Let's Just Do It

dreamdaisy

Oh gawd, I typed 'creak' when I meant 'creek' (not to be confused with Creake, either North and South and both in Norfolk).

I thought that clouts couldn't be cast 'til May was out. DD

applerose

Does that mean no ops till June?

daffy2

I thought that clouts couldn't be cast 'til May was out./quote]
Correct, so if you get the nails instead of the alternative anaesthetic you're stuck with them for a good few weeks.

I typed 'creak' when I meant 'creek'

That was your fingers doing predictive text....

stickywicket

Maybe predictive arthrictive text.

prefabkid47

Had a bit of a shock today............ :!:

Received a letter from my local hospital requiring that I attend a joint school.I wondered who had been doubting my expertise in my manufacturing of wooden replacement joints................ :x :x

Reading the letter further realised that the so called joint school in fact was to prepare me for my forthcoming hip replacement surgery.This covered topics from admission to discharge and after and included presentations from nursing staff,occupational therapists and physiotherapists................ :!:

However it did make me realise that the operation was becoming more of a reality and things were moving.............. :shock:

Ron

daffy2

Received a letter from my local hospital requiring that I attend a joint school.I wondered who had been doubting my expertise in my manufacturing of wooden replacement joints................

No Ron I think you've been put forward for a scholarship to hone your skills...

prefabkid47

daffy2 wrote:

Received a letter from my local hospital requiring that I attend a joint school.I wondered who had been doubting my expertise in my manufacturing of wooden replacement joints................

No Ron I think you've been put forward for a scholarship to hone your skills...

Would need to have a scholarship,couldn't afford the tuition fees on a pension :!:
However no need to hone my skills since can't improve on perfection.......

stickywicket

Joint school No wonder AAARGH is so popular. We don't mess about with all that sort of nonsense. Just get 'em in, carve 'em up and shove 'em out again.

I confess I'm a bit disappointed, Ron, that you lack enough faith in your own prostheses to allow us to have the honour of your op. We wouldn't send you to school first for a diploma in being a patient patient. We'd just ask you to arrive with your favourite joint and your anaesthetic of choice. I personally think you'd look lovely with a Queen Anne leg.

dreamdaisy

I think I have come up with a solution so surgery can be avoided. It dawned on me in bed, yesterday morning as I felt far too bones grind one-upon-the other, that what I needed was a good squirt of expanding foam into what's left of my joint cavities. This would be a special form of intelligent medical-grade foam (the stuff the plumbers use wouldn't be suitable) and would contain plastic fibres with an inner core of something unbreakdownable so it won't wear away. It would be strong enough to force the joints a little further apart than they are but would stop before the gap widens too much. Simples!

Ron: it's scary, yes? I can hear the Mastermind theme as I type . . . . but focus on the benefits you will gain, a much more cheery thought! DD

stickywicket

Pure genius, DD. Why has no-one thought of this previously? (Because, clearly, they lack your brain power.)

Right, well, Mr SW has one of those kind of 'gun things' that you inject putty etc into things with so the application of it is sorted.

What sort of 'gunge' do you think? How about cavity wall insulation? A spot of keyhole surgery and I reckon t' job's a good 'un.

How exciting! We will be surgical pioneers Well done, that woman!

daffy2

Even easier - pop along to the spinal bods store cupboard and liberate the disc mending gunk they have. There is also wood resin available that would probably be the best for Ron to use with his finely crafted Chippendale joints.

mig

Excuse me as I am in charge of injections can I do the gunk injecting as well,I used a gunk gun to redo the silicone round the washbasin (long time ago )and I know how to get a nice clean smooth finish,you do your gunking then you dips your finger in washing-up-liquid and smooth it along your newly gunked strip simples. Mig

daffy2

So you'd be frothing at the knees....

stickywicket

Brilliant, ladies! You are a tonic.

I'm just wondering how mig will apply the washing up liquid. Will she insert her finger through the 'keyhole' used by the gunk gun? Or just squirt and hope?

prefabkid47

stickywicket wrote:

Joint school No wonder AAARGH is so popular. We don't mess about with all that sort of nonsense. Just get 'em in, carve 'em up and shove 'em out again.

I confess I'm a bit disappointed, Ron, that you lack enough faith in your own prostheses to allow us to have the honour of your op. We wouldn't send you to school first for a diploma in being a patient patient. We'd just ask you to arrive with your favourite joint and your anaesthetic of choice. I personally think you'd look lovely with a Queen Anne leg.

sticky
I have all confidence in my prostheses,that is not the issue :!:

The policy of 'get 'em in,carve 'em up and shove 'em out again' rather reminds me of my local abbatoir............... :shock:

I think a Queen Anne leg would be ideal since would match my other leg (you've been peeping)............ :!:

The anaesthetic of my choice would be the publication 'The Pocket Guide to Footballer's WAGS',although painful to administer deep sleep would be guaranteed...............

Ron

prefabkid47

mig wrote:

Excuse me as I am in charge of injections can I do the gunk injecting as well,I used a gunk gun to redo the silicone round the washbasin (long time ago )and I know how to get a nice clean smooth finish,you do your gunking then you dips your finger in washing-up-liquid and smooth it along your newly gunked strip simples. Mig

mig
You've been watching too much Barry Bucknell (or are you too young to remember him).

prefabkid47

daffy2 wrote:

Even easier - pop along to the spinal bods store cupboard and liberate the disc mending gunk they have. There is also wood resin available that would probably be the best for Ron to use with his finely crafted Chippendale joints.

daffy
My joints are made with such precision that the use of resin or any other filler is never needed...................... :shock:

daffy2

Ron, I'm not disputing the precision of your joint making, but as we all know those made by Mother Nature or Our Father don't always reach the same high standards - else we wouldn't be needing the surgery in the first place.

mig

I remember Barry see first name terms ,it will be the finger your Stickyness ,I'm used to giving the finger. Mig

dreamdaisy

So, the means are already in existence? Why oh why has this never been done to other joints in the body? Ah, think I know why: surgeons love the blood and gore, the saws and hammers, drills and cordless screwdrivers plus the terrific manoeuvres they put the new joint through to make sure it's properly bedded in. Funny bunch, surgeons.

I am more than happy for you, Mig, to give me the finger, especially when it's one as experienced as yours. DD