers?), livinglegend ( our estimable surgeon who has 'sorted' an ankle and a big toe earlier this week) can supply new paintings for the walls, frogmorton is back form her hols, so can 'woman' the tea trolley whilst sporting a small white bikini to show off her tan, it strikes me that barbara12, tillytop and caterina57 will make excellent nurses and tjt (once recovered from a difficult situation) will be the new 'face' of our very own M.A.S.H. Radio! SORTED OR WHAT? We will all be better much faster with this arrangement than our current one of everyone struggling in their own homes. To infinity and beyond! (Well, mell's shed, oooops, sorry, workshop). DD

(If I have omitted anyone in the trials and tribulations bit I apologise. Send me a PM, reminding me what's been gong on, and I will put you in!)

traluvie

DD...

Sounds like a great idea....

I am reporting to duty....

What will my new role be.. i am very multi talented lol...

barbara12

Count me in DD...Im am ready and waiting....nurses uniform at the ready....and I am very gentle..can we combine it with the other den..
Barbarax

dreamdaisy

traluvie, you are one of the patients until I decide otherwise. Barbara? Wot a brillo idea! Yer on! (Mind you, our stocks'll run out quicker, can we face that?) DD

traluvie

dreamdaisy wrote:

traluvie, you are one of the patients until I decide otherwise. Barbara? Wot a brillo idea! Yer on! (Mind you, our stocks'll run out quicker, can we face that?) DD

Am i the guinea pig lol...

coco67

can i come in?, have you got room for one more? im only little so wont take up much room(tired of dealing with this arthur rubbish sat at home alone) i dont mind cleaning etc (but cant iron) in order to pay for my keep.

dreamdaisy

del, I have dug up an old chaise longue so you can recline in comfort - I will allocate a nurse in due course once I have done some auditions to see who has the most soothing singing voice.

coco? Of course you can come in, I will find a lovely sunny corner for you and send frog round with the tea. You may also have a chocolate hob-nob from my private stash. DD

frogmorton

Tea up!!!


TEA UP!!!!!!!

Anyone for a cup of tea?

like the tan???

dreamdaisy

Ye gods! del has swooned on his chaise longue, mell's eyes are out on stalks, livinglegend sounds just like Lesley Phillips ('ding dong!), Rob's turned pink and scuttled out, airwave's having a restorative brandy (or five) and all the women are sulking.

Oh frog, it's good to have you back!

gemmapetken

can I take the bar maid please! I would be very good!! Honest!
Just need a bar stool and someone to lug the heavy boxes around!!!
Gxxx

dreamdaisy

OK gemmapetken, you are the barmaid. I have a suitable top here - yes, I know, slashed to the waist is a little trashy but you have the required chesticles that merit such a display. Just make sure that Airwave doesn't drop too many glasses (or anything else for that matter).

Right, del, I have found you a chanteuse for the lullabies, Bonnie Tyler will be pitching up in due course. What do you mean, not soothing enough, you want Eva Cassidy? You can't, she ain't about (for a very good reason) and Ms Tyler is cheap. We don't have that much money to splash about, you know. DD

caterina57

My Nurses uniform is on - a bit tight, but on- are there rules about cleavage? oh well the top button will have to stay undone, now who needs seeing to first!
Cath

chris7

Hi all

Just leaving some hot soup for those who can face it. The nurses uniforms may have woken a few up with some interest.




and some comfort teddy bears for those who need to rest.



I'll make a few beds while I am here, looks like we might be needing them.

Hang in there guys ((( )))
Chris x

traluvie

chris7 wrote:

Hi all

Just leaving some hot soup for those who can face it. The nurses uniforms may have woken a few up with some interest.




and some comfort teddy bears for those who need to rest.



I'll make a few beds while I am here, looks like we might be needing them.

Hang in there guys ((( )))
Chris x

Soup sounds nice Cris.. i can take my tabs with that...
Thanks

tkachev

Can I be Hot Lips Houlihan please?


Elizabeth

dreamdaisy

Of course you can - just keep an eye on the men's BPs tho, please! (I think you should have been on the in-patient list, tkachev, sorry. :oops: but as you were out and about yesterday I guess you are on the up!)

chris7, thank you for the soup and teddies - the cuddly variety that is, most of us would not look that good in the lingerie version (well, I know I wouldn't! )

traluvie, pills with water first, then the soup. Get back into bed now, there's a good girl. You will be allowed up when we know what's going on with you. DD

bobbyger

Sounds a great idea DD, as long as the toilets are close by, I can't manage any long walks to the latrine at the mo

Rob

traluvie

Yes Miss DD....

Am all tucked up in bed now..

As i am a patient does that mean i get massage therapy on all my stiff joints???

dreamdaisy

Rob, you are a boy so what's your problem with the empty six pint milk bottle I left by your bed? (Obviously I widened the top for you.)

traluvie, I will get Nurse Caterina57 onto you ASAP (she's propping up the bar at the moment, she's had a tough morning.) DD

bobbyger

DD,

Nothing wrong with using an empty 6 pint milk bottle, but with the amount of tea and coffee my mother has been giving me, I'll need more then 1.

dreamdaisy

Bloody 'ell! Where do you think you are - a private hospital? OK, I'll see what recycling material frog has luzzed out the back door, I am sure there'll be summat we can utilise!

bobbyger

Cheers DD, you're a star.

barbara12

right Im here...brought more stash for the other den .......like Cath my uniform is a bit tight...it squeaks when I put it on...there we go...now the fishnets.....did you say Del wanted a bed bath... :eek:
Barbara x

frogmorton

Plenty of used milk cartons for Bobby here DD....

Barbara - is the uniform supposed to be made of that material?

isn't it a bit hot???

Hi there houlihan Good to see you

Coming round with the trolley in a bit and I have a helper - Bobbyger's Mum :shock:

Toni xx

barbara12

frogmorton wrote:

Plenty of used milk cartons for Bobby here DD....

Barbara - is the uniform supposed to be made of that material?

isn't it a bit hot???

Hi there houlihan Good to see you

Coming round with the trolley in a bit and I have a helper - Bobbyger's Mum :shock:

Toni xx

shssss...I got it from one of those shops I wouldn't normally go in.. :shock: :oops: ...they didnt tell me it was made of rubbber..
Barbara x

dreamdaisy

Barbara! BARBARA! Good grief Penfold. :shock: I really don't know what to say or where to look. Blimey.

Right Rob, you're sorted: yer mum can empty the bottle as and when, as long as she doesn't confuse the contents with other liquids elsewhere. As you are her ikkle-wikkle babber boy I am sure she won't mind.

I think everyone else is tucked up, nice and warm and enjoying an afternoon nap, so that means it's time to wake 'em all up and do the afternoon meds round. That's the whole point, isn't it? Rest? Sleep? Recuperate? I think not. DD