Anyone for an AC Halloween Coven?

marrianne

Just read through ,I just cannot stop laughing ,had a horrible week ,but maybe some of the witchcraft as worked on me ,I cannot top any thing Joan an the rest of you have written but,I definately have an inner witchiness just bursting to get out A little black cat wearing an Elizabethan collar ,and thanks to the steroids a fine growth of velous hair ,Wart can be made of playdo ,Most of the children around here need smacking ........sorry mods ......... So please count me in ,Marrianne

stickywicket

Welcome to the coven, marrianne. No need for the Play Dough. I think, between, us, we probably have the odd spare wart to share.

Now ladies, about these spells. We're not clocking up a lot of success here and we all obviously need a lot more practice. To the best of my knowledge there is still only one Usain Bolt around and no-one has got the lycra right yet or there would be far fewer aged cyclists with wobbly bit uglifying our roads.

So, will all who can please attend the spell casting and enchantment lecture given by Prof Filius Flitwick in the Hawaian Ballroom (Sorry, wrong programme ) later today. Please bring your wands, potions manuals and a few toads and snails to practice on. No invisibility cloaks allowed.

barbara12

Oh can I join ...always wanted to be part of a coven...I already have my broomstick...brilliant for getting leaves up...and I have a wart complete with hair that wips around in the wind.... :shock: I will be back later with one of my spells..

stickywicket

A hairy wart You're definitely in, Barbara. Pull up an upturned cauldron and have a bit of stewed newt.

LignumVitae

Think this spell would be far too much to ask for but could we possibly do a spell for sulky, over reactive men?

mig

and one for miserable old gits.Mig

joanlawson

BY THE HAIR OF MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN
PUT MISERABLE SULKY OLD GITS IN THE RECYCLE BIN



Hope this works :!:

mig

worked a treat for about 10 mins :shock: :roll: Mig

stickywicket

After recycling, do they return as Usain Bolt, Joan? I can see a lot of possibilities with this spell.

dreamdaisy

This thread has cheered me up no end - it's been (and is being) a rough day and I needed another laugh or two to try to right matters. I am heading for bed with a smile, thanks to Barbara's hairy mole, Joan's jokes and Mig's general deadpan take on life. Tonight the miserable git in our family life is me: guilty as charged. DD (Who is grumpy, irked and peeved. I need an incantation to sort me out - get your thinking cap on, Joan! )

joanlawson

Boiling hot, boiling hot
What will we put in the witch's pot?
Boiling hot, boiling hot
We'll put some spiders in the witch's pot
Boiling hot, boiling hot
Put DD's pain in the witch's pot
Stir it round for one whole day
Tomorrow it will go away.



I can't guarantee that this will work, DD, but it's worth a try

joanlawson

stickywicket wrote:

After recycling, do they return as Usain Bolt, Joan? I can see a lot of possibilities with this spell.

Yes but then they run away too fast for us to catch them, unfortunately

stickywicket

I think we need another spell, Joan. How did we manage without them?

LignumVitae

Could we have a spell to swap the nutrition and calorie content of a cream cake with that of a piece of fruit please?

joanlawson

LignumVitae wrote:

Could we have a spell to swap the nutrition and calorie content of a cream cake with that of a piece of fruit please?

Never fear, Witch Joan is here :!:

Calories in cream cakes go away,
Don't come back another day :!:
Now those cakes won't make you fat,
But thin as beanpoles,
Think of that :!:

LignumVitae

Perfect Joan, thank you, you are super good at this! I'll dream of my beanpole making cream cakes LV xx

dreamdaisy

Joan! Your spell worked! Yesterday was an awesome day, I Clatterated around town with style, verve and some speed and even my neighbour said (as I wandered across the road for a natter without any form of support) 'Strewth girl, you're moving well.' Thank you my lovely, keep up the incantations! DD

joanlawson

dreamdaisy wrote:

Joan! Your spell worked! Yesterday was an awesome day, I Clatterated around town with style, verve and some speed and even my neighbour said (as I wandered across the road for a natter without any form of support) 'Strewth girl, you're moving well.' Thank you my lovely, keep up the incantations! DD

That's brilliant news, DD. I'll have to keep repeating it every night and you'll soon be the fastest Clatterator in town

mig

The miserable old git spell has worn off,I swear to god I will swing for him one day. :x Mig

stickywicket

Sorry about that, mig. Do you fancy a miserable old git swap instead? They say a change etc etc. (Lycra is not advisable though - well, not for mine, anyway.)

My ...ahem ....research (on Google) has led me to the Harry Potter spells. I see there is a 'vanishing' spell. I guess you could always try that instead. I am now about to use it on my arthritis. Obviously, I won't need to come back here but, as you've all been so good to me, I'm prepared to share it with you. Pity I didn't find it 51 years ago but better late than never. So, here goes.......evanesco arthritis......now that's really strange. Can anyone suggest what I'm doing wrong?

barbara12

Mig you need to top it up...a bit like a mobile phone..miserable git go away..come back smiling or you will PAY.... heres some more frogs and toads...just stew them and and put them in a pie.... he will never know..

LignumVitae

I think we're stuck Mig, it's a miserable git moon I reckon. Mine got up crashing and swearing for no obvious reason, I just pulled the duvet over my head and waited til I heard the third cup of coffee brew knowing by then the coast would be clear!

mig

Well he said we will give the fridge a good clean and clear out before we get the humira delivered I said I had already done it,ok he says I'll just check it,who the (word deleted) does he think he is,so major argument ensues with a lot of borruxing from me,he is now upstairs head phones on listening to Elvis.Toads in the cauldron along with some dubious fungi.Mig
Lots of cackling

stickywicket

Flippin' 'eck, mig, you don't know when you're well off. My fridge could be a major producer of your dubious fungi and Mr SW would be more likely to toss it in the pan with garlic and lemon juice than clean it off

mig

Why don't we all clear our fridges of dubious stuff and chuck it in the cauldron? More manic cackling.Mig