What made you smile today?

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  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Enjoy your new dishwasher. I hope you have a ceremony planned for it's first use.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Mr SW, trying and failing to use our son's microwave finally and uncharacteristically decided he'd have to ask for help.

    Son arrived, took in the situation at a glance and said, with just a hint of a smile, "Right. You put this (He waved the plug) into here (the socket) and then you press this switch down."
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Phone menu:

    "For 'Equipment Needs' press 1"

    "For 'Urgent Care' press 2"

    :?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Email from dil in LA. Our grandson;s baseball was cancelled as temperature had sunk to 11c.

    Sounds balmy (and barmy) to me.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,466
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    GC!!! Gd came in and said, 'I know what happened yesterday' (great grannie passed away), there, it was said and life very quickly got back to normal, I like that.
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Arnie went to jump on the poof and there was my red blanket on it and he landed on it and he and the blanket slid off and he looked up with this totally confused face and made me & my OH have a fit of giggles!! Wish I had taken a photo of his face! Priceless
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Not today, but the first day we managed to get out after all the wealth of snow that had fallen.

    On the village green about 20 children, of various ages, were making a superb igloo supervised by three or four adults.

    It was so cheering and a small bit of it is still there.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • lindamay
    lindamay Member Posts: 118
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Playing Pool today with our family on our holiday campsite in Norfolk to keep indoors from the pouring rain our 10 year old made us smile. There was also a dart board. Her Mum (my daughter) asked her if she could play darts. Her reply was "Yes I can. I have played with the Scouts. You don't know everything about me even though you are my Mum!"
    So true!
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    U.S.A. roadsigns - the ones actually written on the road - are written, logically, as one approaches them rather then as one naturally reads. So., where ours might say:
    STOP
    AHEAD
    here they say
    AHEAD
    STOP.

    Every year we snigger when we read what, in the UK would be
    SPEED
    HUMP.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sitting chatting in bed this morning The Spouse spotted one of my wayward witchy chin whiskers glinting in the sunlight. He ensured I realised he had spotted it: I joked that I would plait it with the others to make a goatee.

    'No need for you to do that,' he replied. My heart soared.

    'I can do it from here.' he concluded. My laughter roared. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sent by an old friend.

    I feel like my body has got totally out of shape,
    So I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
    I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
    I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But...
    By the time I got my leotard on,
    The class was over.

    It's scary when you start making the same noises
    As your coffee maker.

    THE SENILITY PRAYER:
    Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
    The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
    And the eyesight to tell the difference.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    From the same friend:

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-46101663

    Harriet. What a diva? Isn't she wonderful?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • auntie
    auntie Member Posts: 41
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    stickywicket wrote:
    From the same friend:

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    This all made me laugh so much. Especially the hoover one!

    Things that make me smile: my three amazing nieces, the way they think I’m the coolest thing in the world and argue over who gets to sit next to me at mealtimes. And when they make up quirky dance routines to pop songs. Little fizzing balls of energy, genius and love. [emoji3590]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    My three and a half year old granddaughter
    Lily "What's your name?"
    Me "Gilli"
    Lily "That's not your name. Your name's Granny!"
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,714
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    The newspaper headline "https://tinyurl.com/ybdm67br"
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Tyjen
    Tyjen Member Posts: 14
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    the same thing that makes me smile every day, my 4 year old grandson smiling at me from my laptop wallpaper, just melts my heart.
    I am from another planet, but its ok, they know me there.
  • stellabean
    stellabean Member Posts: 307
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    The sight of my daughters 8 week old kitten rolling and rubbing herself all over our 13 year old ridgeback dog while he slept absolutely cute. I am not sure if she was claiming him as hers or covering herself in his scent so she could hunt him.
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