Not all rheumy related.

diamond

So sorry May to hear about your sister.You are not selfish put this thought right out of your mind.Sending lots of hugs to you both.xxxx

kellerman

Well I'm back and yes I have eaten some dinner.
My sister is very weepy,though I am not surprised.They had the drip in her hand and her vein had collasped.Her hand is black,mine is slightly blue.
They are apparently short staffed on a week-end.
My aches and pains are back with a vengence,stress I know.
It will probably be a couple of weeks before they can operate again,so they might let her out when the infection goes.
Nobody about to ask.
Obviously she wants to come here.May have a word with some one tomorrow.She's not eating much.
I feel a bit useless as there isn't much I can do.
They have really stupid visiting times.3-5 and 6-7.
I am going to put my feet up and hope I sleep a bit later in the morning.
Bath and dressing gown time I think.
Have a good night everyone.May

dreamdaisy

Bath and dressing gown sounds like a really good plan, May, I'm all for that one. Mr DD is doing my dinner, I'm a lucky girl tonight! (And a lucky girl who is already in her nightie. ) You take care, I hope you are able to manage some decent sleep tonight. Take care. DD

hileena111

Hi May
You take it easy {I know easier said than done} but if Jackie isnt having her op for another couple of weeks there isnt a lot you can do so try not to let it get to you......it will make you worse....as it is doing at the minute.
Hope you sleep well tonight and might hear from you tomorrow. I'm in pj's as well
Love Hileena

stickywicket

There is one line that stands out for me in your post, May. You say of your sister that, if allowed out 'obviously she wants to come here'. How do you feel about that? I'm sure that, with the current state of your health, your feelings must be at least mixed.

lindalegs

Hi May,

I hope you manage to sleep and feel better for it.

I'm sending positive vibes to both you and your sister at this awful time.

Love,

elnafinn

Hi again May

Weekends as I remember are never good when in hospital, either for the patient or visitors wishing to find out any information. It is as if every 5 days the wards close down with the minimum of staff all round, no physios, nothing. It can be very frustrating for both patient and visitor. That is why they do like to discharge patients on a Friday because otherwise there is little chance of leaving until the Monday otherwise.

I am sure that if you asked you would be able to visit your sister other times than the set visiting times. My brother never had any problem when he informed them he was travelling over 200 miles and wished to visit around 12 noon and I too asked to visit in the mornings sometimes and they said ok. There would be no harm in asking - they can only say no. Please do not feel useless when you visit your sis, just being there is enough. You will be able to get more information next week hopefully when the ward is fully manned. Again you can ask to speak with a doctor there.

I am sure your sis is feeling very weepy and has every reason to be. How do you feel about having your sis stay with you until the operation?

Bath and dg time sound good to me.

Sleep well,

Elna x

kellerman

Morning everybody,
Well I had a really good nights sleep.I feel reasonably human this morning.
Sticky and Elna,sorry I haven't really explained.
When my sister had the original op to remove her breast and do the reconstuction from her stomach she came here when discharged.
There really was no alternative and she was no bother.District nurse changed the dressings every day.
My OH is more or less trained in cooking and follows instructions well.
Yes I could visit anytime.I worked at the hospital,though not in this area.
If I did this though I am aware my sister would want me there more and I know I can't do this,selfish as it may sound.I need a bit of me time.
I will find out more today hopefully,but the surgeon who did the original op is on holiday.
I have a physio appointment this afternoon,different hospital so will have to change that.
I haven't had my breakfast yet so I had better have it in case I get telling off from you know who.
Flip this one finger typing is really bugging me. May

elnafinn

Good morning May,

Looking out it is a bit dull, grey and miserable here but not particurlary cold and not raining so that is good.

I see what you mean about your sister wanting you to visit more perhaps if you went out of visiting hours but surely you should not have to cancel your physio this afternoon. Perhaps you could visit in the evening instead or something. You are not being at all selfish. Far from it. You should attend physio for your own sake really.Today could be a perfect time to pop in earlier and explain to your sis why you have to leave. I am sure she would understand.

In a way having your sis at home with you would be easier. I can see that.

Well I had better get some breakas myself now. I do hope today goes ok for you.

Love
Elna x

kellerman

Oh Elna,Good idea,why didn't I think of that.
I think my brain is still asleep.
I just keep going over and over everything thats going on and trying to work out what next!!!
I told my sister that as the consultant said he had got it all it was extremely unlikely that it had spread and the biopsy was normal practice to be on the safe side.I was wrong,it had spread and I feel so guilty.
I was just trying to keep her positive but ohhh
Won't cancel physio.Have rung ward and explained and I can go in anytime so will get sorted and go in about an hour.
May

stickywicket

I agree with Elna, May. Much better to explain why you have to leave. Your physio is important, especially right now. Make it clear to your sister that this is just a one-off iff it means arriving before the official time. It is, in no way, being selfish. You are ill yourself and must pace yourself if you going to be of as much use as possible to her.

And don't feel guilty about telling your sister that removal of the lymph glands was just normal practice. It is. Well, it was when I had my mastectomy. The rest is just bad luck and nothing to do with you.

An OH who can 'follow instructions'? Oh, May, you are truly blessed. Can I borrow him? Does he give lessons in following instructions cos Mr SW gets lost at the first turning?

I hope the physio and the visit both go well. I'll be thinking of you. Take care.

elnafinn

Aw, May, good girl, you do have to look after yourself too. So pleased that I had a good idea. :idea: You may even get to see a doctor going in the morning to visit.

It is very easy to not be able to see the wood for the trees when worrying about everything. Someone standing a few steps away can sometimes see things a little clearer.

Aw dear May, please do not feel guilty. We all try to think of something positive to say in certain situations. Please do not beat yourself up about it.

Look after yourself, keep safe and speak soon,

Hugs
Elna x

barbara12

Hi May
I have been asked by our Cris (Skezier) she cant or shouldn't type at the min, to say she is thinking about you and sends loads of hugs ((((()))) and hope that things work out for your sister xx

hileena111

Hi May
I've probably missed it....just got online now but good luck with your physio appointment.
Dont even think of cancelling any medical appointments.....Jackie is OK....well you know what I mean dont you.....you cancelling doc or physio appointments wont make any difference to her really.
As for being selfish......dont even think that......you have been the most unselfish person I know since this all started and you had her with you at the beginning.....so stop thinking that....OK!!!!! Listen to your mother!!!! Or I'll hop over there and give you a good telling off I'm not that far away you know???
I'm assuming you have the same weather as us........frozen solid at 8am when I had to go to the docs......took ages to scrape the car and I think when I came out of the surgery it was even colder........the garden is still white at 12.35....
Hear you later
Love
Hileena

kellerman

Oh Hileena,Impossible for you to be my Mother!!!!
2 years between us I think.
Not very icy here but cold.Just a touch of ground frost.
Anyway I did see a doc at the hospital.They are keeping her in at the moment.They are concerned that it may have spread to other lymph glands.She will be having scans (think CT) Also some of the skin is dying off on her breast so she has to have that grafted.
I just don't believe this is happening.It was so perfect.
Good thing is on this ward they are all seperate rooms,so she can use her mobile and I've paid for TV for another 4 days.
She is obviously in a state and didn't want me to leave.I explained that I would be in no state to cope if I didn't keep my own appointments.
I know shes ok in there but I think she set her heart on coming out.

Well my other sister is going tonight...SHOCK....but I told her there is no way I could drive there again as the physio did a real job on me and I'm shattered.
John is pottering in the kitchen,don't know what he's doing.Smells like lamb!!!pure guess.

Just found out my SIL's mum has died suddenly.
Why does everything happen at the same time.
Part of me just feels like unplugging the phone,not answering the door and just hibenating.
Think I'll just chop this arm off it's driving me mad.

Oh so sorry just fed up,not like me and I don't like feeling this way.
Please everyone look after yourselves.
May

stickywicket

I'm sorry things are so tough, May. I'm glad you got to your physio though, even though you must be wondering if it was worth it right now. It is so hard on your sister and you but you're doing a great job. I hope your arm will feel better in the morning. You have a good husband and I'm absolutely sure you deserve him. Take care.

kellerman

Hi Sticky,
Arm is only aching because of this stupid hand.I can cope with other aches and pains but this is really annoying me,driving on a busy road,traffic lights every few minutes I've been holding onto the steering wheel hense arm and shoulder pain.
Coco might help when I've had something to eat.
I live in hope.May

stickywicket

Just a thought - and possibly not a very good one. I find pain that results from overstretching a muscle, or keeping it in the same position for too long, can sometimes be relieved a bit bit stretching it/ holding it the opposite way. Worth a try? (Go for the cocos too, though.)

elnafinn

Aw May, a bit of a day then to say the least. Of course your sis is upset at not being able to leave the hospital. Who would not be? You are right, though, she is in the best place. That is good having a room of her own unless this makes her feel lonely sometimes, when no one is with her.

It seems to often happen like that, things happening all at once. Goodness knows why. As if we are not tested enough at times.

I hope you enjoyed your meal and have taken your meds and feel a little better and calmer in yourself, now.

Take care,

Hugs
Elna x

kellerman

Hi,
I think I was getting slightly hysterical.
Well first Barbara give Cris my best wishes.I hope things improve.
Sticky,It has taken me ages to train my OH so although I'll lend him out it would only be on a short term basis. Have tried stretching arm and it is a bit better but this could be meds.

We tell ourselves we can't change anything and we know we can't yet we still stress out.Doesn't make sense really does it.

So shortly I'll have a funeral to attend,it will definately be expected.
She's SIL has rung me about wording for the newspaper.
Don't know if all eldest family get this but I always have.My brother used to send his Tax return the length of the country for me to sort for him.

I never minded any of this but now I'm fighting battles of my own.
Think I'll send a text saying only bother me if it's a matter of life and death.
Hoping to get to bed at about half ten.
Have a good night everyone. May

hileena111

Hi May
I've just got in from my arthritis meeting....so just seeing this now.
Sorry everything is happening at once {or seems to be}
Poor Jackie
Poor you as well.....but at least your sister is stepping up to the mark tonight...something to be thankful for.
Hope you enjoyed Johns cooking tonight.....try and relax while you have the chance.
Take care pet
Love
Hileena

stickywicket

I have a friend who is the eldest (of 5) by about 10 years and she is regarded as a 2nd mother by her siblings. She is a very kind person who has a very hard life, never complains, would do anything for anyone - except say NO. All her brothers & sisters take advantage of her, even when she's been seriously ill herself.

You are ill, May, and need to look after yourself. By all means help when you can and where your help is needed but, if others are just being lazy or delegating what they could easily do themselves, be kind but firm. You need to keep what strength you have for bigger battles than tax returns or even obituaries.

I hope the arm allows you to sleep.

elnafinn

Dear May

Although you know you cannot change anything and what will be, will be, naturally you will want to be with your sis as much as you are able which is what you are doing. It is very sad that your SIL has just lost her mother but surely she must have someone else she can ask about the wording in the newspaper. I mean other than you when she must know that you are fully occupied at the moment worrying about your sister and your own health.

I would not bother sending out a text but should family members be putting on you unnecessarily I do not see why you cannot use the words, sorry, not at the moment.

I hope you are fast asleep by now to gain strength for tomorrow and what that may bring.

Look after yourself, May, you are important too, do not forget that.

Hugs
Elna x

kellerman

Morning everyone,
Well I didn't manage any sleep until about 3am.
I fell over (not drunk)and my right leg is bruised,this is the side I am weakest on.Aches like mad this morning.
I had already told my SIL it's a waste of time putting anything in the newspaper yet until all the funeral arrangements are sorted.I also suggested she read what other people have wrote and that should give her some idea.
My next door neighbours niece is in hospital so she suggested we both go in one car together today.She'll drive....great.
John cooked a couple of beautiful lamb steaks last night.I really enjoyed it and then did my sideways roll and hense a lovely blue leg.
Anyway he has gone mad,told me to stop worrying about everything else,actually said if you weren't here they'd have to manage.
I was a bit shocked as he is the most easy going person I know.
But he's right.Doc has arranged an xray,just to be on the save side.Hip and thigh.I don't think there is anything broken.Then I have to see her for a chat!!!! 10.30.
Will let you know how I get on.
Horrible rainy day here today,I don't feel like moving but I must.
100% thanks for the great support on here.May

elnafinn

'morning May

I am sorry to hear that you did not sleep well last night, probably your mind was racing with this and that. I hate it when I cannot sleep and think that everyone else is! Everything always seems worse at night, somehow if sleep is not forthcoming

That is good news that you can be chauffer driven to the hossy today.

Sounds like hubby knocked some sense into you. Yep, when easy going peeps suddenly show their other side you know that you do need to sit up, listen and take note. I know what you mean. He sounds so good for you.

I am sorry to hear about your fall. It is good you are having an xray and also a chat with your gp. Sounds like a good plan.

So your day is mapped out then. Be careful, no more falling about, May.

Take is easy, well as easy as you are able and speak laters.

Love
Elna x