Just Saying .....

DebbieT

Ure all so kind, thank you!! That you'd still be thinking of me is very touching & means more than ul ever know.

I've been popping on & trying to post once in a while but I feel out of sorts still so I've not done much. We have a newbie who's name is turky, it made me chuckle as my surname is Turk & I call my hubby Turkie, amoungst many other nicknames

I'm coping surprising well though I'd be happier if I could cry! I'm sure it will happen at some point. I'm doing a reading at the funeral, not my own words, I'd ramble to much.

Thanks again, it gives me strength to read ure kind posts.
(((( )))) xxx

dreamdaisy

When it comes to grief you cannot do 'tears to order' - I know that from bitter experience. When my Pa died I thought I had grieved but it turns out that I didn't, simply because Ma was still there and she needed care and support. I did cry though, usually at the wrong times and occasionally in the wrong places but so what? People were always kind and understanding once they knew the reason why this fat woman was crying in the bread aisle in Sainsbury's or in other places. I remember one young man giving me the most comforting hug in front of the croissants - my Pa always called them 'crossings'.

Grief is a weird, disconcerting, upsetting, inconvenient and sometimes unpleasant experience but it is a necessary process. It won't happen though until the practicalities are done, in the short-term they divert one's focus.

We're here, OK? I am thinking of you and will be doing on the 4th: that is the first anniversary of my mother-in-law's death, that day will always have a resonance for us. ((((())))) DD

DebbieT

Oh thank you DD, I was starting to think something was wrong with me!! I wonder, for instance, if I was to stub my toe will I wail out of all proportion, I'm not brave enough to find out

The great grandchildren are releasing balloons & singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as a memorial in the late afternoon. The oldest is 7 youngest 2, so we wanted something, someway for them all to say their goodbyes, it seems more age appropriate. Children singing makes me cry at the best of times, I think that will be the start for me.

The hug near the croissants sounds so perfect. It restores ure faith in our humanity wen strangers can still show such compassion!!

I know how much uve been through & still are DD so your experiences are very much appreciated.xxx

dreamdaisy

Hon, I've been there and done that, I not only have the Tshirt but have watched the film and (in the case of Watership Down) have eaten the cast.

Nothing can prepare one for the loss of a parent. I have always relied on that particular quote from Gibran's The Prophet (if you haven't read it, please do because there are many more wise insights into the human condition) because it makes something positive from something negative. I refuse to be cowed on a long-term basis by life's dross; the better things outweigh the worst but it can take some discipline to spot them. They are, however, there. DD

Colin1

Debbie all I can do is wish you and your family all the love in the world, life can be so hard at times and I know how awful it is to see your parents suffer whilst your so unwell. If its ok ill say a prayer for you all. good luck
Debbie hope you don't mind but im going to send you a personal message for you all but mainly for the grand kids.
Love Colin xxx

stickywicket

You'll be OK, Debbie but grief won't be rushed. Please, for now, post only as and when it helps you, not because you feel you should. You owe us nothing. We shall still be thinking of you.

DebbieT

Hi,

I can't believe I'm posting in this thread once more.

My Dads younger brother passed away yesterday (31st)!! I truly believe losing another sibling & it being his 'big brother' was too much for him & he just gave up

I'm so sad for his kids, they're in their 30's but it still seems too young, blimey I'm 43 n I know it feels far too young for me to have lost my Dad.

I've offered to help in anyway I can but I don't honestly know if I can do much physically :roll:

Good night all.

Xxx xxX

thistlegirl

oh Debbie,

So sorry to hear this. You don't need to be there physically, if you can be there for them half as well as you are for us on this forum it will be greatly appreciated.

take care

Jenny

Toots

So very sorry Debbie Sending hugs, as always, in the hope they will be of small comfort x

DebbieT

Thank you both.

At least I know I've offered. They know I've just gone thru helping to arrange a funeral etc

She no longer speaks to her Mum who'd been divorced for years from my Uncle, so it's only a couple of them to do it all. I hope they ask for help if they need it. Bless um

Hugs are ALWAYS appreciated by me (((( ))))

Xxx xxX

barbara12

Debbie I am so very sorry, I was in my 30s when I lost my mum and dad...bless they will feel so lost..and I am sure they will be happy with the offer even is they don't take you up on it....Its just knowing that people care that counts....xxxx

DebbieT

Oh Barbara how awful for you

Thank you, I hope that's the case. I have to say, rather selfishly, I'm dreading another funeral so soon ......

Thank you as always.

(((( ))))

Xx xX

Boomer13

Gosh Debbie, that's very understandable

Sorry I haven't been around much. I'm not very "with it" at the moment but wanted to send you some (((()))).

xxAnna

stickywicket

DebbieT wrote:

Hugs are ALWAYS appreciated by me

Here you go then. More eloquent than anything I could say ((((()))))

dibdab

From me too ((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))). xx

Sometimes it seems it never rains but it pours . I really hope there will be some beautiful rainbow times for you soon.

Deb x

barbara12

Debbie its not selfish to dread another funeral...its just being human...I know I have said this in the past...(((()))xx