for trish as requested

valval
valval Member Posts: 14,911
edited 14. Jun 2010, 18:43 in Community Chit-chat archive
Breaking News
From your On the Spot reporter


Special Branch officers and a crack team of Pickled Egg Negotiators from Haywoods working on a tip off from an undercover agent (Thanks Val) raided a popular drinking establishment on The Chit Chat Forum early today.

The pre dawn raid was the largest of its kind ever mounted in te Chit Chat Forum. Two double decker buses and three black unmarked helicopters were used to transport police and Pickled Egg experts to the Cane and Able on Wednesday morning. 3 gnomes from the beer garden were arrested for an ac t of ‘gross indecency’ and in possession of of potting compost in contravention of some obscure law which I have yet to make up.

Several wimmen pretending to be teenage girls have been charged with being overage and offering ’special services’ in the snug in exchange for chocolate and nylons. It is unclear at this time whether the officers in attendance took them up on on their offer. ‘It was hell in there’ commented one shaken Pickled Egg negotiator wearing a balaclava and full Teflon body armour, as he watched Trish, Val, Joan, Toni and annie being bundled into the back of a bulging police van.

The search for the last of the & Eggs of Destiny and a mac continues…………
val
«1345

Comments

  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hooray, we're off again! I wasn't arrested, so can I be an undercover agent too?

    I found a random gnome home used for spying while uncovering a large snail (called Sidney) in the garden today. Judging by what I found, they were all sleepers. I have put them out to sleep somewhere else and have taken over their depot......yeehar!

    Haven't yet found a pickled egg store but still looking..........there must be one here.

    Annie
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    i do not mind the bulging police van but they could have taken trishers umbrella off her lol. will not sit for a wek again . how did annie get out so quick and why do all the police officers have to keep coming checking me for hidden eggs never touched it honest :(:(:(
    val
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    d050.gif

    It wasn't me honest, but there are some shifty gnomes next door :shock:

    Julie xxx
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,048
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well

    I have been released

    on Police bail at the moment (have to report in tomorrwo morning to teh desk sergant)

    All was going well - I thought they (the Rozzers) were going to let us all out with my offer of services in kind......

    oh YES!!!

    I very nearly has us ALL off the hook there......

    I was seductively sliding me nylons down when........

    me tena fell out :oops:

    Toni xx
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ....... well the roving reported missed that one... I was nicked as well, carried out flat as I had hit the pink champagne a bit much (I think I owe some money on that one :wink: )

    As to that particular pickled egg...... I thin the chickens had it but they have kindly donated a jar of disgusting ones all antiques so please feel free to choke the one best suited for the purpose...... I don't need the others back :wink: Cris x ....... why am I being followed by a gnome here?

    ummm no one needs to choke on a pickled egg.... I did mean choose.... sorry eye sight issues rule!
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    gosh out at last had to give my phone number to loads of them will never fit them all in will take weeks to massage them all and some got smelly feet. there are gnomes every where when i turn around there they are am i being followed ??? am i being paranoid no way it there how does it move like that????? has any one seen trisher since they seperated us????
    val
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Cris, Val - watch Sid Snail, he's worse than all the gnomes.......he made a good attempt up my leg just now. I uncovered one pickled egg, but it was soooooo disgusting I covered it up again quick. Maybe we could use those donated by the chickens as a decoy?
    Mind you, judging by the stabbing pain in my toe one gnome has just given me his fork.

    Thinking - if I found one egg, perhaps the next lot will be two? Then three, etc, etc up to the Egg of Destiny? Best take courage in both hands and uncover it again, there might be a clue in there somewhere...........

    Annie
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm checking for the snail that run up Annie's leg, honest

    g19008.gif

    I found an egg but I cannot tell you about it. It gave me such a shock I was just polishing it don't like dirty eggs and it got away.
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Annie

    g19112.gif

    I have found a gnome without a fork. Was this the one that went for your toe Annie?

    I have searched him and there is no fork on his person
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That's the one, Trish! See that smirk on his face? I'm keeping his fork - it might come in useful, you never know on these threads.......

    Snail now gone, I gave him the brush off, got to go and wash off the snail trail now, yuk. While I am doing it will psyche myself up for uncovering that disgusting egg..........

    Annie
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Annie

    I found the snail he was in disguise. How far up your leg did he go, he seems to have a smile on his face.

    I could think of something last night but I better not.


    g19066.gif
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    this getting scary gnomes with forks snail attacking annie egg still lost what is the place coming to
    g015.gif

    found an egg but it not the right one
    val
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 9. Jun 2010, 15:53
    Well, I've just woken up. b020.gif

    I got locked in the back of that van and forgotten about, so might escape arrest if I tiptoe out quietly.

    Anyway, I'm totally innocent, I wasn't there, it wasn't me, and that snail is telling lies :!: :shock: :shock: r040.gif

    I would never pretend to be a teenage girl :!: I can't help it that I look so young and beautiful, can I :?: d100.gif
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Joan

    You were taken too I see. Wonder if they will shoot us?

    That snail is a bit small, but he may have been involved. It might be a siege by snails and gnomes.

    I thought the last time we had a gnome it was in the car park near a puddle??
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    they get every where these gnomes dont they.right we need a cunning plan and lots of people to fight this one val
    val
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Right Gang

    We will all have to band together and find this egg. Also this gnome or gnomes.

    Did anyone see anything??
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Watch him, Joan, he's on a mission and should be bringing back another clue to help us find the Egg of Destiny, hope it's not a snail egg. If it's Faberge, I won't complain!

    In the meantime I am just about to uncover the first egg to see if there were any clues left with it. I've had sheveral large drinksh to help me overcome the fumesh and am wearing my gash mask, goo job I kept it!

    Annie
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The fumes from that egg are making me dizzy, Annie. c030.gif

    Are there any clues with it :?:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes! A scrap of paper in a small waterproof box - it ...........ooh, I am dizzy, too...........mustsh get outta here.............

    Annie
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's a map, Annie, and X marks the spot. That must be where the last Egg of Destiny is hidden. Trouble is, I don't know where the map is leading. Maybe it's to Arthur's :?:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    There's writing on the back, Joan...........now I'm in the fresh air my vision has cleared. It reads 'I am both under and over' ..........

    What is that all about? Let's pop off to Arthur's for another little drinkie and consider the matter - it might be easier after another dram or two!

    Annie
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    is that map the right way up it looks like it heading into the gents in the cafe surely not i must be wrong
    val
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We take you live to our reporter at The Cane and Able…

    The search for the Last of the 7 Eggs of Destiny continues here at The Cane and Able. Police have removed large quantities of suspected arthritis drugs, designer track suit bottoms and a large black plastic bags of pork pies for forensic analysis, two bags industrial strength complimentary peanuts - thought to be employed in bomb making equipment - were also found on the premises.

    A lawyer acting on behalf of the gnomes angrily dismissed the police claim that they had arrested 9 gnomes as a gross exaggeration insisting that 3 gnomes had been arrested 3 times.
    I asked the officer who led the raid Chief Inspector Rod Sprockett why he had targeted this particular pub, ‘We have suspected for a number of years that the last of the 7 Eggs of Destiny has been holed up in this ’ere boozer for a long time, in fact only recently a punter known by the alias of Annie Miall was seen taking it for a walk in the beer garden, how blooming cheeky is that eh?’

    ‘Did you encounter stiff resistance?’

    'One of the wimmen the aforementioned Annie Maill was tooled up, but an elderly lady waving a lucky tea strainer and an aggressive look, is no match for a 6 foot copper kitted out in in Teflon Body Armour waving a Kalashnikov in her face’

    ‘So who tipped you off?’ I asked, slipping the Chief Inspector a bulging brown envelope.

    ‘ A man in a mac’

    ‘’A man in a mac?’

    ‘ Well not quite a mac, but a man in a beige cardigan, his ex mac along the last of the & Eggs of Desting are are the heart of the investigation, the gnomes and other short statured people engaged in un British sexual activities is just for the Sun readers'

    ‘Gosh’ I commented , so it was the gnomes that are responsible for all this kerfuffle?’

    ‘Not exactly’ replied Rod Sprockettt as he pried the probing fingers of a scantily clad Cris away from his reinforced Teflon Cod piece, we think it was…..(pregnant pause) cue music..’ dum dum dummm!!!….

    Mell Man and his side kick Del Boy, The Deadly Duo!!!!!!!!!!'


    At this stage your on the spot reporter swoons with an attack of the vapours.
    val
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    annie_mial wrote:
    Watch him, Joan, he's on a mission and should be bringing back another clue to help us find the Egg of Destiny, hope it's not a snail egg. If it's Faberge, I won't complain!

    In the meantime I am just about to uncover the first egg to see if there were any clues left with it. I've had sheveral large drinksh to help me overcome the fumesh and am wearing my gash mask, goo job I kept it!

    Annie

    Annie Joan

    Whatever you do, don't look at the eggs, :shock: I was just polishing them and one rolled away.

    I used my brolly and chased it down the hill in my wheelchair. I caught up with it and then inspected it for cracks.

    Well, I had to have some cousilling earlier today.

    I saw something I never thought was possible but it was. There inside this egg was an animal, snarling at me among other things that I dare not discuss.

    The sight was not a pretty one, it was frightening then laughable all at the same time.

    I was left all of a quiver. :shock:
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 9. Jun 2010, 17:40
    At this stage your on the spot reporter swoons with an attack of the vapours.

    Well Mell Man and Del Boy would be enough to make anyone swoon :!: :shock:

    I think the man in the beige cardigan should be arrested for serious crimes against fashion. Send for Gok someone :!:


    The sight was not a pretty one, it was frightening then laughable all at the same time.

    I was left all of a quiver

    The mind boggles :!: :shock: :lol: I'm shaking in my shoes :!: :shock:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif

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