BOOKINGS BEING TAKEN FOR CRUISE NUMBER 3

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Comments

  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    You work for Thomas Cook and I claim my £5

    How did you guess :?:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Belly Dancing Jokes

    Q: What do you call a belly dancer with a sword?

    A: A veiled threat.


    Q: What kind of crowds do belly dancers hang out in?

    A: Hip circles!


    Q: What do belly dancers do on their nights off?

    A: Go out dancing sheik to sheik!


    Q: What is the difference between a belly dancer and an incompetent pastry chef?

    A: One shakes body parts, and the other bakes shoddy tarts!


    Q: Where can you go to learn how to belly dance?

    A: To a navel academy.

    :lol::lol:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 23. Feb 2010, 10:55
    rehab44 wrote:
    It was the phraseology and the Thomas Cook name badge taped just above your navel that gave it away :D

    I seem to have lost the door somewhere :!: :!: Need a quick exit form the travel agent's before I get found out :!:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    There once was a woman from France

    Who decided to learn how to dance.

    She wiggled her hump

    And shimmied her rump

    Whenever they gave her the chance.

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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    BOOM BOOM :!: :!: :lol::lol:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 23. Feb 2010, 14:15
    BELLY DANCING Lesson 1

    This is a simple exercise that everyone can do, that will help you get in touch with your inner self -- or at least with your belly roll muscles!

    Stand comfortably, in good belly dance posture. That means your feet should be directly below your shoulders, your knees relaxed, and your rib cage held high -- imagine a puppet string attached to your breastbone that is pulling it up and separating it from the rest of your body. Put your hands anywhere comfortable where they can relax -- I always demonstrate with my hands on my hips, but their exact placement isn't important.

    Now, suck in your gut as far as you can possibly suck it in. Got it as far as it'll go? Now try to pull it in just a little farther! When I teach this to my students, I tell them to visualize pulling their belly button all the way back to touch the spine. Hold it as long as you comfortably can. Next, relax it thoroughly. Relax it so much that your stomach area protrudes as far forward as it could possibly want to. We're so conditioned by Western society to keep a flat stomach, that we often find relaxing the stomach area to be more difficult than sucking it in! Notice that I'm not telling you to forcibly push your stomach out -- just relax it and let it all droop forward. Repeat.

    Easy, isn't it :?:
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  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    joanlawson wrote:
    BELLY DANCING LESSON, Number 1

    This is a simple exercise that everyone can do, that will help you get in touch with your inner self -- or at least with your belly roll muscles!

    Stand comfortably, in good belly dance posture. That means your feet should be directly below your shoulders, your knees relaxed, and your rib cage held high -- imagine a puppet string attached to your breastbone that is pulling it up and separating it from the rest of your body. Put your hands anywhere comfortable where they can relax -- I always demonstrate with my hands on my hips, but their exact placement isn't important.

    Now, suck in your gut as far as you can possibly suck it in. Got it as far as it'll go? Now try to pull it in just a little farther! When I teach this to my students, I tell them to visualize pulling their belly button all the way back to touch the spine. Hold it as long as you comfortably can. Next, relax it thoroughly. Relax it so much that your stomach area protrudes as far forward as it could possibly want to. We're so conditioned by Western society to keep a flat stomach, that we often find relaxing the stomach area to be more difficult than sucking it in! Notice that I'm not telling you to forcibly push your stomach out -- just relax it and let it all droop forward.

    Easy, isn't it :?:
    Hi Joan...done it and got the tea shirt....but never did get the hang of it....to much to suck in me thinks :roll:
    Love
    Barbara
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I can do the all droop forward bit though, can you :?:
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  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 23. Feb 2010, 14:34
    joanlawson wrote:
    I can do the all droop forward bit though, can you :?:
    yes..and a couple of wiggles...but I never did look like the others .......
    Love
    Barbara
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    BELLY DANCING Lesson 2

    Find your glutes

    For the benefit of readers who are not familiar with the word "glutes", I'll briefly mention that this term refers to the gluteus maximum muscles, also often known as the "butt cheeks" or the "buttocks".

    If glute squeezes are done by themselves, without the side-to-side motion of a hip bump, they will move the hips in an up/down direction. Alternatively, the glute squeezes can be added to moves such as hip bumps (side-to-side hip movement) to make them crisp.

    Sometimes it's easier to isolate your "gluteus maximus" muscles when sitting down. As you read this, clench your right butt cheek, then relax it. Now, clench your left butt cheek, then relax it. Do this 8 times on each side. Make it a small clench. Try to keep the thigh and lower leg relaxed. You won't find your body "rising" on the clenched side, but that's okay. The point is to feel the action of the muscle and learn to control it. Practice this exercise until you can isolate the gluteus with confidence.
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  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    :shock: i'm doing it Joan, getting strange looks from my son :roll:
    julie xx
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,401
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Thought I could hear some lovely music. It's quite hypnotic. I say, I like this, but I shall do it behing closed doors. I'm shy.

    Joy
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Are we still in morocco...just asking then I can update my brain....where ever we are it is lovely and warm s020.gif
    Love
    Barbara
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    so good to be warm was fed up ot the snow we got here fast did i miss belly dancing classes
    val
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hold everything! I tried lesson one and knocked myself out!

    Two black eyes and a broken nose from a belly dancing lesson? No one will believe it?????

    Annie
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,401
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    snowball wrote:
    :) Joy i think i need a bit of help with my dolphins what with balloon animals and painting who knew i could multitask :)

    Sorry Julie. I fell asleep during the art lesson. now where were we?

    I think we may all trying to be a little bit too ambitious.
    Tricia. When you have finished turning your paper this way and that so that the paint spreads across the paper, we then mix the paint for the sea. Are you going to paint a lovely boat!!

    Joy
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,401
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hello rehab.

    Do you still want me to sell raffle tickets.

    I think everyone has bought 3 strips each.

    Joy
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    :shock: Annie i think you should lie down for a bit do you want me to find you a hunky masseur :?:
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Take more than a puppet to lift my breast bones :shock:

    sorry only just got here
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Joy i think i'm going to try and paint a boat
    julie xx
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    trisher wrote:
    Take more than a puppet to lift my breast bones :shock:

    sorry only just got here
    :shock: lift the breast bone i missed that bit mmm that might be a bit tricky :roll:
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Excuse me Joan

    How can my shoulders be under my feet. Everytime I try that I fall out my wheelchair. :shock: Blooming hurts too.

    My Glutis, well he won't budge he only moves for the nurse, when she wants to give me an injection, then he's bruised.

    oooppppss sorry Annie ooops Val it's my glutis look see that bruise that is where I tried to get my shoulder under my feet.......opppp Sorry Julie

    Suck in my tummy, my mouth won't reach that far down if I ssssrrpp I go blue

    Can I be excused
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    trisher wrote:
    Excuse me Joan

    How can my shoulders be under my feet. Everytime I try that I fall out my wheelchair. :shock: Blooming hurts too.

    My Glutis, well he won't budge he only moves for the nurse, when she wants to give me an injection, then he's bruised.

    oooppppss sorry Annie ooops Val it's my glutis look see that bruise that is where I tried to get my shoulder under my feet.......opppp Sorry Julie

    Suck in my tummy, my mouth won't reach that far down if I ssssrrpp I go blue

    Can I be excused
    Trish behave...or there will be no more cherries
    Love
    Barbara
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    :shock: belly dancing it's more like belly wobbling, Trish is making me laugh :lol:
    julie xx
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    We could have a belly wobbling competition! I think mine is out of my control...............Trish, please stop falling out of your chair, you fell on me last time!

    Annie