Not all rheumy related.

kellerman

Morning everyone,
Had a really rough October and literally was glad November was here,but now....well apart from 3 hospital appiontments for me,my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.Good thing was it was caught early as we all have the Brac 2 gene (my 3 daughters and me )Sister had breast removed and reconstructed from stomach so a tummy tuck as well.
Everything went fine,she is a young well 47 widow so she came to me when discharged.Everything was fine but yesterday took her for check up and they found she had an infection where the wound was on her stomach.Always been changed by district nurse who hadn't picked this up.Worse....they took some lymph gland at the op to test.The big C is present.Intravenous anti biotics so they can now operate again followed by chemo.I had to stay with her until 2 am as this was a shock.
Now I feel like I've been flattened by a bus.Pain especially legs and feet though really from neck downwards and to top it all I've fractured a rib.
Pain dullers are doing nothing.Right hand twice the size it should be even though I had a steroid injection just last friday.
Oh just realising how selfish I sound and pathetic.Got to go back to hospital again today with nighties etc,so got to pull myself together.
Sorry thought sharing this might give me a push as I have no get up and go.
Wish it wasn't morning could do with something stronger than tea.
Hope you are all ok as you can be.Take care of yourselves and if you've read this Thanks May

dreamdaisy

You think you sound selfish and pathetic? Think again: you sound like a woman who is absorbing a massive shock because that is what you are. May, I am so, so sorry, what a dreadful thing for you and your sister. You did absolutely the right thing in staying with her for so long and yes, you will pay the price now, but you could not have left her, could you? If you had the guilt would be far worse than the payback, the payback will ease in time, the guilt would hang around far longer.

Give yourself time today, ease yourself gently back into what has and needs to be done, I will be thinking of you both. DD

liesa

aww sorry to hear your sister is going through the worse thing possible, but u really need to give urself time to absorb all this to, she needs u but u need u to be as well as u can to help her...
cant offer much other warm gentle hugs and hope everything that needs to be done gets done for your sister, slow down for you to xx
thinking of u both xxxxx

stickywicket

Oh May, 'selfish and pathetic' are last words I'd use to describe you. To me you sound very kind and caring and totally wiped out both physically and emotionally.

I'm so sorry the news about your sister is not good. It's just one more hammer blow on top of all the others. Only you can decide how much you can/can't do to support her but I'm sure you realise arthritis thrives on stress and this is bound to be a bad period for you. I don't know if the doc would be able to help with some extra meds but please try to go easy on your poor body. I'm sure your sister will understand that you can't visit as regularly as you'd like.

This is, by the way, very much 'rheumy related' and you know that we want to help even when all we can do is 'listen' and sympathise. I do hope they can help your sister. Please be gentle with yourself. And keep us in the loop.

elnafinn

Dear May

I am so sorry to hear about you and your sister. As DD says stress will unfortunately aggravate your symptoms. Of course you want to be with your sister, what an awful shock for you both. I see how difficult it is for you both. I am wondering if the gp could help you out with this a little. Your sister does need a lot of love and reassurance at this time. Is there anyone else that can share the load with you, with visits and doing her nightie washing and so on?

When I was going through a very worrying few months with my mum in hospital I called in here practically every day and and was helped so much by the forum keeping me buoyant. It was a great release to be able to pour out my feelings here and so on and to receive replies. Perhaps this may help you too. I helped my SIL years ago when she had breast cancer. It is a terrible disease. I do understand a little of what you are going through and my heart goes out to you.

I am thinking of you and your sister at this time,

Love
Elna x

CJHunter

NO WAY are you pathetic or selfish. You are and heve been soo much,so if anyone has a right to want to talk about it you do.

Sorry to hear all horrid news, glad you have each other for support and hope you are both feeling much better soon.

Hugs and warm wishes.

kellerman

Thank you DD,Liesa,sticky,elna and clare,
You've made me cry but this is what I probably needed.
I am the eldest of 10 although I lost one brother 5 years ago,he had asbestosis.Only 2 sisters and this one is the youngest.
We lost Mum in March so really feel now I have to take over so to speak.
I will go up this afternoon but tonight I will see who can manage to go as I know I can't do both.
Yes DD I would of felt guilty.I would of stayed longer but she was given a sleeping tablet and she is still asleep now.
They freely admit the drain was taken out too soon.
Going to see if I can put my head down for an hour.OH has gone shopping so nice and quiet.
Thanks for your kind thoughts.May

elnafinn

Dear May

I think you did need a good cry. I hope you have been able to have a sleep. Sleep does help and often at times like this we do not get enough sleep, either because of time, being in pain/discomfort or the mind is ful of thoughts. What a lovely big family you have. I wonder if you all live fairly close to each other then perhaps others can help out. You have had a tough year May. I am sorry. I can understand how you feel about having to take over but you must have help too.

Keep calling in and you know that we will be here for you and I hope it helps you a little, knowing that.

Love
Elna x

barbara12

Oh May..I would say you are a lovely lady..looking after your sister like that...you did what you had to do...and now you need some me time...the shock must have been awful for you....sending you loads of very gentle hugs ((((()))) and love xxx and I have everything crossed for your sister.

ritwren

I just wanted to add my support to those who've already posted. What a dreadful time you and your sister and family must be going through. Hopefully by spreading out the visiting you'll get a bit more of a chance to rest. Hope things ease on the pain front soon for you and that you're all given the strength to bear this latest blow.
big hugs. Rita.

julie47

Dear May

I just want to send you some special cuddles for yourself (((((()))))) because to be honest I think you have been truly amazing and you are a wonderful caring sister.

I hope that this evening someone can take your place of visiting so that you can have some much needed rest.

I wish both you and your sister welll

Love Juliepf x

bertyboy

Hi May , so sorry to hear about your sister , and how you are both suffering , i am not supprised you are feeling lots of pain at the moment , sending gentle hugs and positive vibes for you both xx

nearlybionic

Hi May
I am sorry that you and your sister are having such a bad time . xxx
You are in no way being selfish, in fact quite the opposite. You have shown your sister so much love and been with her when she needs you most. I am sure this latest news is having an effect on you both physically and emotionally. It is no wonder you are feeling the effects in the way of pain.
I hope that the hospital ensure that your sister`s infection is fully cleared so she is at her strongest to cope with the chemo. Try to give yourself a bit of time to take in what is happening, and time to rest and look after yourself xxx.
I will be thinking of you and your family.
Nicola

kellerman

Update...I have just come back from the hospital.My sister will be on an antibiotic drip all weekend.They can't operate until the infection clears.
It is likely she will lose the use of her right arm as the lymph glands affected are under it.
This could possibly be permanent.She didn't want me to leave but did understand that I had to.My daughter is going tonight so at least I've got a break but I will be there tomorrow.
She is a bit spaced out so I don't know what she has been given.
A couple of goodish things.....she is left handed and I got my BB today thanks to my GP.
I am going to have my tea and take my pain dullers but to be honest I don't feel like eating.
You have all been fantastic,I really don't know how to thank you for all your lovely posts.
Just take care of yourselves.I will keep you posted and hope I'm not boring you all.It's just so helpful to be able to talk.
May

dreamdaisy

May, please please have a little something to eat, your poor tummy will need some fuel and it may help you to feel a little better too. I can understand the loss of appetite but a little plain summat will do you good, I am sure. Rest tonight, your sister is in good hands and in the right place, I am sure the thoughts are whirling but I hope you will be able to get some proper rest tonight. Take care - and you come and talk to us any time you like, we will be here to listen. OK? DD

frogmorton

Hey May

who on earth wouldn't feel like you when this terrible thing has happened to your sister?? :shock:

You poor thing :sad:

You are being strong for her and no doubt for your own girls so as to not alarm them, but you must need a hug too :sad:

I will cross everything l have at my disposal for a swift recovery for your sister, that she copes well with her treatment and that it works forher.

I will cross everything that you find (and l am sure you will) the strength to 'be there' for her.

Love and ((((()))))

Toni xx

hileena111

Awww May,
I'm just back and as I read through your thread I thought...yep I'm up to date until I came to your fractured rib.....how on earth did that happen ...on top of everything else?????
Then I read about Jackie and her arm.....keep me updated please and take care and please eat a bit.,.......pot calling the kettle black
Hear you soon
Love
Hileena

elnafinn

Dear May

Please do try to eat something especially as you are taking meds. I know that eating will be very low on your list of priorities as it was on mine during my troubled time with my mum. It will give you more energy and stamina which is what you need. Friends did begin to tell me that I was looking unwell. It does take such a lot out of one, all the worry and stress and coping with everything.

You are not boring us and it most certainly does help to talk. I hope that you are able to get a good night's sleep and be ready to cope with tomorrow and what that brings.

Please know we are here for you,

Love
Elna x

elnafinn

Good morning May

I do hope that you slept well. I didn't at all for some reason or other :roll: and will more than likely start to flag around midday or so and have to take a nap.

Do please have some breakfast. That is what I am going to do along with the ritual of the meds. I hope you are ok as can be and that today is not too difficult for you, your sister and all concerned.

I see you are on line.

Thinking of you,

Love
Elna x

hileena111

Morning again May
Sorry about the slightly abrupt finish earlier.....will chat later when I get back
Love
Hileena

kellerman

Hi,
Well I did what I was told and had a couple of poached eggs yesterday.
Sunday we usually have a cooked breakfast but I'll settle for a bacon buttie.
Common sense and DD tells me I do need fuel to get me through today.
Slept quite well but I got up at 5am,well I was wide awake and needed a cup of tea.
I'll take my pain meds when I've had my breakfast.
I'm trying to unstress myself.
Family are a bit scattered and anyway I don't think the brothers would be much good.Fortunately I have my girls.
My other sister and her hubby have their own business and never seem to have time for anything.
I will be at afternoon visiting again today and will sort something out for tonight again.
Pain is a little better this morning.Hand is still swollen,hip and knees mainly.
Thanks to everyone on this forum for your really kind posts.I never thought there were so many people who have given there time and support to some-one who is after all a complete stranger.
Oh flip I'm crying again.
Please take care of yourselves. May

elnafinn

Dear May

I do know what you mean about people giving their time and support to perfect strangers, but weird though it is, it really does help and it is not only the person we are giving the time to, but ourselves too. We all have arthritis problems which is a common bond but we have also had/are having other problems and upsets to cope with and get through and this does makes us better, more patient, giving, people, to my way of thinking anyway and able to understand what others are going through. Sometimes it is easier to talk to "strangers" than friends and family. It is therapeutic to know a place you can go, pour out your problems and also know that you will get replies.

It is so good to hear that you have eaten, I will be thinking of you today and this afternoon and hope that you can get others to go in the evening.

Gentle hugs
Elna x ( who must go and practice what she preaches and have some breakas )

dreamdaisy

Hello May, it's the bossy one here! I am so pleased to read that you managed a little something to eat, that is so important as our bodies can not run on emotional fuel. You have a great demand on your physical resources at the moment and you must equip yourself as best you can to cope with that demand. I have a deal to do today and may not be around that much but I will be thinking of you from time to time, OK? I rang my bell a little extra last night, just for you and your sister. Take care. DD

stickywicket

Hello May. I'm thinking of you too. I'm pleased you're being sensible and eating (DD is fearsome when she's crossed, you know!) and also that some bits of you seem a little better.

I think you really know why we all 'give our time & support to a complete stranger' because you do it too. We're not 'complete strangers' on here because we all have something very basic in common. We all give our help when we can and receive it when we need. That's how the forum works and I, for one, am so grateful it does.

Take care, May. Let us know how things are with you and your sister. I hope they will improve.

elnafinn

Hi May

It is getting to lunch time now. Remember to eat before you go to visiting your sis. I am going to get my lunch now. Nice bread and some salmon slices left over from yesterday, with cucumber. One of my favourites. There is enough for me to share.

Thinking of you,

Hugs
Elna x

kellerman

Hi Oh bossy one,
Oh DD it's sense you wrote.I had told my hubby I didn't want any tea so he didn't bother,than after reading the forum I said I'll just have a couple of poached eggs.I'm allowed to change my mind,I'm a woman.
Anyway getting sorted to go go to hospital.....back later.May

Elna,
I could eat that salmon but haven't got time now,and yes I've had some lunch.