for trish as requested
Comments
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annie_mial wrote:Glad you are on the case, Trish. I am happy to report that I have identified Sid and he has a message for us.
It reads 'the Egg is in the nest' I reckon that's a mare's nest! Now we will have to start looking in trees for large nests!
Can't get any sense out of the gnomes - they've all got their brollies up, wellies on and seriously p*ssed off expressions.
Annie
i see trisher has her brolly again she can fly up to the nests and look for us
it sending me a bit bats lolval0 -
annie_mial wrote:Glad you are on the case, Trish. I am happy to report that I have identified Sid and he has a message for us.
It reads 'the Egg is in the nest' I reckon that's a mare's nest! Now we will have to start looking in trees for large nests!
Can't get any sense out of the gnomes - they've all got their brollies up, wellies on and seriously p*ssed off expressions.
Annie
Annie
What is a mares nest? I thought Mares were horses. You don't mean I have to go looking through manure do you, that could be classed as a mares nest I suppose.0 -
I have located an egg of gold. Could that be the one you are looking for? The one that was stolen?
There is only a slight problem there though.
Someone has taken up residence take a look.0 -
not sure this the egg or it taken ages to hatch lolval0
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BREAKING NEWS !!!!!!!!!!!!
Police Recapture Egg Snatching Leader
An Exclusive report by our very own Fat Kev
West Midlands Police confirmed that the leader of the increasingly militant Destiny Egg sect has been detained for questioning.
Chief Inspector Rod Sprockett who led the raid on a popular drinking establishment in the Chat Chat Forum in which 9 garden gnomes and a small snail were arrested for gross indecency and un British acts of depravity was upbeat about the deepening Destiny Egg crisis.
‘We brought her in after simultaneous dawn raids on 47 boozers, clubs and massage parlours in the region ‘ he told our our reporter Fat Kev who was wearing baggy combats for no particular reason,
‘We had a tip off from a concerned member of the public, Julie Snowball who informed us there were some shifty gnomes next door, we want to thank Julie and ensure her that police protection has been ordered for her home at 53 Lanvbury Gardens Chipping Snodgrass for sometime next week’
‘ We expect attempts to release Trisher will be carried out by her supporters who we believe maybe even be setting up a new command post in the Bunker right now, as yet we are unsure wether the Deadly Duo
Mell Man A Dell Boy will be supporting them, but never the less the lads are I are up for a bit of physical and look forward to showing these miscreants how to fall down stairs’
We return you to the studio......
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I knew Fat Kev would be in this as well. Might have been him who took the egg.
Julie Snowball.......she will be pleased or flattered.
Trish xx0 -
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trisher wrote:I knew Fat Kev would be in this as well. Might have been him who took the egg.
Julie Snowball.......she will be pleased or flattered.
Trish xx
Yes Trisher, I thought Fat Kev might appear somehow :!: We only need Alan D Lord now :!:
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Just seen this in the paper. It looks suspiciously like one of the missing eggs :!:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1285579/Eggs-straordinary-Harriet-hen-crack-record.html0 -
Joan
Wonder how long it took her to lay that. It is big isn't it. What a shame it is not one of Cris's hens.
Cris might not have liked hers to lay one that size wonder if it hurt??0 -
well it made my eyes run never mind the poor hen. right we have fat kev in combats the cane and able with its normal crew most of the bunker babes out on bail mell and dell awall what ever next will wait with baited breath out of ideas who next to join in the fun are we still egg hunting valval0
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annie_mial wrote:trisher wrote:Short statured people Does that me me :shock:
Yeah, wot you bin up to Trish? The destructor - um, I mean Inspector Sprod Rocket wants to interview you.
I've been charged with taking the Egg for a walk, but I can prove it was Sid Snail on a lead - that's why the walk took us a week! The snail trail is still there, I checked.
Annie
Sorry I'm late in reporting in Annie, Val, Joan Julie Snowball I have been on a mission before inspector Rprod Socket interviews me.
I went out in the middle of the night to see if I could find any more clues, I was disguised which I thought was clever of me to have had such a brainwave.
Is this what you are looking for? Is this Sidney Snail? Could he have a twin? He said his name was Brian and he lived on a roundabout.
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nice out fit trisher would never have known you in that but why is the snail on a lead is it to stop it running away lol or was annie going to take it for a walk valval0
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I was taking Sid for a walk, Val, when all the shenanigans started. Trish, have you turned him upside down? Brian might be an alias.
He doesn't look quite big enough, but he might be one of Sid's brothers/sisters, in which case you could give him the third degree until he confesses.
It rained very hard here all night and all morning. When I finally ventured out into the garden this afternoon, accompanied by a cement mixer, wheelbarrow and two men, there wasn't a gnome to be seen.
Who's got them?
Annie0 -
think they all gone into hidding or police got them all valval0
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annie_mial wrote:I was taking Sid for a walk, Val, when all the shenanigans started. Trish, have you turned him upside down? Brian might be an alias.
He doesn't look quite big enough, but he might be one of Sid's brothers/sisters, in which case you could give him the third degree until he confesses.
It rained very hard here all night and all morning. When I finally ventured out into the garden this afternoon, accompanied by a cement mixer, wheelbarrow and two men, there wasn't a gnome to be seen.
Who's got them?
Annie
Annie
I would not dare to turn someone upside down and look at their bottom :shock: Is that what you do??
And just how do I give him the third degree?? Shall I twist his twirley bits or tickle him?
It had been raining so his name may have rubbed off. Just how big is your snail???0 -
I do it all the time, Trish, but only with snails. To give them the third degree all you do is bring out the salt shaker and show it to them.............it makes 'em go all weak round the shell.
My snails are about a foot long - 11 or 12 inches - haven't measured them exactly, it was a bit difficult. I did write their names on in permanent pen, so it shouldn't come off in the rain.
Shirley did wriggle a bit and Susan tried to bite me. The boys were very well behaved.
Annie0 -
annie_mial wrote:I do it all the time, Trish, but only with snails. To give them the third degree all you do is bring out the salt shaker and show it to them.............it makes 'em go all weak round the shell.
My snails are about a foot long - 11 or 12 inches - haven't measured them exactly, it was a bit difficult. I did write their names on in permanent pen, so it shouldn't come off in the rain.
Shirley did wriggle a bit and Susan tried to bite me. The boys were very well behaved.
Annie
It pays to be slightly mad when contributing to this thread. :shock: :shock: I go away for a couple of hours, only to return to giant snails 11 or 12 inches long called Shirley and Susan :!: :!: :shock: Just an ordinary day then :?: :?: 0 -
:shock: I am here girls I did have one on my living room window :shock: left a right old mess :roll: Trish you turn it over and I will tickle it with my feather duster
Julie((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all0 -
Julie
Will it laugh if I do. I think Annies snails might be French. They hid in lorries at the ferry ports and crept inside to avoid being eaten.
How do snails go to the toilet?0 -
trisher wrote:Julie
Will it laugh if I do. I think Annies snails might be French. They hid in lorries at the ferry ports and crept inside to avoid being eaten.
How do snails go to the toilet?
I would rather it laughed than be hangry :? How do snails go to the toilet :?
Julie xx((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all0 -
That is what I would like to know.
You don't think it stays in their shells do you that why they get bigger ones then they grow to fit that.
Now listen up girls this is a history lesson
I have an Amonnite shell, which is a bit like a snail but much larger. If you cut them in half there are little compartments well holes at regular spaces because I have lost the plot.
These are extinct now. They are 70 million years old. So instead of snail hunting we should go and find some Ammonite. Think how rich we would be.
I wonder if they store it there until it reduces to nothing. Would take more that the salt shaker to make them quiver.0 -
A statement by Alan D Lord
Owner of the Cane and Able Gastro Pub and Arhur’s Wine bar
Friends, Romans and Country men, lend me you money I can’t spend your ears! (Wasn’t that a line from a Carry on Film?)
I have been asked to speak to you by Chief Inspector Rod Sprockett on a subject which many of you will know to be of the very highest importance to the very survival of of this forum we love so well.
I am here to tell you of a threat-an insidious poison which is eating at the at the very fabric of this thread like a flesh-eating, poisonous thingie. A thread , which we, the patrons of the Cane and Able, have done so much to create. This is a threat more deadly than Al Qaeda, more evil than an Iranian Ayatollah, more mendacious than the French and more cynically self-serving than a an ex MP claiming Parliamentary Privilege I speak, my friends, of the sin of going OFF TOPIC! (shock and horror from the audience)
I can understand your shock. I know you all have gnomes and snails in your street, perhaps even in your own gardens—friendly little fellows with wheelbarrows full of plants cradling quaint fishing rods in their gnarled hands. , snails that leave slime trail on your path and that pleasant crunching noise when you step on them,
But what have the to do with THE EGG I ask?? Where is the last egg of the 7 Eggs of Destiny?
How can this loss threaten us?’ I hear you ask. And I answer, God bless you. You are the punters that I love—the people I am proud to pull a pint for and honoured to serve. Your tolerance of the gnome and snail in our midst is, at the same time, the defining virtue of the British character and our greatest weakness I say yes, embrace the lonely stranger, the weak and the oppressed. Feel in his pockets, see if he is worth turning over for a few bob. But I say also take care he is not a snake in the nest or a cuckoo in the woodpile. (what?)
How many snails are there? Do you know? I have discovered there are already twenty two snails for every man woman and child in England. Where are they all? You ask. Brothers and sisters—they are all around us! In every garden, by every lettuce patch, watching and waiting with their little slimy eyes
(Cries of 'lynch the evil b****rs, but where is the Egg O‘ Alan!' from Jordan at the rear of the auditorium)
Do not be fooled by the Bunker babes who want nothing better than for all of us to keep a snail in our home whilst they hold evil and un Brtish Acts with The Egg that THEY HAVE STOLEN!!!. The Egg is being subjected to the most appalling depravities during which every conceivable perverted act is perpetrated upon his ovoidness, (I made that up you know!) this talk of snails and gnomes is a distraction an OFF TOPIC designed to distract us from finding and returning the EGG to the bosom of his family behind the bar of the Cane and Able
So I say to enough chitter chatter about Snails and rosy cheeked Gbomes with fishing rods, lets us concentrate on the Return of The Last Of The 7 Eggs of Destiny, I say unto you, lets us send a cry forward out into this land of ours ‘ Cry Haddock and release the Cods of War, send for the Deadly Duo, Mell Man and Dell Boy,
Crowd erupts into angry shouts, a Snail like effigy is spontaneously produced from a large holdall with some ‘well fancy finding that here’ petrol. The effigy is burnt, someone spills petrol on his foot; there is a lot of running about and general panic.
Alan D Lord continues,
I beg you, brothers and sisters, not to take the law into your own hands. These simple measures are enough. There will be no need for you to use the pile of baseball bats behind the bar to go on a wild rampage destroying snails in revenge for the sufferings of the Last of the 7 Eggs of Destiny. Show these Snails good British tolerance one more time. Stop in the pub on the way home, have eight pints of ‘Olde Wifebeater’ and talk about this OFF TOPIC plot. Then, if you still feel like kicking the crap out of them—well try not to get caught.
Good night posters of the forum. God bless you. God bless the Queen.
Thank you.
( a roar of applause and excited hand clapping erupts from a guy in a beige cardigan in the third row)0 -
i wish some one would get him new cardigan and alan delord knows we do not drink ale bring on the spirits. now where was that egg was it left at the lettus or right oh well will have another drink sure the others were listeningval0
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Is or could this be Fat Kev
Could it be the Egg of Destiny?? Where is inspector Sproket???
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