how quickly life can change.

Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
edited 10. Mar 2014, 14:32 in Living with Arthritis archive
Well, a quick hello to everyone and wow do I miss my not-so-old routine.

Life changed within an hour last week when my OH was in a head-on car crash (not his fault). He's ok and extremely lucky, and suddenly, I am a nurse. Great, a handicapped nurse but I guess that's better than none. Mr. has a severely cut and stitched hand, injured chest, back, and a concussion. Wow, is he ever lucky to be alive (and I, because he is my carer normally) and will recover, if he doesn't die of pig-headedness first. That's another story. I'm not sure how I drove myself to the hospital when I received the phonecall; I had my head in the toilet bowl at the time because of a migraine headache (sorry for the detail there :oops: ).

I ache, ache, ache.......I've scrubbed, doted-on, cooked, washed, shoveled, rolled, cried, changed bandages, sweated and not even done very much it seems. Now I must go and carry on. Bye for now, hug your loved ones.

((())) to you.


  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Anna, how dreadful for both of you, I am so sorry. I suppose the good news is that he is OK but the strain on you must be almost intolerable. I find it difficult to care for my husband when things go wrong for him but somehow we do it, yes? They care for us so it's only right and proper that we care in turn. I urge you not to overdo things, help him yes but also help yourself by not rushing about; you are doing much more than you realise and yes, their pig-headedness doesn't help. :roll: Usually-healthy men can be chronically bad patients. Take care, we'll be here whenever you can get in and please send him my good wishes for a full recovery. DD
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,619
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Anna, how dreadful! I'm so relieved that he is going to be OK but what a shock for you and how difficult life will be for both of you for some time!

    It is amazing how, when such things happen, the adrenaline kicks in and we get our heads out of the - real or metaphorical - toilet bowls and just get done what has to be done.

    I hope the patient makes a full and speedy recovery for both your sakes. Meanwhile we are here to offer any support we can. ((()))
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,415
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm really sorry to hear of your troubles Anna. I can imagine things are very difficult, and very stressful! At least he's going to be alright, that must be such a relief.
    You will get through this, because you have to :wink: but I'm sure it won't be easy!
    Just remember to take care of you too, ((((()))))
    Fondest wishes,
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,151
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Anna hope you're both feeling a bit better now ,sending hugs to both.(((()))) Mig
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Everyone else has already said what I'm feeling . All I will add is love and positive vibes from hubby and I x
  • ritwren
    ritwren Member Posts: 928
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    How absolutely awful for you both. You are so right that life can change in a second. Last year was a very difficult one for me for many reasons but I can surely relate to being here one second and gone the next.

    I do hope you're able to pace yourself while having the added pressure of caring for OH. Look after yourself and let him do as much as he can.... he might need a bit of encouragement there. :lol:

    Take good care of yourself, lots of positive vibes going your way.
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Wow Anna! I'm so glad he managed to hobble away from the crash! What happens is when your loved one is sick or had an accident you just go into auto pilot and some how you just get through it! And when it's over you just crash and then you feel the pain from having to get through caring for them! I know this from experience as my OH has kidney trouble, he had to have a kidney bypass operation and I had to care for him while he recovered from the operation. His kidneys still haven't got full function and he still gets poorly from time to time. You & your OH take care and I hope he has a speedy recovery.
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a blessing that he survived, and I can relate to the shock-my OH had a heartattack the week after my 40th birthday almost 16 years ago now. I remember the auto pilot, and just how ill I felt after the initial panic and shock had passed.

    Sending you both lots of hugs and positive thoughts (((((((((((( )))))))))))))). Hope he recovers quickly, and that you have some one near by to help you deal with all the "doings". Take good care of yourself.

    Deb x
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry to hear your news Anna. Our bodies have a great way of coping in these types of situations, you will though still have to not overdo things I am sure the adrenalin will keep you going somehow. Try and keep us posted to how things are going, some ((((())))) for you both................take care ..............Marie xx
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Anna, poor you and poor OH. So sorry to hear your news. Is there anyone who can help you? <<<Sending virtual strength vibes>>> x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You've both been in my thoughts all day. ((( ))) to Mr Boomer and xxx to you, Anna. DD
  • mike26
    mike26 Member Posts: 416
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    very sorry to hear about your husband,
    and pleased that it wasnt any worse.
    now time for plenty of rest and lots of looking after
    each other.
    hope your husband has a speedy recovery..
  • phoenixoxo
    phoenixoxo Member Posts: 625
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Anna,

    Yes, that's so true, how quickly life can change. I'm so sorry, what a shock, for both of you. I think the others are right, that adrenalin tends to start up during times like these. I'm doing a jillyb and sending love and positive vibes too.

    Best wishes,
  • kentishlady
    kentishlady Member Posts: 807
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Anna. I do hope that your husband is feeling just a little better today and you are managing your nursing duties ok. Am thinking about you and sending lots of ((((())))) - very gentle ones!

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello to the hurty Boomers - I hope things are not too bad for either of you today. DD
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello both, just dropped by to send some more hugs ((((((( ))))))))). Hope today is a step in the right direction for you both.

    Deb x
  • Mat48
    Mat48 Member Posts: 1,161
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Anna so sorry not to have seen this before but I've been away in Mat world - what a horrible shock it must have been for you - I read with bated breath and was hugely relieved to find that Mr Boomer is going to be okay. I know I rely so heavily on my OH and dread to think of a day where the roles might be reversed.

    How are you managing? I know how poorly you've been of late and it must be really exhausting and stressful - but I hope you are also finding some sort of rhythm to your new life as a carer and hope too that your husband makes a speedy recovery. I just went and hugged mine as you suggested (he's in bed off a nightshift just now so it wasn't that gratefully received but the impulse just came over me after reading this thread of yours :roll: :lol: ). Mat x
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,245
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Anna
    i'm sorry about your OH and I hope he has a speedy recovery.
    take care both. ((((((((Anna and OH ))))))))
    joan xx
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well, your replies were an uplifting sight for sore eyes! Thank you all so very much.

    We've been buried under 30-40 cm of snow in the last 30 hours which is of course, making life even more interesting. I'm amazed at how quickly a healthy human body starts to recover compared to our immuno-deranged ones :shock: .

    He's doing ok; has managed to tear two stitches, crumple into a 6'5.5" heap on the floor after experiencing dizziness/fainting from the concussion, his back is very painful and he is turning a spectacular rainbow of colors from the bruising. After ignoring my protests that he might be trying to be upright too much, too soon, I decided the only thing to do was let him find out for himself which he did by promptly hitting the floor. No extra harm done and now he has decided to be sensible and I am sniggering only so very slightly :) He has never experienced any mental impairment and has now realised how bad the effects of concussion can be.

    I viewed some pictures of the crash and I am startled that he is still with us, it was very, very bad. The other driver going too fast around a curve, hit a patch of black ice and struck OH head-on. I don't know how his large frame compressed so much in what was left of his car without worse injury :!: So lucky...

    We are thinking/talking about the unlucky, but lucky seemingly contradictory position we are in. Much food for thought in our household at the moment.

    My spine has now made it impossible for me to do some things but we are managing the basics and lounging around today on dual heating pads. He normally does so much for me that I am very thankful for the adrenaline effect (didn't know that could happen..). Plus, the large dose of prednisone I am currently on for my ear both of which have allowed me to do what needed to be done in the past few days. Great timing there for the pred :D! I think I finally have a large enough dose. Various joints, and my spine all but stopped working yesterday so will be taking it easy for today. Hoping to have some help soon when our road is driveable and, somehow I have to get him him to doctor check-up soon. One thing at a time....

    Thank you for all your care and concern. You are all so lovely; I feel so very lucky...
  • Toots
    Toots Member Posts: 483
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Anna! Huge huge hugs! So very happy to hear hubby will be fine though, not so happy that you're having to work so hard. Did I hug you hard enough? HUG! x
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,415
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It sounds as though you're doing brilliantly, under very difficult and stressful circumstances.
    Someone, (I can't remember who) once said, " If the road is easy, you're most likely going the wrong way".
    Take care of both of you ((((()))))
  • Fionabee
    Fionabee Member Posts: 146
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I hope things start easing for both of you. My son had an accident on the motorway with a Czec articulated lorry, Josh was in a small car in the lorry drivers blind spot. He walked away without a scratch, but the at scene photos and remains of car were almost heart stopping.
    Healing thought winging their way to you.
    Love fiona
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Morning Anna
    I'm trying to catch up with posts......what a shock that must have been to you.
    I know its easier said than done but try not to do too much. Just the very basics. The house will be here many years to come :lol:
    Don't forget your own GP if you need any help at have to be in a reasonable condition to look after hubby so I'm sure the GP will help you out. So any problems {extra pain etc} get in touch and explain to him
  • Susiesoo
    Susiesoo Member Posts: 358
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am so sorry to read this, Anna. That is just the sort of phone call we all dread. Best wishes to your husband for a speedy recovery and I do hope you can look after yourself as well as him and manage to pace as much as possible.

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    They do heal quickly don't they? It never ceases to amaze me just how grumpy they get even though they are going to get better - the twerps don't realise what luxury they possess. :roll: You are right to leave him alone to make his own mistakes - although you know a great deal about assessing your abilities and pacing yourself he has not had to think in such a way so that is the only way he will find out. Mr DD had an emergency appendectomy at the end of January 2013 and went back to work after three weeks, despite the docs and me telling him it was too early. He sheepishly admitted some while later that we were right. Well D'UH. :lol:

    Take care you two, no going out for snowball fights you hear? ((( ))) DD

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