Fed Up! Fed Up! FED UP!

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  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,429
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Tilly :sad:

    I been bawling my eyes out...so l couldn't read this thread properly, but have managed to read it from beginning to end and it is pretty amazing.

    Amazing because you cheerily pop in and out of our lives happily passing on support and love and advice, but really you have been feeling so sad yourself....l am so so very sorry :sad:

    Amazing too because you Tillytop have received the most WONDERFUL support yourself from this lot on here. This is what makes me proud to be a forum member :smile:

    I know how private you are, l can empathise with you on that, but am so glad you opened up on here and let us all know that you were/are feeling shift.

    I re-read Collywob's quotation...(well done Lynn).....and how appropriate those words are now and how wise.

    Just like you - and lovely too.

    HUGEST hugs

    and love

    Toni xx

    PS those bl**dy carrots have got a lot to answer for :x
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly,

    Flower said there ain't no hay to clear up :lol:

    Glad your feeling a lot better today and course its ok to off load here... we all do it..me more than most :oops:

    Leaving tea and cdm up the tree and a ((((( ))))) under the bench. xxx
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,935
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly.
    i hope things improve for you soon its no wonder you feel as you do all you've been though lately.
    you take care and have time to relax.
    ((((((((tilly)))))))) joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Tilly, thanks for clearing up after me, very much appreciated!! :grin:

    Glad to hear you are a bit brighter today, it does help to get things off your chest, especially when people understand what it is like. You provide great words of comfort to many, and encourage all of us.

    Let us know how you are doing, we care!!
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thankyou to Sticky, Poppy, Bubbadog, Toni, Cris, Joan and Suzy for your posts and kind words.

    I think my level of desperation had been creeping up on me gradually.But I am so pleased I plucked up the courage to share how I was feeling - thanks DD for encouraging me to do so.

    I really am feeling brighter now, much helped along by all your lovely posts. I have had a good day today (went out with my Mum and Dad this morning which I enjoyed) and feel I am regaining some perspective on things. I think the next big hurdle will be when the steroids wear off - and I reckon I've probably got another couple of weeks before that happens.

    I can't thank everyone enough for the wonderful support - knowing that you really do understand makes the world of difference.

    Lots love Tilly xxx
  • keith1971
    keith1971 Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    So glad your good mood is returning Tilly & that you didn't succumb to breakfast Chardonnay!

    :wink:

    x x
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  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hey there, Tillytop,

    I'm glad you're feeling more upbeat today. (It's probably the wine/choc combo that did for you yesterday. I'm still feeling queasy at the thought of it.) We all know that, realistically, the 'upbeat' must be followed by a downbeat. Remember, when that happens, we're still here for you and not easily fooled. I know what you mean about 'the desperation creeping up'. We tell ourselves for so long that we're OK and go ploughing on regardless we become quite detached from our true mental & physical state.

    You make the most of the last of the steroids but stick around and talk to us.

    Take care.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I dun breakfast between 6.30 and 8.30pm. Still haven't dun the steroids. Oooops. (spot who dusn't care.) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly,

    Have topped up the tree hole but I did see miss l Legs in her wide girl costume selling the Deer something that looked a bit like rope and crampons...... :shock: so it may not be there..... :lol:

    leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a hope for the morning. Love Cris xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning tillytillytilly, I hope all is well.

    An alternative breakfast: tip half a tube of Smarties into a small bag of plain crisps, shake then eat (shake the bag, that is). Apparently it is the dog's bits. Doesn't appeal to me, I have to say, but then I struggle on the breakfast front anyway (so far, four grapes and two cola cubes. And a cuppa). I am thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,429
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks for the update Tilly :smile:

    On wards and upwards eh? :wink:

    Love and hugs

    toni xx

    PS some of the brekkies DD is adviocating sound a wee bit gross to me :lol:
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    frogmorton wrote:
    PS some of the brekkies DD is adviocating sound a wee bit gross to me

    I'm with you, Toni. Getting quite concerned about the breakfast habits of some people on here.

    Tillytop, hello. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. I'm feeling knackered but it's entirely self-inflicted and unregretted. As Frogmorton says, onwards & upwards, eh?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I have to say for some reason, smarties shaken in a packet of crisps sound a lot nicer than the banana I had for breakfast!! :lol:

    Morning Tilly, just checking in with a cheery smile and warm hug for you.

    Time for elevenses, cuppa and a biccie, maybe??
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly, Glad you had a better day, wanted to say we are here if you ever need to talk, and as you say the next big hurdle is when the steriods ease off. So when that starts to happen remember if you need a freind or a shoulder we are all here or even just private message me, I am always around alday! Take care. Amanda, (bubbadog).
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning (or, actually nearly afternoon I see) you lovely peeps!

    Thanks Keith, Sticky, DD, Cris, Toni, Suzy and Amanda for your words of wisdom, encouragement and weird breakfast ideas! :shock: I have to say DD that the Smarties and crisps idea sounds, well - interesting might be the kindest description! Perhaps I'll get some of that prepared in advance in case I get the urge to hit the Chardonnay at breakfast time again (NOT going to happen I promise). Cris - I did get to the tree-hole before the deer thanks but think we might have to come up with a deer and Miss L Legs proof hiding place pretty soon don't you? :lol:

    I am still feeling better today than I have been, although not, perhaps, quite as upbeat as yesterday. But, I have been out to look at what's (not) growing in the garden this morning and I am going to see my friend Nickie this afternoon, and her lovely toddler Charlie who is a very good antidote to the blues. :grin: And she has just acquired baby chickens and guinea-pigs so I will enjoy meeting the menagerie too.

    Thanks again for all you support and understanding.

    Lots love Tilly xxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello tillytillytilly, I hope all is well but to be honest I have a sneaking suspicion that it isn't. I think you are like a little boat, adrift on storm-tossed seas, bobbing around with periods of calm then woooooosh! swamped by waves and off we go again. I know what the hig-dose steroids can do, that is what is giving me this feeling. I sincerely hope I am wrong but. . . .

    Hang on in there, girl, you know where we are, this is a big deal and you have been through the mill with all of this. I am thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning Tillytop. I'm just stopping by to say I'm thinking of you (and trying desperately not to think of your strange breakfasts).

    I hope the garden, friend, toddler and menagerie worked a little bit of magic for you yesterday and that maybe something else'll work a little bit of magic for you today and you can just hang on to the bits 'til your 'little boat adrift on the storm tossed seas' (Whatever DD's on, I'd like a bit - it could help with my poetry) gets into calmer waters.

    Maybe I should stop there before I start writing in sonnets. Tillytop, it will get better and we'll all be here for you until it does. Meanwhile, be gentle with yourself and don't ask too much of yourself. Most things will wait.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • theresa4
    theresa4 Member Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    HI Tilly sorry Ive only just seen this thread, I hope you are feeling better today x I can fully understand the wine and choc (maybe not am though :lol: )red wine and dark choccie is best :grin: its become a bit of a habit for me on an evening along with my amitryptelene, dihydrocodeine etc.. the wine seems to give them the edge to help me sleep otherwise it doesnt take enough pain off for me to even nod off.

    Pm wine is a little more socially allowable but then since we are up all times of day and night maybe my PM is your am hey :wink:

    YOu take care Tilly
    oxoxoxox
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks DD, Sticky and Theresa for your posts.

    DD is so right about that boat on the stormy seas and today is not such a good day again. I really think that the steroid infusion is probably largely to blame for my state of mind. I did a bit of research and found out that the steroid infusions I had were equivalent to, wait for it, 125mg pred. So that's 250mg pred equivalent in two weeks, on top of the oral pred I was already taking :shock:. So probably no wonder my head is all over the place. And no wonder my joints are so good at the moment :grin: . Does give me hope though that I will feel better psychologically once it wears off though.

    I think that boat is actually a pirate ship - given that I am sitting here wearing an eye patch (yes really) to cover one of me stoopid misbehaving eyes. Splice the mainbrace me hearties, Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of chardonnay (or something like that).

    Thanks again peeps for your continued support.

    Tilly xxx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Tillytop, consider the mainbrace well and truly spliced. Now, in view of all you've been through and are going through I think you need a little entertainment. As captain of this ship you get to decide who is keel-hauled and/or made to walk the plank - docs? the old enemy Art H. Ritis? M. E. Dications? Your choice.

    After that we can set sail for anywhere you fancy. I've moved some bottles of rum to make way for a few of Chardonnay. Anchors away?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • rugbygirl
    rugbygirl Member Posts: 691
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly

    I have only just seen this and I hope that things start settling down for you soon.

    I havent had arthur that long and I havent had to deal with to many different meds but I do know that it affects everything from state of mind to day to day living. I dont know how some people cope - I try every day but then when I feel like having a moan I feel that I am being selfish. I look at people who were born disabled, or who have been injured in Afghan and I think what have I got to complain about.

    Its not easy being like this and we all understand each other here. Others dont understand no matter how much you try to tell them about it and explain it.

    I can only offer you hugs and sympathy. dont bottle things up but let them out.

    Take care of yourself
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  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,429
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly

    I love the analogy and can picture you there crashing about...maybe you shouldnt splice the mainbrace just yet :shock: what if it makes you go FASTER????

    All that bloomin steroid eh? that is one heck of a dosage and likley to be very relevant to how you are feeling :???:

    Depression is cylclic anyway and yours is highly understandable so l am CERTAIN there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I will light you a candle so you can se the way :smile:

    Love and hugs

    ooo arrrrr me hearties!!!!!!! toni xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    That is one mahoosive dose of the lovelies, isn't it? Strewth. :shock: No wonder you are as variable as you are. Hang on to the mast tilly, hang on for dear life. And ignore the frascati-filled lifebelt. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks Sticky, Rugbygirl, Toni and DD. Hope you're not all getting seasick :mrgreen:

    Ooh Sticky I'm busy compiling my list of those to be keel-hauled :lol: And as for where I want to go - somewhere warm and sunny so I need you all to help me please, to haul on ropes or whatever it is you do when you need to turn a ship around. Altogether now "heave, heave, heave"...

    Calmer waters here we come.

    Thanks again,

    Love Tilly xxx
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tilly, can I join the crew!!!

    I love the analogy of a ship in a stormy sea. It is very apt.

    Lets set sail for somewhere exotic and hot. Sit under an umbrella, drinking cocktails. Sounds wonderful.

    The highest I have ever been is 30mg and that was horrible. Actually correction, I was horrible to live with!! :shock: :lol:

    It does pass, you have to ride it out. In the meantime we are here with you.

    Love and (((hugs)))
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