The STD Dictionary.

dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
edited 27. Feb 2013, 07:31 in Community Chit-chat archive
Sticky, Tilly and me have been having some fun, all based on the Uxbridge dictionary which heralds from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. For those of you are not familiar with that august publication it goes as follows: new definitions are made up for commonplace words, e.g. platypus - to give your cat pigtails, problematic - a tricky loft conversion, rambling - jewellery for sheep, dukedom - aristocratic birth control, mish mash - what Sean Connery does if he oversleeps on a Sunday. Here are some of my offerings:

matress - a female mat.

decorum - a rum-themed room.

therapy - the pleasure gained after a delayed release of urine.

squabbling - a baby squabble.

maternal - an everlasting rug.

rumbaba - an alcholic sheep.

tulip bulbs - used in tulip lights.

dishy - very much like a dish.


Feel free to join in! All offerings welcome - we've been having fun and thought it would be nice to share. DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
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Comments

  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Gable - A bull that prefers the company of other bulls

    Legal - Trainee bird of prey

    Backgammon - Pork from the top of a pig

    Assets - Small donkeys

    Turd - A group of cows in Yorkshire
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Catastrophe - award winning cat . Jillyb
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You've got the idea! It's fun, innit? I like gable, that's corking! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    DD I will be perfectly honest, afraid I cheated on this one looked on the internet afraid the brain fog is very much down today, not had much sleep last night a bit zombiefied today :oops: will try better later xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Obsession - when nurses do temps, BP, pulse etc

    Wedlock - chastity belt

    Sincere – you’re in the right place for misbehaving

    Gastric - lighting one's own f*rts

    Gastric band - a highly original musical ensemble

    Pineapple - savoury pastry with fruit accompaniment

    Medication – a holiday from meds

    prosthesis – dissertation written by a lady of the night
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am rubbish at this...but I am loving reading them...
    Wedlock ...chastity belt...sticky I love it :lol:
    Love
    Barbara
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Wallaby - Australian talent show contestant

    Banana - sheep's granny

    Entourage - pensioners' day out

    Tom-Tom - twin cats

    Barrack - shelf for sheep

    recliner - result of a large ship running aground


    Some of these are Mr Tilly's - he was nearly late for work the other day thinking them up!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I never thought about the cheating aspect - norty, norty villier. :wink:

    flatulent - an apartment one lets free of charge to friends.

    distress - this is like, wot I am wearing, innit?

    DD

    PS Tilly? Reclliner? Wallaby? Tom-tom? Whatever you are on I want some! As for you young Sticky I think medication wins but obsession is a very close second.

    intensity - camping in a town centre.
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Petulent - a dog / cat / hamster / guinea pig etc loaned to friends. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks DD!

    Enjoyed your latest ones. :D

    Think my favourite so far has to be Jilly's "catastrophe" :lol:

    Lampshades - sunglasses for sheep

    Teetotaller - golf club accountant

    Cornflakes - what chiropodists eat for breakfast
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Shudder - A quiet cow teat
    Shaft - The queit end of the ship
    Meteor - A hefty prostitute :shock:
    Lemonade - A concert highliting the plight of lemons
    Shellfish - A bit like a shelf.


    :wink:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Promise DD these are my own as you can see as they are rubbish :lol:


    Scarecrow - A frightened bird

    Capsize - A fitted bunnet

    Carton - A very big vehicle

    Hoe - An American mistress

    Sublime - A green naval boat
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Love these but Tilly, I've gone off cornflakes now. :lol:

    Glad to see you back Tony.

    I've got my thinking cap on now.
    Christine
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    bicyclist - a rider who goes both ways. :oops: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Puppy - what small dogs do lots of.
    American - container of lager.
    backing - sheep leader.
    Christine
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm enjoying this - and yes, helloooo tjt! It's niced to see you, mate.

    Bushwhacker - a lady who does Brazilians etc.

    Inhale - caught in a wintry downpour.

    Impress - a newspaper for pixies. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol: I love 'em all. I've been studying my 'ologies'.

    cardiology - the study of knitwear

    dermatology - the study of Irishmen

    neology - the study of TKRs

    audiology - the study of German cars

    apology - the study of mobile phone software

    physiology - the study of effervescence
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Antilope - mum/dad sister taking constitutional

    Shortbread - food for little people

    Catalyst - feline inventory
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ooh yes, I like these.

    Pathology - the science of pavements
    Ascertain - a very sure equine
    Aeroplane - a dark chocolate bar
    Aeronaut - no chocolate bar
    Confound - found by a criminal
    Arsenal - including the buttocks
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Catalyst - :lol: Sticky, now you have me thinking about 'ologies'

    geology - the study of horses

    tautology - the study of elastic.

    smatter - wassup? DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I love you all :D This is better than meds.


    biology - the study of the number 2

    bin liner - lowest ever cruise prices

    hirsuite - menswear

    mother - lepidopterist

    canticle - able to make others laugh

    describe - to unwrite something

    underlying - the missionary position

    mutate - the dumb man had lunch

    guidance - Bonfire Night hoe-down

    windowsill - the skylight is unwell

    antagonise - female relative who is always moaning
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Afro - African money (like euro)
    rheumatology - study of made-up stories
    climatology - study of hill walking
    apidology - study of gorillas
    aerology - study of chocolate bars
    Christine
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Gosh eyes leaking, Sticky you are correct better than any meds, loving all the posts.

    Dramatic - closet drinker

    Safeway - abstaining
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks DD :wink:

    Copulate - A tardy Policeman :shock:
    Demolish - The art of removing the Molish
    Scowl - A Scottish owl


    My head's not fully with it but there's a few more..

    Hope everyone is ok..
    :D
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Collimate - a friendly dog

    Agent - a polite man

    Thorax - the god of thunder's chopper

    Consent - perfume for criminals

    Conceit - a chair for criminals

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