Advice kinda needed......

Poppyg1rl

Hi Cris,
Courage you have in spades, kindness in buckets, and friends? You have too many to mention! We love you, respect you, admire you and rightly so.
Fear can do many things to us, once it gets you in it's grip it can be hard to shake off, BUT you can and will.
My advice? Baby steps...cope with today, just get through that and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow, that includes worrying over other peoples reaction.
Keep talking to us, you are not being selfish at all, plenty of people would be panicking and running round like a headless chicken and what do you do? get on here offering support as you do time and time again, take it from me, that's not the behaviour of a selfish person.
'Keep calm and carry on' always been my motto.
Love and hugs Cris Xxx

dreamdaisy

Hells bells, I wasn't expecting that! I just put what I thought and I stand by every word.

You need some muddly time, everyone does from time to time: there are far too many thoughts whirling round and they need the time to do that, then you will regain control, the old visualisation skill will come to the fore again and things will be drowned, boxed up, cut down, entombed, burned until the essence is left, ready to be sorted. You take your time, talk to us, sort your thoughts out in your posts - I think that really does help. Poppy is right, one small thing at a time once the flurry of uncertainty settles. DD

tillytop

Hello Cris

I'm not wise like this lot so don't really feel I can offer any suggestions about your dilemma.

But what I can do is send love, ((()))s and a nudge from the deer.

Thinking of you.

Lots love Tilly xxx

jennylynn

Hi Cris,

I'm so sorry to see that you are struggling at the moment. You have had some amazing advice on here and i couldnt possibly offer anything that others havent said.
I just wanted to pay you a compliment, that of all the people on this site you are 100% positively the least selfish!! no matter what is going on with you, you are always there to send a positive word or offer some advice - and you genuinely care. if there were more people like you in the world then it would be a better place in my opinion.
Granted this doesnt help with your dilemma, but i sincerely hope that you do put yourself first and stop worrying about how your illness affects others. Family are just that, related to you whatever happens (for the good and the bad) friends are with you by choice and not by design.

Thinking of you,

Jennyx

Wonkylegs

HI Cris my love

many people have said such good things to you already that I only want to add that you can be in charge of who knows what - tell them as much/little as they need to know, but keep it to the facts. You only know what you know, so can't tell them more than that.

As to how others react - that's their business not yours

thinking of you so much and sending Miss LL for tomorrow with her very best nurses uniform on underneath her sale tabbard that way she's ready for every eventuality .... though do watch out for the sharpened claws

much love
WOnky xxxx

fayrose

Oh Cris, I have just read through this. No advice to give, you have it all and what hasn't been said by these dear folks here, you already know.

All I can say is my heart aches for you and I wish you were within arms reach for a huge hug. xxxxx

speedalong

HI Cris, I think you should warn them, as helping someone out requires planning and reorganisation and this is easier if it is prepared for rather than a rushto get it sorted.

Speedy

rugbygirl

I havent read the entire thread of this so I dont know if anyone has actually mentioned to this or if you know of this. Someone advised me to explain how I feel to someone who doesnt know about how this affects me by using the Spoon Theory. I dont know if you are aware of this or if you have ever used it but I showed it to my family and asked them to read it. Once they had read it they understood things a lot more and I am now out to share this with everyone so that they understand I am not being a pain but there really are issues that i have to deal with.

I also think that its a good idea to be upfront with people because if you keep things from them regardless of who they are things could get difficult in the long run.

Hope things work out for you

skezier

Hi Poppy, DD, Tilly, Jenny, Wonky, Fay, Speedy and jaki,

Thanks for all your messages and the hugs very gratefully received just now.... Lot of pain today and only some of it bones for a change... mind not change now but I remember the days when it was just bones that kicked me all the time never thought I could look at those days with fondness

No letter and no phone call but they still have 9 days to go..... shall wait till 4 days and start kicking up i think..... be the first time if i do but think I do have to really..... I need to know!

I kinda feeling a bit reassured about the selfishness side.... thank you.. I made avow in blood i would not become like them.....

Have sent the email and will ring my mate tomorrow and like some of you have said keep it fact only and hope don't get a lecture.I just feeling so fragile and not used to that! Really not actually.

Jaki the spoon thing, you know about that one but these people.... they just don't care its that simple. I just don't know if its right to leave them like mushrooms in the dark.....

Speedy similarly they would never help but they will possibly go off on my way of life and self inflicted etc etc etc and we back to the fragile thing again......

I think the phone call I got to make and the email I already sent will be enough for a min.... its enough for me at any rate.... feels like walking up to a lion and sticking your head in its mouth but they at least wont be upset....... unless they too have issues.... Oh Jenny your so right you can't choose your family

Right I shall stop wallowing.... stop panicking..... and just wait it out as best I can...... I got it narrowed down to 2 possibles and anything outside of that will be a bonus

Hey DD I would hit it with some visualisation but that's tied up at the mo with the duck in her pink fluffy slippers Kinda got me through the day that one.....

Fay got the dog... she is lovely but insane so kinda fits in to this mad house quite well She is a bit insecure but I expected that. Magic really and well in one way it was bad timing but in another so good to have distraction of this magnitude... she is insane and very active..... thank god for fields eh?! Hope your doing ok by the way?

Wonky lovely to see you and yep she has to cover every eventuality cus its the Saturday one that's the hardest... but the car is already loaded up :shock:

Tilly the deer is wonderful and I shall keep him well away from murdering sheep

My thanks to you all and sorry i have sort of fallen apart a bit... back to Val's bricking it eh?! :oops:

You all take care and Poppy will go and post on your post now... love the idea of glitter though

Buckets of hugs and tea for you all. Cris xx

psyart

Hi cris ~ you have got the world on your shoulders and i wish i could help you more than just in words. but i cant really say anymore than the good people on here have said.

i do think that by writing on here may have helped you decide what to do ~ putting horrid things into words, even writing words, i believe helps clear some of the c@@p in ones head.

i will be here for you along with everyone else because you are a special lady, full of courage and grit.

try and take one day at a time ~ easy for me to say but until you get there you cant do anything.

loads of hugs and love for you ~ take care my lovely

louise xxxx

skezier

Hi Louise,

So nice to see you again and really hope your feeling a lot better? least we have them bellows gong and the sun has been shining eh?!

I think your right and well i have done the email and will grit my teeth and do the phone call and then... well 9 days to hell up and counting You know how bad T is and if they do the 2 weeks one I shall be gobsmacked

You hang in there flower and so wish things were better fro you as well. ((((( ))))) and love Cris xx

magenta

Hi Cris,
This is my second attempt, lost my first one!
I apologise with the lateness in replying, I've only just seen this :oops:

I'm taking it as a good sign that you've not been admitted to hospital for the procedure now and not having to wait weeks. You will need support from someone so it's good to let people know. I'm not very good at this so I'm wishing you well and know you will keep us updated. I'll keep an eye out for you posting,

lots of love((((((((())))))))) from me and my family,
Eileen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

roses1

Hi Cris,

((((( ))))) and Tea! first!!

You need to tell your person who is to look after your animals, but you can be brief so as not to cause yourself too much hassall . I think the advice all ready given is fair to go by.. You need to think of YOU!! and your animals, to hell with the rest of them! This is your life and you need to look after you !!

Please be kind to yourself and do what you want. Look at it from all angles
if you do tell them and they 'dont care' will you be hurt and upset?
If they show they care will you accept it?
Dont do it so they can ease their conscience if they have unfinished buisness!

Take 1 step at a time and dont worry about others and their feelings. You cant please everyone so please yourself! Cant think where i heard that oh well!

Take care of YOU!! and the employers of course!
(((((( )))))) and more T

Rose x

minky67

Hi Cris, Im only just catching up after a hectic day.
Im so sorry your going through all of this, i think everything has been said & now its up to you to decide who you want to tell.
It not easy but the wait will soon be over & you'll know what your facing.
Me personally, i wouldnt tell anyone thats not been there for me as thats not going to change anything. You really dont need any more stress in your life.

Thank you for being there for me today even though your going through all this shift.
Remember im always here for you too & will be holding your hand throughout.

Sending ((((((hugs)))))) in abundance, buckets of tea & i ended up with a blue egg this morning
luv debs

dreamdaisy

Morning my lovely, I hope you had a reasonable night and that sleep was involved at some point. I will be thinking of you today and I hope that all goes well with the sale: I know that will be hard work both physically and mentally but it may provide some sort of a diversion and that can only be a good thing. Take care. DD ((()))

skezier

Hi Eileen,

Your right that's some comfort but not sure it works that way... it would if it bleed been lucky but well I shall be very surprised if it is an ulcer.....

Hope your ok and leaving a (((( )))) and a hope for a sunny day. Cris xx


Hi Rose,

Your sentence 'Dont do it so they can ease their conscience if they have unfinished business' is exactly what this is about.... nothing else....

Its the problem with a estranged family thing..... I have guilt they don't, I kinda think sometimes they should as well but I ok they don't care cus I don't want to upset anyone and well know with them I can't

I have done the email and have left a message (cop out really but....) and that's as much as I can do just now.....

No answers as yet but that's the way it will be I think.

Leaving you tea, hugs and a misty sunrise over the front field... ((((( ))))) xx


Hi Debs,

Your welcome flower and am leaving you more strength and fortitude and got everything crossed. xx


Hi DD,

Another pain ridden night.. you know one day i shall come in and say hey i don't hurt and got nothing to moan about

Its stopped me doing the sale today as its a lot of carrying and I can't spread my arms cus of the sternum and rib pain. Tomorrow is out door straight out the car so will be able to do that one with Slipper boy and Slurpy's help... Leaving a (((( )))) and a hope your okish today and the knees have been a bit better? xx

Oh does anyone know why Litlelegs and Slurpy are eyeing me up with an instamatic camera in their paws........

dreamdaisy

OK, no sale it is for today so please, please rest. Yes I know that is a filthy, filthy word in your vocabulary but, my darling girl, your poor body needs a break. Get the Sims going, or play the Sean the Sheep game on the BBC website - you can even make a Sean mask! (dunno how much cutting and sticking is required tho).

As for the family, well, **** 'em. That's my sage advice for the day. DD

caterina57

Morning Cris
Been thinking of you all night and i am happy that you have decided what to do on the telling front - you have done what you need to and all you can do is wait for their replies.
We will be waiting for that call with you and ticking off the days, slurps and little legs have the camera because they want a photo of their lovely mamma Lol
You take care and rest as you need to
((((()))))) to top up the bucket and a spinkle of Good Luck for you too
Cath

annie_mial

OMG, Cris........I'm crawling back into the land of the living and I find this! So sorry I've not been around recently, but high-dose steroids (not for arthritis, but for arteritis) plus a stomach bug I picked up somewhere have laid me low for several weeks.

Petal, everyone has said it for me..........and I can't think of any new words. I am now holding you in my thoughts and wish with all my heart that I could be of some practical use.

You are truly an amazing woman, must be good stock down there! Come to think of it, have met other Cornish folk with the same tenacity and doggedness.

Love, tea and...........I found a patch of wild garlic in the garden this morning.............any good?

Annie

barbara12

Hi Cris
Im still here....I hope you get a good sale tomorrow...will makeup for missing one
One of these days I will come down with my OH and do the sales for you.....COME ON GET YU EGGS...BLUE ONES A PENNY EXTRA...we used to come down there twice a year, but OH is the only driver....think we would have to do it in two halves now we are oldish... :roll:
You take care my love.....
Plenty of good vibes coming your way
Love
Barbara xx

ironic

Hi Cris,
Sorry I have not been about recently flower. I think by now that you know that you have to go into me first mode. I am glad you have sent the e-mail off and I hope the phone call goes better than you think.
Families well... I sort of know where you are coming from there. Back burner for now I think petal.
The waiting is the worst, wanting it to be over. My mantra is one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time.
Please don’t beat yourself up about things that are what they are. Sending you a bucket of cope.
Hugs as always,
Lv, Ix

skezier

Hi DD,

I have this design fault and try as I might i can't leave.... **** 'em is what i should do but I don't want them to have to carry guilt..... The bridges are burned but never by me... see that's the design fault in operation eh?! You want tea? I can drink tea.... bout the only thing I can.... ((( ))) and a kick for that bucket. xx

Hi Cath,

Bit of better news... my mate just rang and is coming down so that's good cus she will kick me out of the panic....

She also will come for the camera..... That's such a life.. but may be not for her Think I might become a mess eh?!

I suspect they are up to no good.... they are looking at a medical book and Miss L Legs has her very best sparkly matron costume on... Wonky have her back she is starting to find implemented as well as the instamatic

Hope your ok Cath and will go look to see if you have updated your post.(((()))) and tea as well xx

Annie my Friend you have so been through the mills.....I can't tell you how much I hope it will sort out for you son.

Yep we lot are born from granite Doesn't that make us dwarfs?

Val said about bricking it and that's about right but it isn't too bad cus there are some possibilities..... none of them good but only really bad

My Nan was ill, she was so good at keeping going... she is kinda my role model and well its not a bad thing just now

Hey saw Rowan... he is so hairy but a lot bigger... he isn't coming back as he is a boy.... The amazing one is Bracken... he looks really nice but I always thought he would come good ... well after the first couple of days when he was sop week...

Primmy is beautiful and still remembers me They will be here next month as the grass is starting to come on... good timing eh?! Shall be looking for more names....

You hang i there Annie and I shall stick my head firmly back in the sand cus the headless chicken is just no really me Love and ((((( ))))) and hopes flower as well as buckets of strength and fortitude. xxx

skezier

Hi Barbara,

Flower I really should have gone today but I couldn't... how ever pathetic that sounds i just couldn't lift and spread my arms... its eased off a bit now and just as well cus have i got some clean up to do :shock:

Its such a long way from anywhere but its self really...... Back and beyond is one of its charms in a way but a big disadvantage as well at times....

Love the idea of a penny extra on the blue eggs.... you know they do do that cus there is a myth they have less cholesterol... its got no scientific evidence behind it Lot of folks think they are duck eggs.... and I have 2 i the fridge that could be duck or chicken so they mine Love and (((( )))) xx

Hi I,

Wise words there my friend I can;t change anything.... Wish I could but I don't their mind set and they sure as hell can't do mine

I need to box the fear and tie it up till I know for sure cus it might be 3 other things combined.... or just the crohn's cus that's evil and can play havoc eh?

Nice to see you and Sid has gone for me without spurs 3x so I got his rail ticket and he is on his way... you might need to boil him he has to be 5...... he may not see 6..... if he doesn't stop this he really will be in a box north bound ((( ))) to you my friend and as ever thank you. xx

chris7

Hi Cris

So sorry I haven't been in for a day or two and find you have been going through all this emotional upheaval. Am glad the support here from everyone has helped a little to get some of those whirling thoughts a bit straighter and I really can't add much except to say you are the most unselfish person I know. You have nothing to ever feel guilty for with regard to the family or indeed anyone else.
Well done on sending the email, it felt right for you to do that. I know you are counting the days until you get some answers. I am thinking of you and sending courage, and hugs always (((( ))))
Chris xx

skezier

Hi Chris,

Good to see you again. Hugs and courage much, much, much appreciated.... kinda need some just now cus mine seem a bit AWOL.

You right the waiting is bad.... Chris the pain doesn't stop and it gets worse from certain movements so I keep getting this reminder its very much there.... that don't help with the sand dive either....

I shall go back to being an ostrich and my mate... well it will make me pull up some veneer that also seems to have gone AWOL... you haven't seen it have you? The poor old cope is still kinda alive and that's the biggest shock of all (((( )))) coming back to you and hope your ok? Cris xx