Wedding Ring Removal

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lindalegs
lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
edited 29. Jul 2014, 07:13 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hello everyone,

(I hope you're all as well as you can be. :) )

The day finally arrived when I had to have my wedding ring cut off. I’m having minor hand surgery Monday 7th July and the surgeon said it had to go! It broke my heart as I’ve worn it for just over 35 years and although I know it’s only a piece of metal, it’s what it symbolises that I found so hard to deal with.

We decided that as Mr Legs put it on my finger he was the one to take it off and he’s so very competent that I trust him above anyone else. (My fingers are very deformed so we knew a jeweller wouldn’t do it and only a hospital would tackle the job.)

We looked at You Tube and other web sites, tried ice cold water first and then elastic (as recommended on a hospital web site). This failed so then we had to get a protective piece of plastic under the ring before starting on the serious stuff. I won’t go into details as to the tools used as this is more of a cautionary tale and I would not recommend anyone to try it themselves and suggest you go to see a professional.

It took over an hour and was very, very painful. There’s also a big danger that when the ring is finally cut you have two sharp pieces of metal digging into a painful swollen finger, :shock: :shock: the metal then has to be prised apart with pliers. We did do it though and when it was finally off it was an emotional moment but more of relief this time. :(

My finger feels, now, better than its felt for years and its only through hindsight that I realise I should have had it cut off years ago. So think on if your rings are getting tight or the joint above is enlarged that perhaps it could be time to remove them.

Luv to all,
Love, Legs x
'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
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Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :shock: Oh Legs, I'm cringing for you. That sounds to have been a very nasty experience both physically and emotionally and it's kind of you to warn others. This is the sort of thing that we can so easily let slide – until it doesn't, as it were :roll:

    For me, it was the joint that got enormous though the bit where the ring sat was OK. I decided years ago that, much as I loved it, the ring had to go partly because the joint was so painful it hurt more every time the ring touched it. And so it sat in a drawer for years until I mentioned it to a friend who suggested wearing it round my neck, and even bought me the – long - ribbon to wear it on so that I can take it off at night and put it back on in the morning with the aid of a long stick. I love having it back. When away from home it stays on at night just to be on the safe side.

    Congratulations to Mr Legs' DIY skills. I suspect if it had been me and Mr SW accidental amputation might have come into it :lol:

    Will you get a new one? And a ribbon / chain of course :D
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Linda, it's been a while since I saw your name pop up on here, glad to see you.

    I, too, was wondering when you're going to get a replacement ring or special piece of jewellery - with a nice big rock maybe too?! :wink:

    I'm not surprised it was an emotional experience. These things are so much more than 'things', it's what they represent and I think it was sweet that you and Mr Legs made it your mission together. That said, I'm sorry it ended up being so painful. You are one brave lady.

    Wishing you all the best of luck for your surgery on Monday and fingers crossed for a speedy and as painfree as possible recovery.

    Sophie x
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :oops: :oops: :oops:

    P.S. Hope the surgery goes well. Thanks Starburst :oops:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Congratulations to Mr Legs' DIY skills. I suspect if it had been me and Mr SW accidental amputation might have come into it :lol:

    Will you get a new one? And a ribbon / chain of course :D

    :lol::lol: Sticky, you always make me laugh!

    Hello Sophie (Yes I drop in when I have something to say :oops: )

    And in answer to you both ......

    ........I think it would have hurt no matter who did the job as not only was the ring very tight on my swollen finger the joint above also has a bony growth on it :shock: The main problem Mr Legs had was holding my finger still (I have no muscle strength to hold it still myself) and doing the business at the same time.

    I don't want a new ring or a ribbon/chain, for me the original one holds the most sentiment. I'm unable to change my own necklace so I wear a small ruby and diamond pendant on a gold chain all the time .....Mr Legs bought it me when I was 40. My wedding ring now lies in my jewellery box and tells its own story.

    I'm now an unmarried mother of two living with my lover :wink::D ....actually in saying that I have a deep dent in my finger where the ring was so I just pretend I wear an invisible ring :D

    Thanks for the surgery good wishes, it is only minor to remove some nodules, sadly I do have three more major operations to face in the coming months, but no doubt I'll ask for the forums advice when I've seen the surgeon.


    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • purplepatch
    purplepatch Member Posts: 28
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Linda that's a very emotional situation! With mine it got tighter & tighter until I had to stop wearing it altogether, feeling weird not having one I persuaded OH to buy as succession of "temporary" budget ones as my knuckles got bigger! - I went through 3 bigger sizes!
    Luckily when I went on to methotrexate & humira the swelling & inflammation reduced significantly & I'm now able to wear my original ring again!! result!
    Maybe you could persuade your OH to get you one that fits you now? Make a special day of it just for you two!

    Purple x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Legs its good to see your name on here ..but so sorry to hear this ,I can only imagine what a rotten experience that was...good on Mr Legs for getting it off safely...mine are in a box and have been for 3 years ... :( Aww I hope the op goes well for you , do you think you will be able to have it put back together and maybe wear it around your neck...will be thinking about you please let us know how it goes..((())) xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    What a pity you left it for so long - now your original ring is broken and that is a shame. :( I remember my aunt having her ring cut off so, when my ring finger started playing up, I removed it and wore it on my good days. It's now stored in its box.

    Wedding bands hold a wealth of meaning and memories but what matters is this: at some point tonight you and Mr Legs will hold hands or have some other form of physical contact (stop sniggering at the back and grow up). Marriage is one of my favourite words; it's a word of depth, joy and meaning. My first marriage didn't qualify but my second . . . . he still turns over my heart. My parents bought each other new rings every ten years or so of their fifty-seven year marriage, maybe this is a chance to renew your vows with a new ring? DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • ruby2
    ruby2 Member Posts: 423
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good Luck with the surgery Linda! I feel your pain and note your advice.
    I'm sure you will come up with a lovely way to return a ring to the 3rd finger left hand when you are healed.
    Nearly the 2nd birthday of our darling grandchildren, hope he is doing well.
    Much Love.
    Ruby
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Maybe you could persuade your OH to get you one that fits you now? Make a special day of it just for you two!

    Purple x

    Hi Purple,

    I'm glad you're able to wear yours again. :)

    My finger joints swelled from day 1 before I knew what was happening. At the time my GP said my finger wasn't painful or blue so if I chose to wear the ring I didn't have to do anything drastic. I chose to wear it as I thought arthur was only temporary ....that was 28 years ago though :roll:

    My hands are so ugly that I wouldn't want a ring and if I did want a piece of jewellery I would chose something like a bangle which I could change myself .....it's still a ring after all, just a bit bigger :wink:

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    barbara12 wrote:
    Hello Legs its good to see your name on here ..but so sorry to hear this ,I can only imagine what a rotten experience that was...good on Mr Legs for getting it off safely...mine are in a box and have been for 3 years ... :( Aww I hope the op goes well for you , do you think you will be able to have it put back together and maybe wear it around your neck...will be thinking about you please let us know how it goes..((())) xx

    Hi Barbara,

    Mr Legs is indeed a 'boy' wonder! It was hard for him because he knew he was hurting me. My ring will remain in my jewellery box, like yours :) Although I can't call it a ring anymore it's more like the letter 'C' :wink:

    The hardest thing was when the date for the operation came through and I knew it had to be removed. I cried lots. Then 3 days on (last Sunday) we decided that was the day to do it and I was very brave during the cutting.

    As I said to Purple my fingers aren't pretty enough for rings so I shall leave well alone now.

    Hope your little GD is as cute as my GS. :wink:

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    dreamdaisy wrote:
    What a pity you left it for so long - now your original ring is broken and that is a shame. :( I remember my aunt having her ring cut off so, when my ring finger started playing up, I removed it and wore it on my good days. It's now stored in its box.

    Wedding bands hold a wealth of meaning and memories but what matters is this: at some point tonight you and Mr Legs will hold hands or have some other form of physical contact (stop sniggering at the back and grow up). Marriage is one of my favourite words; it's a word of depth, joy and meaning. My first marriage didn't qualify but my second . . . . he still turns over my heart. My parents bought each other new rings every ten years or so of their fifty-seven year marriage, maybe this is a chance to renew your vows with a new ring? DD


    No new ring for me Dreamdaisy because it's not about a piece of jewellery it's the sentiment in the old one which counts. I can still look at it and handle it with a world of fondness, it hasn't been stolen nor have I lost it it's just taken on a new form ....a bit like me, bent and not the old shape! :shock:

    Mr Legs and I still love one another, nothing in the universe will ever shake that, after all we've battled arthur for the greatest majority of our married life and it hasn't beaten us so only death can. :shock:

    It is a pity I left it so long but as I said to Purple my finger joints swelled from day 1 and we can all be wise with hindsight.

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    ruby2 wrote:
    Good Luck with the surgery Linda! I feel your pain and note your advice.
    I'm sure you will come up with a lovely way to return a ring to the 3rd finger left hand when you are healed.
    Nearly the 2nd birthday of our darling grandchildren, hope he is doing well.
    Much Love.

    Thank you Ruby :D

    How is your GS? Did we go through all of that only 2 years ago? :shock: We're all going, as a family to the seaside tomorrow, to take little Jack and we have to do it before he's 2 (according to his mummy and daddy). Fingers crossed for a few spells of sunshine :D

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • Lubs
    Lubs Member Posts: 155
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you Legs for writing this post!

    I've just removed my wedding ring last night! It was stuck on my fingre again. My weight has not been steady with all this medication and when I finically lost 3 stones in weight I was able to pull the ring off (with a lot of washing up liquid). But I don't know what came over me recently because I put the ring back on!

    I've not been able to get it off, as I've gained weight due to going up in my pregabalin medication. So after reading your post late last night, I called my husband and showed him my hand :shock: He wasn't happy! Because we nearly had to have it cut off at the jewellers - one guy refused due to the thickness of the band and the other didn't fill us with confidence! So we managed to remove it last night again and put it out of sight!

    My husband said we don't need it to know that we are married! :oops:
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Legs, it's a tough one isn't it?
    I was thinking maybe you could wear the two halves ( edges smoothed first) as charms on a bracelet.
    Good luck with the surgery, (((())))
    Numpty
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Legs, :oops: I apologise; I misunderstood your post and yes, you are quite right, it is no more than a symbol - dealing with the day-to-day nonsense of life proves a good marriage, yes? DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • ruby2
    ruby2 Member Posts: 423
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Ah Have a lovely seaside break with all the family!
    Tommy is adorable his own little person now....lovely times. x


    p.s. will forward you some recent pics. :)
    Ruby
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    lindalegs wrote:
    barbara12 wrote:
    Hello Legs its good to see your name on here ..but so sorry to hear this ,I can only imagine what a rotten experience that was...good on Mr Legs for getting it off safely...mine are in a box and have been for 3 years ... :( Aww I hope the op goes well for you , do you think you will be able to have it put back together and maybe wear it around your neck...will be thinking about you please let us know how it goes..((())) xx

    Hi Barbara,

    Mr Legs is indeed a 'boy' wonder! It was hard for him because he knew he was hurting me. My ring will remain in my jewellery box, like yours :) Although I can't call it a ring anymore it's more like the letter 'C' :wink:

    The hardest thing was when the date for the operation came through and I knew it had to be removed. I cried lots. Then 3 days on (last Sunday) we decided that was the day to do it and I was very brave during the cutting.

    As I said to Purple my fingers aren't pretty enough for rings so I shall leave well alone now.

    Hope your little GD is as cute as my GS. :wink:

    Love,
    Linda she is so cute :D but I am bias..they are not far off two now yours Rubys and ours...aren't we lucky...good lucky I will be thinking about you...
    Lots of love
    Barbara xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Lubs wrote:
    Thank you Legs for writing this post!

    I've just removed my wedding ring last night! It was stuck on my fingre again. My weight has not been steady with all this medication and when I finically lost 3 stones in weight I was able to pull the ring off (with a lot of washing up liquid). But I don't know what came over me recently because I put the ring back on!

    I've not been able to get it off, as I've gained weight due to going up in my pregabalin medication. So after reading your post late last night, I called my husband and showed him my hand :shock: He wasn't happy! Because we nearly had to have it cut off at the jewellers - one guy refused due to the thickness of the band and the other didn't fill us with confidence! So we managed to remove it last night again and put it out of sight!

    My husband said we don't need it to know that we are married! :oops:

    Hello Lubs,

    I'm so glad you found this post useful as I hope others may.

    Your hubby is right (occasionally men can be :wink: ) You are still married and know it too. I can really understand you wanting to wear your ring though but it really isn't worth it being stuck so badly it has to be cut off. I hold 'ring' in the palm of my hand, feel its weight, give it a little polish and know I still have it. The world doesn't need to see I'm married, Mr Legs and I know we are inseperable, we are bound together by more than a piece metal. :D

    Anyway I have my bag to pack for surgery and a few more posts to answer. PS: Wow with the weight loss, that is impressive, well done! :D

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Legs, it's a tough one isn't it?
    I was thinking maybe you could wear the two halves ( edges smoothed first) as charms on a bracelet.
    Good luck with the surgery, (((())))
    Numpty

    Ah thanks for the good wishes Numpty. :D

    Good idea with the charms, though the 'ring' is like a bent letter 'C' rather than two halves. Now it's off though I'm just glad to have it and feel I don't need to wear it. :D

    Hope you're well.

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    dreamdaisy wrote:
    Oh Legs, :oops: I apologise; I misunderstood your post and yes, you are quite right, it is no more than a symbol - dealing with the day-to-day nonsense of life proves a good marriage, yes? DD

    Hi Dreamdaisy,

    No need for apologies I wasn't offended. :D

    I'm so glad you've found a lovely man to share your life with, it really is good to hear positive things when arthur is such a downer on all our lives.

    Take care.

    Anyway off to pack my hospital bag :D

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Ruby and Barbara,

    We are so lucky now our grandchildren approach 2 years. These talking walking little people who bring in the sunshine whenever they're around. Jack was a perfect age for the beach and LOVED it. A red letter family day which we shall always remember.

    Ruby I would love to see a new photo of little T so please send them. If you have one of N Barbara perhaps we can all exchange by our home email addresses :D

    Right much go as the surgeon awaits, scalpel twitching! :shock: :lol::lol:

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • purplepatch
    purplepatch Member Posts: 28
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good luck with your surgery today - hope all goes well

    Purple x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good luck Legs, and thank you for your post, I was worried that I'd upset you so now feel better. Please let us know how the surgery goes as and when you can. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    lindalegs wrote:
    Hello Ruby and Barbara,

    We are so lucky now our grandchildren approach 2 years. These talking walking little people who bring in the sunshine whenever they're around. Jack was a perfect age for the beach and LOVED it. A red letter family day which we shall always remember.

    Ruby I would love to see a new photo of little T so please send them. If you have one of N Barbara perhaps we can all exchange by our home email addresses :D

    Right much go as the surgeon awaits, scalpel twitching! :shock: :lol::lol:

    Love,
    Linda and Ruby I would love to exchange pics...Ruby its good to see you around... :D good luck Linda hope it all goes well...xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • Lubs
    Lubs Member Posts: 155
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Legs,

    Good luck with the surgery! I hope all goes well for you.

    I now have a scar on my ring finger - where the ring was too tight, so yes I guess I don't need a ring anymore, I have this dark patch of skin which looks like a ring :lol:

    Take care and let us know when you are out! Will be thinking about you. X