Acceptance?

Kittkat

Hi Slosh&Hope. No one can predict the future .I do ponder it sometimes but worry has never helped me one bit.I'm 24 and don't know how quick/slow things will deteriorate.I have decided to go ahead and plan positive things regardless, I will have to work around the arthritis as a lot of the time there are ways to do this. I think things really changed for me when I reached a level of acceptance.I am a lot more relaxed about telling the relevant people I have psoriasis arthritis.

I used to be very, very angry. Particularly at my dad who I believe gave it to me ( he has ulcerative colitis).I was also angry at myself for bringing it out. But I just think if this is the way my life will be then so be it. It is no ones fault.
All the best

Bovey

I think I must still be in denial! I went to Marwell Zoo yesterday with my 22 month old grandson. He was fascinated. I am suffering today big time even though I scootered it. Hubby says it serves me right being an idiot, but i enjoyed myself. I don't care! Arthur stays with me on my terms! But I'm still waiting for the genetic cure so I can evict him. Wish they'd hurry up.

My friend is taking all my feet unfriendly shoes to charity shop and my wardrobe is full of crocs, trainers, fitflops and other flat orthosoled THINGS. Nasty day.

Slosh

Sorry to hear about your shoes, mine have only got as far as a bag in the back room, can't bring myself to do the deed just yet.
Glad to had a good day yesterday even if you are in payback today. I'm sure spending time with your Grandson was worth it. Just waiting to get my new car and the ok to drive so I can start making regular visits to see my two boys again.
Hope you start to feel better soon.

jrliv

Oh girls I feel so sorry for you all, I hadn' t thought about the how the shoe thing would affect women. My shoe moment was easy because men's shoes generally lend themselves to arthur life better. It helps me to wear thicker socks and a good pair of Doc Martens but that doesn't help you much I know.
As far as acceptance goes my problem is working with my hands which I have done all my life, and now retirement has allowed me the time I can get on with all my craft projects except for........ But I am blowed if I will allow my body to rob me of this, there are other ways, perhaps new crafts to try, other avenues to explore.
I am new here, and it is nice to meet such caring and friendly people
John

stickywicket

jrliv wrote:

I am blowed if I will allow my body to rob me of this, there are other ways, perhaps new crafts to try, other avenues to explore.

And you will, John. Use the arthritis as a springboard ( carefully ) to launch yourself into ventures you would not have considered without it. And enjoy the exploring

Slosh

I understand how you feel about having to find a new craft as I am in the same position. My craft, which I also called my "therapy" was sewing, mainly patchwork and quilting and prior to this I had started selling work and had had some commissions. Unfortunately I have been told that I need to give this up as it puts too much strain onmy neck and shoulders. It is hard to pack things away and I'm now starting to sell my machines etc. On a more positive note I have started to explore mixed media art and while I miss my textiles I have found a new way to create. I hope you are successful too.

Airwave!

Don't forget that our condition changes minute by minute and our minds change accordingly, as this happens our acceptance changes and our mood swings. Changes in mood is to an extent a part of life, the ups and the downs are natural as is our condition.

The changes may well be unwanted and a 'down' reminds us of our long term condition and we associate that with discomfort, however it is a passing phase and a higher level of wellbeing does return.

Managing our ups and downs is more important, doctors manage our pain, we manage our minds, mostly. Allow yourself to relax and feel happy, a course of breathing exercises was a very important thing for me.

Not a complete answer but every little helps.

silkysam

There's a really Interesting topic! well I am having a bad day today. Yesterday , well was reasonable , but got very painful by the evening.However after reading this topic, I realized how much the "not wearing pretty shoes" affects you. Being just under 5 feet, I loved wearing heels, never heeding my gran's advice I would regret it one day! As all my trouble started with a fall, it was an immediate effect. My OA in hips and spine now make it almost impossible to turn my foot they way I would like - and how I feel I took my mobility for granted - so I struggle putting even my fit-flops on, or my thick soled boots. But at least I know I am not on my own. That does help.

debram

I loved my fit flops until I was referred to a podiatrist! I've been told never to wear open toe sandals, flat shoes or sandals, no flip /fit flops either as my toes are double jointed & I also have a flat arch.
I have inserts for my very " un-sexy" " special" shoes and will admit when they're worn both my legs feet ankles and toes hurt less.
They're black " Mary Jane type" but with this beautiful weather I'm hunting for a brighter pair. I've been told Hotter are good.


I do still occasionally wear my fit flops as they're much better than flip flops but not for long or I pay for it.

My podiatrist has been amazing , he showed me how to select a pair of shoes & trainers. My trainers can't have any " give" in them, they don't bend so they absorb impact. Makes a huge difference.
Happy shoe hunting !!

silkysam

That's interesting debram. Where did you get your adapted shoes from? Does the Orthopaedic Surgeon/ Clinic advise us on this? I was wondering how I will manage in the winter as I have very few shoes that are suitable for how I am now. Just wear fitflops in summer and boots in winter.

debram

I call them my "special shoes" as they're from a proper orthopaedic shop. You can get shoes from arthritic feet from the magazines in the podiatrist but I needed to try them first for my inserts so they told me about a shop. It's called Ace orthotics . This shop has podiatrists there bit I saw a nhs one.

I was referred by my rheumatologist to a podiatrist. I waited about 6 months. He inspects your feet and "gait" how you walk, toes first, heel first, limp etc. I didn't even know I have one leg shorter than the other until I went. This was a big issue as there was more pain in my right hip and back ,as a result and it affected the way I walked.
The podiatrist measured me for shoe inserts and referred me for physiotherapy for my hips and back. They did an x ray that diagnosed hip and back arthritis, gave me loads gentle exercises. Small movements based on palates.
They referred me for hydrotherapy and after another wait I had 8 sessions. It was wonderful as they showed me how much easier it was to exercise using the weight of the water.Brilliant!

silkysam

debram, that does sound very uplifting! I am seeing the Physio on Monday, will ask about exercise based on Pilates also water therapy. Will also ask about Orthotics. I, like you have one side higher than other. My right hip is the biggest problem, I know my gait is affected as last Pysio I saw mentioned it. Anyway, i do feel optimistic now debram, armed with that knowledge.

debram

Good luck silkysam . I think my podiatrist has been fantastic . I hope yours is too. For all the criticism the nhs gets I've got nothing but praise for them. There's many individuals working independently in different areas but they work as a fab "team" looking after me!

MadCatLady

Hi Everyone,

Just thought I would add a little bit into the topic of shoes. My feet are a nightmare. I have found a brand called Fit Flop. They are so comfy. I where their black leather trainers for work and I have a whole heap of sandals for the summer from them. I wouldn't say they are the cheapest but definately worth a go. Also they accommodate my shoe inserts ( the ones I have for work).

Hannah

silkysam

Hi MadCatLady, yes I live in my Fitflop sandals. I took a look at the casual shoes for going out and I did see a nice pair of Loafer type shoe. Are these the sort you wear to work. I need to get more substantial shoes, so interested in your opinion of the Loafer type shoe. Pity they are so expensive, but at least they do make a difference

applerose

I wear Sketchers Shape Ups which are similar. Boyes usually have a couple of styles in their sales. Just bought some for £30.

wendy2912

hi im new here so if i make a booboo just tell me ive had arthritis since i can remember but was only diagnosed a few yrs ago its never stopped me working but now ive been told i cant go back to do my job as a nursing assistant but cos i cant sit stand or walk about very much ive been told i really wont b able to do any job but im strugglin to accept that this is my life now and im only 45

debram

Hi Wendy - welcome to the forum. I'm 52 and early retired after a battle with my employer for 2 yrs.
I've been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis since 2012 but in reality had it longer.
I never envisaged giving up work at such an early age and "fought" my condition not wanting to "give up or give in" . I just now accept my Condition and my limitations . For me giving up work was a godsend- I couldn't function and the pain was awful.
Now I concentrate on myself and intend to keep as well as I can.
This site and individuals on it has helped me a lot so hopefully it will do the same for you.
Deb x

daffy2

Hello Wendy and welcome. This is a difficult time for you, with not just physical and practical issues to deal with but also the emotional ones as well(which are sometimes much more difficult)
If you put a new post( call it 'newbie' or 'help' - look at previous posts) on this LWA forum then more people are likely to see it and then they can offer support and practical suggestions. As arthritis is affecting your work situation you may also find it helpful to look at the benefits and working section.
You are not alone, there are wonderful people on here, and they have the advantage of knowing from personal experience the kinds of problems you are having, and will listen to you when you feel down or defeated, and share your pleasure at successes. There is life with arthritis and it can be good - different, yes, but not all bad.

Ossie

How long do people found it took them to accept their diagnosis. I did the shoe sale thing in the last couple of month and logically I know I have OA and PsA, but I really do think I will be fine again in a couple of days. Strange going through the process of being 'put out' of my job when it doesn't seem real yet to me. I know it doesn't make sense but it just isn't sinking in. I have been diagnosed with PsA for 2 years and OA for 6 months.

Slosh

I have a feeling it's a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. I had my diagnosis, OA, last July/August and things have developed since then and I've now bern referred to neurology as well. Thought I was doing well until I started my phased return to work last week and it's a bit of a struggle again. I just try to take it day by day.

Airwave!

Acceptance is, for me, an ever-changing concept and sometimes I am better than others at dealing with arther. After years with his unwanted company I got fed up with being a victim and brought myself another motorbike, yes, I know all the ready to use phrases and thoughts that spring to mind but it does make me happy! I must admit that getting my leathers on is a whole new experience these days, pity they don't fit ......8)

ITLSusan

I was diagnosed in 2006 with hip OA. I didn't accept it then and I didn't ever accept it. I was told I was in denial, I was ridiculed, I paid out a small fortune to various experts yet all most did was try to convince my I couldn't be cured rather than actually do what I asked and help me to find the cure. The doom and gloom prognosis from the experts wiped out my bank balance and added to my symptoms by constantly trying to drag me into their little world where everything is about accepting active life is over. I learned to steer well clear of health professionals - their attitude was toxic. Absolute denial is what worked for me.

It paid off. 9 years later I'm 100% symptom free. I no longer have OA. I'm running, weightlifting, doing martial arts at age 52. To a pretty high level too. Not a single symptom. My joints are being well tested and holding out fine.

In 2012 I developed severe shoulder impingement. I was told I would never get full recovery but was told "at your age it's not as if you're going to be wanting to swing from the chandeliers.". Well, this is a video of me doing pullups at age 52. So much for the 'at your age...'.



In that video shoulders still weren't 100% but I'm sure you'll agree, better than most able bodied, young peoples shoulders. You can still see the remaining muscle imbalance twisting my pelvis a little. I still had some hip symptoms at that point. That's all now gone. Everything is now tracking beautifully.

I get that it's a tricky one. There's no point wasting energy over something that's not possible. The question is, can you trust the people that are telling you it's not possible? We're led to believe that we CAN trust doctors, surgeons, physiotherapists etc. I proved them all wrong. Is my case an exception?

It's a tough decision to make. We can never know the outcome when we're at the start of our journey. There are no guarantees. But for me, self belief makes all the difference - I'd rather die trying. At times I DID have a lot of pain - I know that. Yet when people ask me I honestly answer that I didn't. Because I saw it as a passing hiccup it never really registered in my mind as a problem. That helped a lot. I still feel angry at all the health professionals that tried to drag me into their negative world. They're supposed to be there to help. It's not for them to decide HOW you should be helped.

lavenderlady

every time I think I get to accept me having these awful health problems something else turns up and is diagnosed, I wear Hotter's shoes all the time now the only ones that are comfortable although I do manage to wear some gorgeous Joe Browns sandle's in the summer,

lilbluebin

Hi lynn... m njoying ur acceptance post n about the shoes... oh my i feel bad too.. i still good pair of newly bought heels n sadly i cant wear them... i havent given them off to anybody else yet thinking i might be able to wear them again someday *hopeful* but sigh i donno if i can ever again... but i did wear one pair of heels on wedding too.. just wore them n sitting in one corner almost the whole time. Well most of have all these shoe stories... n i think m not to accept it yet. Sadly i guess i need to.