Anyone for an AC Halloween Coven?

dreamdaisy

I don't know what's going on but I am astride my Clatterbroom and ready to ride widdershins round anything and everything. My sores ooze, my whiskers bristle, the early supper of bat's blood mixed with rat snot was not that filling - I am a discontented old hag. Jut watch it. 8) DD

mig

Wondered who was screaming like a banshee DD.Mig

joanlawson

dreamdaisy wrote:

I don't know what's going on but I am astride my Clatterbroom and ready to ride widdershins round anything and everything. My sores ooze, my whiskers bristle, the early supper of bat's blood mixed with rat snot was not that filling - I am a discontented old hag. Jut watch it. 8) DD

What a wonderful picture I've got in my mind now, DD, as you whiz around on that Clatterbroom, oozing sores and bristling whiskers in true witch fashion.
Does the Clatterbroom have wheels attached for soft landings :?:

No wonder you're such a discontented old hag after that supper! You should have added a pinch of dried toad's warts for seasoning.

I can't seem to kick-start my broomstick tonight:

I think I'll have to call out the WBRA ( Witches Broomstick Repair Association )

dreamdaisy

That looks like a flat battery to me, Joan. (What a splendid emoticon, I must load some sites onto this computer!) Right, it's time to top-up my meds with an injection of caterpillar spleen, snake venom of three types and wasp stings (yup, meth day). DD

stickywicket

I’ve gained a bit more ‘coven cred’.

I’d my usual dental check-up this morning and the new hygienist isn’t quite au fait with my mouth yet and how it doesn’t open much (Yes, Mr SW disagrees strenuously, too). This morning she did all the scratching and scraping OK then accidentally attacked my bottom lip with the whirry brush they polish you up with. I noticed (flat on my back though I was) that her assistant with the sucking machine was mopping up vigorously and I made interesting patterns on the tissue once I sat up but I told myself lip bumps always feel bigger than they actually are. Nope. When I got home and checked, this one actually feels much smaller than it is.

I am even uglier than before. As is my mood. And I’m going to a party tomorrow night. (We’re using the tandem broomstick.) And it’s a magic bump because, if anyone touches it, or even comments on it, it results in an instant black eye.

I am preparing a suitable potion. Be warned.

dreamdaisy

Oh no. I am so, so sorry to hear this, this is not good. Would resting some ice on it help? May I suggest an ice cube that has the heart of a dormouse frozen within? All good potion shops sell them. The cube should of course be wrapped in copious layers of spider web to stop it burning the lip. DD

stickywicket

Er, no you may not :shock: It's bad enough having a thick lip. I don't want a spider's web dangling from it. One of this zealous lot will be throwing me in the cauldron.

mig

Starting a spell to put on Stickys dentist:

Sisters of the coven gather round,

stickywicket

Oh I like this! (She cackles, evilly.) Not the dentist though, please. She's lovely. It's the hygienist who wasn't very hygenic with my lip.

I think I rather fancy the 'furnunculus curse' for her. In Harry Potter it resulted in the unfortunate recipient being covered in boils - sort of one-up on the fat lip she gave me.

Colin1

gang of witches i thought so
now someone remind me where i go to get smiley things that jump up and down, i think you lot have a cast a spell on me.
Colin

stickywicket

Colin1 wrote:

someone remind me where i go to get smiley things that jump up and down,

:? Smiley things that jump up and down? You mean frogs? Plenty of those in the cauldron, Colin. Help yourself.

mig

Frogs in the cauldron,can we turn them into men in Lycra! Mig

stickywicket

Er, which men did you have in mind, mig? Alistair Cook? Yes. Mr SW? No. PLEASE NO!

mig

Mr Mig in Lycra any of the young men from the rowing.Mig

LignumVitae

Usain in Lycra. Swoon! When can we cast the spell?!

stickywicket

Anyone have a cloning spell? That way there'll be enough for everyone.

LignumVitae

We have to get this one just right. I realised that this morning when I was driving with my friend and we passed an older gent in full cycling Lycra . His saggy little bottom was wibbling and wobbling as he rode up the hill. A sad sight if ever there was.

joanlawson

By the power of my superwitch wand, I hereby bannish all old gents in Lycra with wibbly wobbly saggy bottoms :!:


May they all be replaced by Usain Bolt lookalikes :!:



Now that's how to wear Lycra :!:

joanlawson

Spell for today

Sugar lump,
Piece of pottery.
Dear god please let me win the lottery.

joanlawson

Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked.

Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which.

Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.

Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.

Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick.

Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
A: You'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell.

Q: Why won't a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because there is no point in it.

Q: What do witches cats like for breakfast?
A: Mice krispies.

Joan

mig

liked third one best.Mig

stickywicket

You're on fire, Joan Keep going. I hope today's spell worked

LignumVitae

Joan, I love your spells I also love those jokes, just up my street, still giggling away, thank you love LV xx

joanlawson

stickywicket wrote:

You're on fire, Joan Keep going. I hope today's spell worked

Unfortunately, the spell didn't work, so I'm not a millionaire witch as anticipated Think I should have turned round 3 times after I said it.
Never mind, there's always next week

mig

Nearly won a tenner ,forgot to spit though.Mig