BB owner....

Oooh Ichabod, I am tempted. (It happens a lot.)

The non-lycra thing is, admittedly, a disappointment and I do already possess 'a' gently ageing grandad who would not look good in lycra' in the lycra-discouraging shape of Mr SW. Alas, he too is a Lancs CCC supporter (and Wigan RLFC to boot) and is big on meat and potato pies, steak and kidney pies, steak and stilton pies and pork pies. (He sees the cardiologist next week.)

However, I am warming to your 15 yr old Bladnoch. Perhaps we could conduct a – long - tasting experiment detailing the relative merits of that versus Ardbeg.

Unfortunately, I am no longer licensed to drive a motor vehicle. However, I am familiar with your referee, DD (Who isn't :roll: ) and I wonder if we might enlist her aid in the capacity of driver though it might be necessary to hide my Real Ale Car Step or things could get tricky – not to mention illegal.

Mr SW will vouchsafe for my credentials as a 'tarty lady' who not only smiles a lot but has also been known to laugh raucously at dirty jokes in the embarassing two seconds before the rest of the assembly has got them. Incidentally, Mr SW would like to point out that he has never - yet – been on the receiving end of my grabber stick.

I await your reply with anticipation, bated breath and a couple of cocos.

[quote="dreamdaisy"Ichabod6 is one decent-stand-up honest and good bloke who will not trifle with you[/quote]


Hm, that's a bit disappointing.

dreamdaisy wrote:

whilst she, the 'trophy' is carried in on the shoulders of four gorgeous specimens of the younger type of male. DD

FOUR? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Hell's bells, I'm getting out of my depth here.

I am a tad disturbed at the turn this thread is taking. I advertised for a toy boy and I appear to have acquired 4 lovely young hunks to bare me (sorry, bear me. My mind was elsewhere :oops: ) aloft while Mr SW and Ichabod slog it out in their 'baggy, high-waisted shiny shorts' for my affections or at least for my meat and tattie pies (That is not a euphemism) while DD, resplendent in her bow tie and tassels (Is that it, DD? Might you feel slightly chilly in...er....parts?) attempts to prevent the pair of them from running away.

I predict one or two slight hitches.

1. All 'shorts' and/or trousers are low-waisted on Mr SW these days due to the overhang.

2. Rather than fight for his marital rights, Mr SW is more likely to gratefully offer Ichabod some remuneration for taking me off his hands.

3. You are too, too kind, DD, in providing the lycra-lovelies but my stamina is not what it was. First come, first served, ladies, for the other three. Mig, it is unladylike to trample over your fellow forum buddies in the rush. As daffy has so wisely suggested, use your grabber.

4. I presume, if I'm to be held on high for the duration, my preferred garb of jeans and a blouse will not suffice though I suspect more eyes will be on the aforementioned tassels and bow tie than on myself. Could I have a dresser please? And don't even think of a dress. I don't have a pair of surgical shoes to match.

Finally, might I suggest, for practical purposes, that the venue be the same B&Q car park in which our lovely Barbara had her MRI scan? And, Barbara, thank you for suggesting I am merely 'a little mad'. The family consensus is barking.

I agree, DD. Ichabod's plan is an excellent one but in toto please ie you will not retreat in Daisy but join us with your tassels for the delectation of the gentlemen. Hopefully, you will bring Mr DD too and he can enjoy the cricket and the victuals. As for the lycra-clad hunks- will the rest of the forum please feel free to share them among yourselves. Cricket and a good malt suddenly seem far more attractive. I've enjoyed the fantasy but Yorks are up there at the top of the championship and Lancs should win Div 2. What more can I ask?

(Frog, if you can make me look like that you're an alchemist )