needing a hug here please

chris7

Hi everyone

Firstly apologies for not posting much recently. Things have been really bad here and I am once again at the end of my tether. Still struggling to cope with my two part time jobs, both of which have been horrendous lately. The small family run factory I do three days at has bought out another small local firm and we discover we have acquired not only their machinery, but also their orders and as it shoud be, possibly some of their staff. While new floors are being relaid not only are we still dragging boxes of tins down from the mezzanine down the stairs but are also carrying boxes of fudge and toffee in order to do the job. Just how much does a box of 55 packets of 200g fudge weigh in old money? I only do pounds and ounces. :? I do what I have to do at work as always but pay for it every evening and am stir crazy in this little box with no company.

Inspite of this government aiming to support people in work do I now understand correctly that they are intending to stop the working tax credit I currently get because my income is so low and I don't have any children who might be in poverty? What about ME!!If this is right I am somewhat disappointed since I work for the private sector in a small company who do alot of export orders and are in their small way doing their bit for this sad Country.

My hips are shot to pieces and the Consultant will want my hip when I see him again in November but how can I take time off work when I have an unsympathetic boss and fear that I could never go back to such a physically demanding job and would struggle to find something else as I am now 50?

On top of this my only friend my dear sis who lives hundreds of miles away is having to have a second throat op on the 9th Nov because the first one which they cancellled four times and eventually sent her privately for, didn't do the job correctly. I am worried sick for her.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent here. If anyone can spare I hug I could really use them at the moment.

Chris

dreamdaisy

I am a little out of practise but skezier has been topping up my hug bucket like mad, so brace yourself: ((((((((((((()))))))))))))

Things are not improving are they? You are in a Catch22 without doubt: can't cope with the job due to the hips, can't have the hips done due to fear of losing the work, can't do the work due to the hips etc etc etc. Now, just so I can make things worse, have you done the DLA forms yet? You were making progress on that front a little while ago but I then I let the ball drop - I don't like nagging. I have no doubt that you should qualify given the parlous state you are in: pride is a good thing but sometimes, my sweet, it can be taken a little too far. Fill in the forms based on a BAD DAY - of which there are undoubtedly many. Send them off and wait and see. (I am assuming you have not done them - am I right?)

You are wearing yourself into the ground, chris7. It won't do. We need a plan. Perhaps someone on here will be able to come up with one: keep posting, please. Keep in touch, only then can we help. So many vanish from here because things are going well - sometimes it is easy to forget that people vanish for the opposite reason. I am guilty of that when it comes to you, and I sincerely apologise. Someone else has been taking up far too much of my attention - I need to get myself sorted, thank you for the prompt.

Right, as it's you: (((((((((((()))))))))))) DD

dippydoodah

Sorry to hear your going through a rough time.
Just thought Id offer some virtual gentle hugs too ((((((()))))))
Hope they help xx

tonesp

Here's a nice hot hug from sunny Spain Not as warm as it has been here but hopefully warm enough to cheer you up

minky67

Hi Cris, You have us so you not too alone on that score.
As for the rest im not much help. Only you know how much your suffering & only you can make the important decisions about your work.
Difficult times ahead but were here for you so vent away.
Sending oddles of hugs ((((()))))
debs

coco67

Sending you masses of soft snuggly hugs.

coco xx

salamander

Hi Chris, I feel so inadequate as don't know what to say about your situation. I'm really sorry things are so hard for you right now. It hasn't helped any of us that the spending review has come down so hard on the disabled and vulnerable. Also, people don't realise the extra cost of living on your own, there is no-one else to put their hand in their pocket and it's not fair you should lose your WTC.

However, you must put your health first. Have you applied for DLA as Daisy asks? That would be a good start. What about making an appointment with CAB to talk your situation through. They may have some suggestions. They helped me get through a very difficult patch once. You need support to make the right decisions for you.

You are not alone, don't disappear as we can't support you if you do.
lots of love
Sal xx

janie68

Chris

Here are some gentle hugs for you

((((()))))

Sorry to hear things are so bad for you, I just wish we didn't have to go through the stuff that we do, healthy peeps I'm sure wouldn't be able to cope!

Janie

skezier

Hi Chris,

Flower its not good to feel like this..... I don't know how I can hep but I am sending a whole heap of (((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))) to you both.

I know work is rough, I know things are up in the air but just know there are whole lot of people here to help and support you through anything.

Sending you love and a bucket of anything you like as well as a hug bucket. Cris xxx

chris7

Bless you all guys

I go to make a brew and come back to see so many of you helping me out with so many hugs including virtual hugs from dippy, warm spanish hugs from tonesp, snuggly hugs from coco, gentle hugs from janie, buckets of 'em from Jan, and a generous use of brackets from DD. Thank you all so much; asking for help is a bit hard for me :? I do tend to hide away, but yes Debs I should always remember I am not on my own and thanks for the reminder. I sometimes forget that when the walls are closing in here.

DD you have summed up the Catch 22 accurately there and yes DD and Sally the DLA forms still sit here! :oops: The problem there that when I last saw my Consultant in April he was running an hour late and I was a tad economical with the truth and he writes to my doc. that inspite of the state of my x rays I had minimal symptoms. I was only on ibuprofen back then. In my defence I was still in a state of denial and object terror back then. So he would hardly have been able to support any DLA claim and now it looks even harder to get for anyone!! I do manage an 8 hour shift three days a week does because I HAVE too, does it really count that my first duvet day is spend not being able to walk? I am still confused on this one!

Hi Cris just seen you sneak in with more buckets of hugs and right back at you at the moment flower. ((((( ))))) We are both in a bit of muddle at the moment I think. I do wish you better days.

Thanks again you lovely people I feel so much better for just seeing you all there.
Chris (who is feeling very hugged thanks)

elnafinn

Dear Chris

I am very sorry that you are feeling so bad at this time in every way. I had noticed that you had not been on here for a goodly time. I wish I could do something to help you but I can send you hugs and I do hope that things turn around for you very soon.

Love
Elna x

skezier

Hey Chris remember that deal we had? I kinda there.... honest so are you yet?

Flower I got a huge catch 22 as well and know how bad that is. I couldn't be more broke if I tried now and yet I have to keep going.... my catch 22 is alive but flower its never easy is it? just done the water and keep thinking I can't do this..... mind it don't help that the lodgers got a bit uppitty.... Ivy and I almost went in the tank and believe me she couldn't have got back out and I would have come out auditioning for the part of the swamp monster... Grew 2 heads and actually adopted their policy of these are my heels.... backwards .... hell am I paying for that!

Got to do a coupe of rounds of spin the sheep... only its really spin the human now a days I actually just yell into the sky cus you know what Its NOT fair! Its not fair for you either flower but the hips thing maybe November will help you n that?

What date do you go?

A ton of ((( )))'s in fact a Skip's worth and so many hopes that it gets easier for you. Love Cris xxx

annie_mial

Chris, I and others had noticed that you hadn't been around........been a tad worried as I know you hide away when things get bad.
Some of these (((((((()))))))) for you and I don't give them away easily, either.
Like everyone else, I so wish I could help! A good scolding might do the trick.....TELL THE TRUTH this time!

I'm sorry for your sis and that you can't be there for her, which I'm sure is upsetting you greatly. Hang in there, petal, and keep posting so that we know when you need hugs.

Annie

angel1

Well done Chrissie, my love. I`ve been telling you - and you`ve been taking not a bit of notice!! - that there were shedsful of love, and bucketsful of hugs, waiting for you, on here. NOW, do you believe me? So, no more disappearing acts.

OK, it doesn`t solve the practical problems, but, knowing you, I bet you`re feeling better for all the good wishes. The rest, well, we`ll just have to see what we can come up with. For now, take some more duvet days, and keep posting........Much love.....Ange.HM.x.

alarkra

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Hope things get better for you soon. xx

roses1

Hi cris,

I wondered how you were doing as i hadnt seen you around .

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles (((((hugs))))) hope your sis is ok too.

I have done a scream room go and scream it will make you feel better!


Hopefully you will get to the CAB office and someone will do the forms for you, look up DIAL they will help too, you will find allsorts of info on internet some of which you may find useful.


Take care and keep popping in


Rose x

dreamdaisy

Never, EVER fib to the consultant. It does not matter how late he is running, that is probably other patients telling him how it really is, and you in your turn should do the same. He is there to help: he cannot if he doesn't know the full truth. Fib to others, occasionally fib to us (if you really have to) but never, EVER fib to the docs. It doesn't help. Daft girl. (And that is typed with affection.) Take care. DD

barbara12

Hi Chris
I have sent you a pm, I should have known there was something wrong, you where to quiet.
We will all get our thinking caps on, and see what we can come up with, you know we are always here for you.
Now try and get some sleep,
Sending you loads of hugs ((((((((()))))))
Love
Barbara xxx

salamander

It's easy to gloss over things when you are in front of your consultant. I didn't stress to mine how difficult I've been finding things lately and in his letter he says I've been suffering a 'mild flare!'

I'm sure you do manage but that doesn't mean to say it is easy and that you don't need help and support.
Take care Chris.
xx

ironic

Hi Chris,
Oh oodles and oodles of hugs coming your way. That’s some weight you’re dragging across the floors. No wonder your hips are screaming at you. The only one good thing I can say is that maybe the new staff will have the same work ethics you have.
I’m not sure about the tax credit decision. I think you have been there too long for them to dismiss you out of hand just for having sick leave. The other company may have put in their own terms and conditions for the welfare of their employees. It would mean that you would all have to be treated in the same way.
I am so sorry your lovely sister is having such an awful time and it is so hard when you are so far apart.
Good luck with your own appointment next month, but you will have to fess up this time. OK??
Lv, Ix

Wonkylegs

OH Chris ...... there are buckets full of hugs right here for you, not to mention slurps and tail wags from littlelegs ((((((((())))))))))

ange has summed it up perfectly as ever.

you know where I am.

love and hugs
WOnky

skezier

Hi Chris,

I been thinking about you... I told you there is a deadmau5 track that's always reminds me of you

Work after the hip.... If they can make some slight modifications maybe it wont be so bad? I know its small and this way businesses are having trouble but you have to put yourself first here.... I honestly agree you got to be honest with the consultant.....

Chris I had to yesterday and it was horribly heavy but he is going to help me cus now he knows.... If I had done my usual I would still be alone in it all.

I so hope your sis will be ok, and i am sure this time they will get it right! I don't have a close relationship with my sister.... or any of the others so I don't really know how you feel....I got an adopted one though and well I do understand.

You got your adopted mum don't forget and she is very good and very kind! This I know cus bless her she came to m rescue drip week

You got us, and I promise you I really do care about you and well I know its just words on a pc screen but you are very important to so many of us flower.

Catch 22 isn't as big a trap if you look at it from a different angle..... My angle I couldn't live with but yours is slightly different and well I just wish i knew the answer.....

Sending you a hug bucket like DD got and it never runs out flower. You sleep well my friend and another (((((((((( )))))))))) Love Cris and this lot and just now I have 5 cats on me and a dog on my feet so its a few of us xxx

dreamdaisy

I have visions of skezier decorated with animals - what a sight!

Morning chris7, I have no idea if you will be looking in here today, but I hope you do. There are quite a few around here thinking of you, we do miss you when you are not about. I hope you are feeling OK-ish today, now we know you are down we will do everything we can to build you up again. I know you are in your own boat with all of this but many are in similar craft - we are here to help as much as we can. DD

sharmaine

Hi Chris 7

I'm very sorry to hear about your problems. Don't worry about what your boss thinks regarding your operation. The longer you hang on and don't have the operation the more pain you will be in.
You won't be able to do anything very physical for quite a while after the operation. Have your operation, get better and stronger. Be upfront and explain things to your boss - he may surprise you by being understanding. Anyway, if he isn't then he's a fool.

With regards to your financial situation - I think you should go and see someone at the Citizens Advice Bureau as soon as possible. This will set your mind at rest and then you can plan accordingly.
Of course, people will want you. You should fit into one of their categories for support. Get the advice then re-think your situation.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister and hopefully she'll be alright.
Life throws all sorts of things at us. My mother always says that there's always a solution to a problem you just have to go in search of it.

With regards
Sharmaine
X

barbara12

Morning Chris
Just want to send you loads more hugs (((((((((())))))))
I hope you get an easier day at work.
Thinking about you my love.
Barbara xxxx

maria09

Hi Chris,
Ive not been around for a while myself
Im so so sorry you are going through such a dreadful time
Isnt there a health & safety issue carrying heavy boxes up & down the stairs?
Your bosses sound so uncaring
You need to be honest when you go see your consultant dont put a brave face on I know he will be understanding
Keep with us on here it helps
Im sending you big hugs
(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
Love Maria